anxiety.

thirty-three.

"now i bear little resemblance to the king i once was. i bear little resemblance to the king i have become."

mason.

breaking up with girls was easy when you've had a lot of practice. there was amber in year six, daisy in year eight, stella in year nine... why did it feel different this time? part of me was screaming that it was because i fell in love with her for real this time. the other part condemned me because scarlett westfield is a cheating whore.

i don't understand how she could kiss someone else after all i've done for her. i used to tell her the 'world is yours' yet she crumbled the small portion i had in it. i tried to give her the fantasy she deserved. i tried to relieve her pain, to take her to her dream location, and to care for her in a way that i know no one else in her life has before. above all, her boy of choice was andrew comiter. andrew was a pig, a fuckboy, a self-absorbed jerk who had no respect for women. i thought she would be able to see right through him. i thought she'd know better, especially because i warned her to stay away from him.

following the moments after we broke up in the hallway, i stormed into my first period classroom and slumped down in my desk. i felt the burn of the class's eyes staring me down, waiting for something to happen. even i found myself waiting to see what scarlett would do but she never came. i never saw her for the rest of the day. fuck, i don't even know why i care what scarlett does. she's not my girlfriend anymore.

"what are you all staring at?" i angrily shouted at the kids in the class, making them all immediately divert their gaze away from me.

mrs. abbott walked in seconds later and i thanked the gods for her not witnessing my outburst. she most likely would've sent me to the head mistress's office, that's the last thing i needed today. administration wasn't too fond of me after the fight i had with andrew. my hand curled into a fist thinking about andrew again, nails pressing so hard into my palm that i left a mark. i exhaled a little too loudly, just trying to figure out how to blow off this steam. my head was not in the right place right now. there was no chance i could focus on whatever boring lesson she was attempting to teach.

maybe i should leave early for the day, but then what would that say about me? that i couldn't handle a little school wide attention? i let them witness me beat andrew into a pulp, but couldn't bare them watching me end scarlett and i's relationship? i shook my head. please, this was all nonsense. i was tougher than that and i'll prove it too.

i suffered through the rest of the day at school, drifting off in almost every class. the ending of the day meant i had to go pick up skylar from junior high and take us home. i was in no mood to deal with her right now and if she brought up anything about our relationship, i knew i'd lose it on her too. i bet she doesn't even know that we broke up, but at the same time people were definitely recording and i wouldn't be surprised if it got back to her somehow. i hoped that it wouldn't cause her any trouble to be the little sister of the football player who couldn't get control of his emotions. i really lost it on her.

the air conditioning of my car rumbled while i sat and waited for skylar to walk towards it. her hand tugged on the handle to let herself in. the first few words that came out of her mouth were the ones i was dreading the most, "why did you break up with scarlett?"

she was so nosy. my jaw tightened, "that's none of your business."

"how is that none of my business? you integrated scarlett into my life too, not just yours! she's the first girlfriend of yours that i actually like, i deserve to know." she argued.

"scarlett is a whore!" i spat ruthlessly.

"she is not!" skylar defended. "you were a complete jerk in that video mason! what you did was wrong, you embarrassed her in front of everyone. you really think scarlett would cheat on you...? since when do you become such an asshole?"