anxiety.

thirty-six.

"i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best. i promise i'll do better."

scarlett.

my body turned back around to face connor, catching a glimpse of skepticism, but also hope in his eyes. i chose to ignore both looks and pulled us to the side to quietly talk, "um connor, do you think you could leave us alone for a moment?"

"no." he responded in a bold seriousness that took me aback for a split second.

"connor." i whined.

"scar, i'm not leaving you alone with him. what if something bad happens or you need me to take you away from him?" he questioned with small flailing arms.

"fine." i gave in, only because he was being rational this time. "can you at least just wait outside?"

he rolled his eyes, but agreed. skylar's body slumped over as mason gave her a similar speech about respecting his privacy and giving him space to talk to me right now. she sadly removed her phone out of the back pocket of her denim trousers to dial dr. kersey's number, most likely to have him come pick her up. after all, it was friday and he had promised her a weekend stay. connor and skylar exited the doors of the shop together letting the chimes on the door sing another song.

i found myself trying to distract my wandering mind by glancing at various sections of the shop while mason and i waited on line. a waitress with curly blonde hair began to clean the table that connor and i previously sat at, placing our almost full frappes on a serving platter to take back into the kitchen. my lips slightly parted and formed into a frown as i thought i still wanted that frappe. despite my distracted state, i inched forward in the line not realizing we had reached the counter.

"do you want anything?" mason asked me, placing a hand on my back. i refrained myself from squirming under his touch because above the uncomfortableness that lingered on the surface, i missed the feeling of his soft hands and gentle touches.

a loose piece of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail dangled in front of my vision as i spoke, "no, i'm okay."

he turned his full attention to me, almost bewildered at my answer. "what? are you sure?"

my anxiety accelerated as we held up the remainder of the line and the worker waited for us to complete the order. my answer unintentionally came out rushed and aggravated, "mason! i'm fine!"

he responded to the cashier instead of me, "no, that's going to be all. thank you."

he kept his hand on my back as we searched for an empty table. his lack of response to my rude outburst told me that he understood my frustration and his patience with me was growing again. i let him pull the chair away from the table so that i could sit, hoping that allowing him to be chivalrous would relieve the tension between us.

"scarlett." he breathed out, placing his elbows on the table and pinching the bridge of his nose. "i need you to communicate with me baby. tell me what you've been feeling since the fight, all of your frustrations and worries. i need to know how to make it right, what to fix for the future, how to mend our relationship..."

my hands trembled in my lap; my mind raced with wild thoughts of the breakdown of my mental state in the past weeks. no words came to surface to describe the state, no thoughts of where to begin, even though i had too much to say. i tried so desperately to not repeat the words i've said oh so many times before. but it seemed that these words were all i had and all i could utter, "you hurt me."

"i know." he gulped. "but as much as i apologize, that's not going to change and you're still going to feel that way. i'm not going to lie and say that i never meant to hurt you because while that may be true, i should've been smarter than to yell at you in front of the whole school."