All over again (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 38

Harry's POV

  Running from things. That's what I'm good at doing. Running from my problems seems to always be the answer. When I left Louis I could see all the hurt in his eyes. I didn't want to leave him. It wasn't my choice, I just.. I have to do it for us. Lately I haven't been myself. The old me used to not give two shits of what management thought about Louis and I being together but the 'New' me is afraid of being judged because of my sexuality. I know that Louis can see how much I've changed. I feel like he doesn't look at me the same way with those loving eyes.

  I give Gemma a call and ask her where she's at. She tells me she's in town giving me a little piece of hope knowing I'll still be close to Louis. I tell her that I'm on my way and hang up the phone. I take a bus to the hotel she's staying at and sit all the way in the back. I take out my phone and look at the pictures I have of Louis. I wish I would have taken more because I've seen these 100 pictures at least twenty times. I scroll down to a picture where Louis is laughing with his head thrown back. He looks so happy here, I wish that's how things could stay.. but they can't.

  The bus reaches my stop and I thank Ed for driving me. I get to the hotel room and knock on the door.

  "Oh Harry it's so nice to see you! Come in, come in!" Don't get me wrong I love my sister but how could she be this happy all the time? "Erm.. hi." I rub the back of my neck not knowing what to do. She takes my bags and sets them on the ground next to the empty bed is assume I'll be sleeping on. I walk over to the bed, take a seat and look at the picture of Louis again. "Oooh who's that cute fella?" Jealousy rushes through my body but I remember that it's my sister we're talking about. "He's with me." I give my sister a look claiming what's mine and not hers. "Is he that guy you always talk about? His name is... um.. it's.." She snaps her fingers trying to remember what his name was. "It's Louis." I blurt out ending her 'hard' thinking.

  "Ahh yes, Louis." There's a long pause before she speaks again. "How's he doing?" A tear slips out of my eye at the thought of Louis being hurt because of me. "Can we not talk about it.." I wipe my eyes and turn my head. "Harry I'm so sorry I didn't.." I take a deep breath before interrupting her. "It's fine." I wipe my eyes one last time before heading to the bathroom. I close the door behind me and that's when I let it all go. I break into tears and look at myself in the mirror. You're worthless. You're nothing. You're a nobody. Nobody loves you. Die. No one needs you. Leave. You don't deserve to be here. I take out the razor in my pocket and begin to cut. I know Gemma wouldn't appreciate blood all over her hotel bathroom, so I decide to cut over the sink. I start from my wrists and make my way up to my arms. At this point I am completely numb and can't feel a single nerve in my body. I attempt to turn on the sink to wash out the blood and succeed. I take off my black shirt and wrap it around my wrists. "Harry, are you okay?"

  I walk past her and sit on the bed. "Harry?" I look up to her and she sees how red my eyes are. "Harry talk to me." Tears begin to stream down my face once again."I lost everything I loved Gemma!" I remove the shirt to reveal my cuts and she gasps. "Oh my god Harry!" She searches my pants in attempt to find the razor blade. She finally finds it and takes it. "No! That's mine!" I squeeze her small hand that holds the razor blade. I begin to see blood running from her palm down her arm. She opens her hand to reveal the wound and I snatch the blade causing the cut to become deeper. She looks at me and I could see hurt in her eyes. "Who are you.." Those three words broke me even more. This is the first time I've seen my sister this way.. hurt. "Gemma.. I'm sorry. I just.. I don't know what's gotten into me." She goes to get a small towel from the bathroom and wraps it around her hand.

.....

  I guess Gemma didn't want to make my stay all depressing so she eventually forgave me and tried to make me laugh. It worked. I've never felt so happy ever since that day. I get a ton of calls from Louis but choose to ignore them and send them straight to voicemail. Gemma tells me how a guy tried hitting on her but she didn't even bother because he only wanted her for her looks. I see a box pop up on my screen indicating that I received a voicemail. I excuse myself and go out to the hallway to listen the voicemail.

  "You have one voicemail from Louis Tomlinson. Press 1 to listen to the voicemail, Press 2 to delete the voicemail, Pre-" I cut off the voice of the automatic machine by pressing 1.

  *Harry pick up this is urgent!*

  I look at the screen once again before hanging up. The message icon pops up indicating I have one new message.

   *Hey.. uh.. please answer this is urgent. Management is on their way and I just wanted to say- *

  It takes me ten minutes to try to figure out what he has to say but I come up with nothing. I finally decide to give Louis a call. As it rings I walk back into the room only to find Gemma all giggley and happy. She starts talking but I don't pay much attention to her. On the third ring, Louis finally decides to pick up.

  "Harry!"

  "Why did you want me to call you so bad?"

  "Management has a-"

  Gemma starts talking too loud so I decide to shush her.

  "Louis? What do they have?"

  "You know what.. forget it. Forget about last night. Forget about me. Forget about us."

  He hangs up the phone before I could question whats gotten into him. Did I really hurt him this bad that I caused him to hang up just like that? I set down my phone and ask Gemma what she was even saying.

"I was saying that we should find that Louis guy and bring him here so you two could spend time together!"

  Bringing Louis here would fix some of the problems we're having and it would give me a chance to apologize.

  "That's an amazing idea but management can't know I'm alive.." I look down at the ground knowing this would probably never work.

  "What if I go get him?"

  In an instant, my head pops up. "Really? You would do that for me?"

  "No, actually I would do it for me because have you seen the butt on that boy!" I give Gemma a glare and she just gives me a simple smile. "I'm kidding! Of course I would do it for you!"

  I let out a huge sigh of relief almost too exaggerated. "I'll be back in two days Harry. That gives you time to do whatever you please." She giggles and with that she's out the door. I begin to hang up my clothes and fix everything. What am I going to do? I am literally running back and forth across the room. I take off all my clothes and get in the shower. It's true, the shower is a great place to do all your thinking. After a while I start to feel the cold water hit my back. I take that as a sign to get out and do so. I set out my clothes for tomorrow, something Louis used to always do. I sigh and get dressed before sitting back on the bed. I take a short nap and before I know it, the light of tomorrow is already shining.

  I change my clothes and sit on the bed for what seems like hours but is only a matter of minutes. I hear a loud knock on the door and silently make my way to the peep hole. I take a look and see three big men standing on the other side of the door.

  What the fuck is management doing here? I stay silent and quietly make my way back to the bed. "He's not in here." I hear one of the bold men say. As I hear them begin to walk away I let out a sigh of relief. How did they know I was here? I look over to my phone and see that it had just died about 5 minutes ago due to not being charged. When I examine my phone, I notice something rather odd. I see a small chip like microchip on the back of my phone. What the hell is this? I go over to Gemma's laptop and look it up. The search results were unbelievable.

  Tracking Device is what it read. Shit! I rip it off and turn on the fire in the fireplace located in the front wall of the room and throw it in there. Once I put out the fire I hear a knock on the door, this time it's much lighter but I still jump at the sound. I check the peep hole only to find that it's Louis on the other side of the door. I open it and say something before he could. "We don't have time, management knows I'm alive.."

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  A/N: My concert was the best! 5/5 boys said hi to us and I freaked out! We made a sign and I accidentally held it upside down and Louis laughed haha. HARRY STYLES POINTED TO ME AND MY SISTERS AND SAID HI! Overall it was an amazing experience and I would want to go again!