shadows - lashton

Chapter 7

*Ashton's P.O.V*

We had driven home in complete silence. My mum turned down my suggestion of putting the radio on, and then proceeded to pretend I wasn't there for the remainder of the journey. The way I had felt was so foreign, never before had my lungs been so full of fear it was suffocating. I never removed my sight from the outside world, desperate to run away and find myself in the wilderness.

Nature had once always seemed so beautiful to me, yet my perspective continued to change. Because I didn't understand the world, not truly. Until now I saw only what everyone else saw, but now was I discovering that it was all just an image intended to hide the truth. Force people to look past the hatred, the pain, the suffering. Darkness, and secrets lurking in the shadows.

Now I sat on my bed, duvet hanging over the side of the wooden frame and crumpled under my weight. My gaze, however, was fixed entirely on the contact page and number currently displayed on the screen of my phone.

Luke's number.

I dared not ask how Michael had managed to get hold of it, but thankfully he had and passed it on to me, since we did have a project that needed completing together. From the moment I had arrived home I was torn between whether to text him or not, he could react in any way possible. Not only was I sure he rarely received any messages, not unlike me, I also hadn't stuck around long enough earlier to know what Luke had chosen to do afterwards. He could have left, he could have stayed. As far as I was aware, he could be dead. He probably wouldn't even reply.

Somehow I ended up typing out a text, I would need to talk to him again at some point so why not now.

To: Luke

Hey Luke, it's Ashton. We need to talk :)

The message sent and I immediately found myself drowning in regret. I barely even knew him, he would probably think I was a creepy stalker for even having got his number. Yep, I guess I was a creepy stalker now. Although it wasn't like I could undo my action and take it back, so all I could do was wait and hope for a reply.

I must have been waiting for at least half an hour before my phone went off, so unexpected it scared the life out of me.

From: Luke

How did you get my number? What do you mean?

Only now did I realise how clever my decision to have texted him whilst alone was, for I was grinning like a complete idiot. It was simply impossible to cover, Luke Hemmings had actually texted me. Me, Ashton Irwin. How had that even happened? I was so caught up in the moment that I almost forgot to reply.

To: Luke

I got it off of a friend, I hope you don't mind. And we have a project due in soon, we should probably get started on it :)

He texted back much quicker this time, and I couldn't have been more happy.

From: Luke

Tomorrow at 10. My house.

Well, he certainly liked to keep things short and simple. Somehow I had forgotten that tomorrow was a Saturday and we had at least one day free from the hell called school, but I was quick to agree despite how suspicious the message had sounded.

To: Luke

Sounds good, where do you live? :)

Sighing loudly, I fell backwards onto my bed and lay there with arms spread wide. I willed myself to be patient and not pester Luke, but when he didn't reply it confused me. Did he think I already knew his address? It was as though he expected me to, presumably since he probably thought I was a stalker. Luke was so much more fascinating than I had once found him, our disappointingly short conversation had been so peculiar I was unsure on how to interpret it.

Where I had been friendly and used smiley faces where I saw appropriate, he had been blunt. For someone once so popular, it was rather obvious that he lacked human interaction. That was the one thing I had always wondered about him, whether he was happy. Although it was of his own accord to suddenly shut everyone out and destroy every relationship he had worked tirelessly to build, I wanted to know if he regretted it.

We've all made stupiud mistakes, and maybe it was just a phase but once started, impossible to change. From that one day onwards, Luke was different, and different isn't accepted anymore. Say he did wish it never happened, that his mind was constantly flickering between alternative outcomes and imagination running wild with possibilities of what his life could be right now, it still wouldn't change anything. Nothing would change anything, he was trapped.

Maybe Luke just needed a way out. A friend, perhaps. Maybe I could be that person, all I needed to achieve was reverse whatever had forced him to detatch from people. Teach him how to trust again, prove that some of us care and are willing to allow old scars to heal. Help them to heal. Maybe we could be more than friends.

Maybe that was crazy, but I guess I didn't even know what I wanted anymore.

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A/n: Hey everyone! So I go back to school on Thursday and I'm trying to update all my fics at least once before I go back whoop go me

Thanks! x