Missing You | Harvey Mills

23. the seaside

We were walking along the beach, listening to the calming waves splashing against each other.
I gripped the lead of my grandma's Yorkshire terrier tightly in my hand.
Tutu trotted quietly on one side. My dad was humming on the left.
It was a cool and tranquil morning, the wind blowing gently through the air.
We walked in a comfortable silence together, enjoying the peace and sunrise. The reds and oranges filled the sky with serenity, forming a warm gradient across the skyline.

An annoying yapping interrupted the pretty scenery.
"What Tutu?" I asked impatiently.
She continued yapping and started chasing her tail.
I tugged at the lead and my father looked down at her with curiosity.

Suddenly, he put a hand to his heart and inhaled sharply.
"Dad?" I asked worridely.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said reassuringly, though I could see his face was contorted with pain.
Sometimes he felt pain in his chest but he never went to the doctors about it.
Tutu began growling.
"Be quiet Tutu!" I said sternly.
"Let's just carry on..." My father said breathlessly.
But before he could take one step he collapsed onto the ground.
"Dad?" I squeaked out, my voice barely audible.
He put his face near the sand and said, "Sweetheart, I think I'm having a heart attack"

The next few minutes were a blur.
I called out for help and a member of the public came running towards us.
His name was Jack and he happened to already be a paramedic. He performed cpr on my dad as I called an ambulance. Helplessly I watched him, not knowing what to do, wishing I could help.

I held Tutu in my arms as they arrived. I couldn't watched as the paramedic put the defibrillator on his chest and shocked him. My heart was racing but I couldn't imagine what it felt like for dad.
There was an oxygen mask on his face, a needle sticking out his arm and his eyes were closed.
Jack performed more cpr but his eyes stayed closed as they escorted him onto a stretcher.

"I love you dad," I whispered into Tutu's fur.

-

23.2. the funeral

-

💙

I knocked on James's door.
"Are you ready?" I asked, peering into his room.
James was dressed up in a black suit and tie and his hair was brushed down.
"I guess," he shrugged, pulling up his tie.
"Ready?" Mum asked, entering the room. We nodded and forced a smile.

The drive to the church was painfully long and the ceremony too. It was only when we got to the funeral reception that I felt I could finally breathe.

After talking to some acquaintances of my dad's and getting a drink, I sat down on a chair. I was tired and it had been a long and exhausting day.
After attempting to flatten a crease in my skirt, I felt someone sit down next to me.
"Hey" Max said, with a small smile.
He was wearing a normal suit and tie and his usual messy hair.
"Hey"
"You okay?"
"I've been better" I shrug, looking away.
"Hey," he said, leaning in to make me look at him. "You know I'm always here for you right?"
"I know," I said and smiled at him.
Across the hall I made eye contact with Harvey, who gave me a brief nod before turning around. This was the only time he had even been moderately decent to me- my dad's funeral of all places.
"Harvey'll come round eventually..." Max said, noticing Harvey and I. " wanna get some air?"
"Sure"

We went outside to the dark, cold December night.
I wrapped my arms around myself as I felt a chilly breeze sweep through the air.
A few seconds later, Max put his jacket around my shoulders quickly before I could object.
"Thanks," I muttered and pulled it tighter against me as another wind swept by- the warmness covered me like a blanket.
"You're welcome," he smiled almost cheekily and I couldn't help but smile too.

There was a short silence as we realised the situation and place we were in once again.
"I'm sorry about your dad" Max finally spoke.
"Well it's not your fault is it?"
"I know. I mean I am kind of obliged to say it aren't I? But I am sorry. Annie. I can't imagine what you're going through "
"Thank you Max"
Another silence.

Slowly, raindrops started to fall down, like tears from the clouds, onto the church and us.

"Should we go back inside?" He asked.
"No let's stay for a while. I like the rain"
Max nodded and held his jacket over the two of us. We squished together under his blazer beneath the pattering rain, so close I could feel the heat radiating off of him. I began to feel dizzy- something was wrong.
"I'm always here for you Annie, okay? If you ever need me, I'm here. You don't have to tell me everything but please don't keep stuff from me, or start distancing yourself away from me because..."
His words began to drown away as the sound of heavy rain and his beating heart became louder still. My eyes got heavy and my vision blurred.
"Max..." I found myself whispering.
Max had stopped talking and was beginning to lean into me, closer and closer... no... not now...

-

I woke up with a start. Today marked the two year anniversary my dad's passing.

last one!!

what is going on 😟 slightly traumatic chapter🎀 also i have no idea what having a heart attack is really like nor have i ever been to a funeral 😭😭😭

sorry this had to end on such a cliffhanger 😫 and thank you to everyone who has ever supported me and my shitty teenage writing and fantasies! (literally no one cares) wattpad used to be such a big part of my life and i am so appreciative of the memories <3

hope you enjoyed!

C