Night Terrors

3

Curtis woke up clinging to his blankets and sweating.  He pushed the covers off and went to his small bathroom, splashing water on his face in an effort to hide the obvious red around his eyes. He had another nightmare, and no doubt someone had heard him screaming too- this wasn't good. Not only did the people on this ship possibly know about his disorder, this also meant that either meds had stopped working, or he built up resistance and had to take more. The man set his hands on the counter and looked in the mirror, a set of tired eyes staring back at him. Any more of this and people would start to notice. He would lose focus, he could seriously harm people if he let the exhaustion get to him. The puffiness of his eyes was finally starting to subside, but the weight on his chest certainly didn't. Today, with so many things that could possibly be waiting for him outside his dorm, he didn't want to go outside. He just didn't have the energy to hold all this weight anymore, and Curtis felt like he would collapse any second. He reached into his drawer to search for the little relief he could find, but it wasn't there. A small folded up paper had taken its place. Curtis' eyes widen as he unfolds the note, and his heart dropped. How was he supposed to explain to Captain Shirogane , the most powerful man on the atlas, that he had been taking medication for the comfort of others? That he was depressed and he wanted to give up? That cutting was the only relief he got? He felt dizzy, and he sat down on the floor, heat beating quickly. He was in for it now
———
Shiro heard a knock on his office door, followed by a quiet, shaky voice.
"Captain Shirogane?"
"Come in"
Curtis walked into the room, staring at the ground. He wouldn't look Shiro in the eye, only fidgeted with his fingers as he sat down in front of the older's desk.  "Curtis, I wanted to talk to you about your...your coping methods. You can't do this anymore, it's going to affect you as well as the people around you if you take this too far."
"I understand," the man shifted in his chair, "but please don't worry. I'll be fine, I promise."
Shiro looked at him with skeptical eyes. He'd heard this before, but he wasn't sure how to help Curtis if he wasn't going to talk to him. He knew His officer didn't want to distract him or anyone else. Even from his voice alone the Captain could tell he was lying. His shaking hands didn't do him any good either. "Further, you should have put your night terrors on your medical form. We have meds for that, you just have to-"
"I told the staff at the infirmary. They've been giving me meds, but this past week they've stopped working. I didn't put it on my form because the meds always kept them suppressed. I didn't think it would be a problem, but you've made it clear I was wrong, and I'm sorry."
When Curtis finally looked up at Shiro, the older could see the hurt in his once-vibrant blue eyes.
"Go to your dorm and take a day off Curtis. I'm going to formally enter your condition on your medical records and tell the doctors in the infirmary about you self harm." Curtis's eyes widened and he tensed up.
"Don't."
"Excuse me?"
"You can tell them about the night terrors, but don't tell them about the cutting. Let me sort it out myself. Just... I have to do this alone."
Shiro looked at him, and his eyes softened. "Let me see your arms, I'll let you go, and we'll keep this between us." The younger rolled back his sleeves to reveal the patterns of red lines, some old scars while others were fresh, like it had barely been a day. He looked down, embarrassed.
"You can't do it anymore, please. This is the one thing I'm asking of you for now, just don't do it. Don't hurt yourself anymore, promise me."
A brief silence followed, and finally, Curtis uttered the two words Shiro was looking for.
"I promise"