What is there to write about anymore?
You want me to tell you I still think about her?
because I do. And you know what?
It's been so fucking long
and I've been with some different people
but none of them were anything like her.
I wish I could move on
and finally stop thinking about her
because she was the one who broke my heart
and made me give up on love completely.
Now I can't even function correctly
and I can't get a grip on reality.
What is reality anyway?
My whole life? It doesn't seem that way.
I shouldn't have even put on this earth.
There is no purpose for me being alive
because all I'll be is alone and forgotten.
My dream, my only dream, is laughed at
and I don't believe it will ever happen
because I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time,
living the wrong fucking life.
My dream is all I want in my life,
if it won't happen then why should I live?
What the fuck should I do?
Do I need to stand in the middle of the highway?
Do I need to just jump off a building?
There's room for failure in those choices,
then again there's room for failure in every method.
Well let's just rant for a while, shall we?
I hope you're reading this, I really do.
I still love you. With all my stupid, broken heart.
I can't stop thinking about you
and remembering all the good times we had.
Why are you in a relationship with this guy?
He lives out of state, you've seen him four times.
I fucking hate how I can't stop thinking.
I'm sitting in my boxers doing homework
because I'm just a fucking lunatic. Ha ha.
Obviously I'm not doing my homework, though,
because you're all over my fucking mind.
I was reading the notes you wrote me
in freshman year, remember those days?
My feelings for you haven't changed since then,
they've just been ignored until now
because now they're just puring out
and I can't stop this hectic flow.
It's like my mind is all jumbled,
all my thoughts, my desires, my feelings,
my wants, my needs, my fears,
they're all circulating around one thing.
You. And this jumbled mess