Missing You | Harvey Mills

21. matteo

It's been a few weeks since the fight. Everything seems to have calmed down a bit and gone back to normal.
But it's now December and the Christmas hype has begun.
Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and all, but buying presents will always be the death of me.
Squeezing through large crowds and waiting in long queues and having to sacrifice so much of your time and money all just gets a bit much sometimes.
But other than that it's great.

There seems to be some progress between Libby and James. He's finally noticed her after so many years and they actually talk sometimes.
As for Harvey and I, we avoid each other at all costs. We're not on bad terms or anything, but it's a bit weird and awkward between us. It's better than hating each other.

Our annual Secret Santa tradition has officially begun. This year, participants include: Libby, Cara, Dylan, Matteo, Max, Anthony, my close friends Maisie and Lilia, me and new addition, my brother, James.

During break, we all sit around in a circle in the hall. Libby, being the legend that she is, wrote down all our names and put them in Max's beanie for us to take out.
The beanie gets passed round the circle and I'm the last to pick.
I carefully draw a name out. It says Matteo.
Huh, this is going to be hard, I think to myself.
I inspect everyone's faces: James is frowning slightly, Max's is surprisingly neutral, Dylan doesn't look too happy but everyone else seems alright.
I look over to Matteo who is staring at his paper. He folds it up neatly and puts it in his trouser pocket. He looks up and we meet eye contact, but he breaks the connection first. His face is completely neutral.
I wonder who he has.

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21.2 winter walks

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🌲

"So who do you have?" Libby asks as we exit school.
"For the last time I'm not telling you Libby. It's called 'Secret Santa' for a reason," I say, fighting the urge to roll my eyes every time she asked.
"Whatever. I'll find out soon anyways. Bye Annie!" She says and skips away.
"Bye"
"Are you walking?" Max asks, appearing by my side.
"Yeah I am" I smile at him.
"Cool I am too"
We cross the road.
"Don't you have football practice?" I ask.
"I'm sick," he replies, and coughs fakely.
"Max you can't ditch football practice," I say sternly, stopping in the middle of the pavement.
"Just this one time Annie"
I roll my eyes and continue walking.
"Anyways, my mum wanted me to ask you if you'd like to have dinner with us. James and Freddie are invited too, and your mum if she can make it. We're having Dominoes"
I turn my head towards him. He raises his eyebrows in a hopeful way.
"If Harvey's there then no" I say firmly.
"Oh come on why not?" He whines.
"I don't want to see him, Max"
"Pleeeeaase?"
"No"
He sighs in defeat. There's a moments silence.
"I'll ask your mum"
My mum would definitely make me go.
I was about to respond when a voice calls out. "Max?"
We turn around simultaneously. It's Harvey.
"Don't you have football practice? Harvey asks.
"I don't feel that well" Max shrugs.
I feel an urge to carry on walking but Max knowingly grabs my wrist and squeezes it, as if telling me to stay put. I shake my hand out of his grip and wait for Harvey to catch up.
When he does it's painfully awkward despite Max's credible attempts at making conversation.

After the longest twenty minute walk of my life we finally reach my house.
"Still coming?" Max asks, a look of hope still etched on his face.
I shake my head. His face falls but he still smiles.
"Bye Annie," he says.
"Bye"
Harvey holds his hand up slightly, in an awkward but sweet gesture, and smiles. This is the first sign of acknowledgement I've had from him in a while. I smile back and disappear into my house.

i believe the secret santa thing was inspired by a riverdale episode 🧐

is that series still going? (crickets, tumbleweed)

C