anxiety.

eighteen.

"if brokenness is a form of art, i must be a poster child prodigy."

skylar.

i decided to ride home with mason and scarlett instead of my dad. i sat very silently in the backseat, observing everything around me. it was another rainy night in london. the soft pitter-patter of the rain created a calm environment and scarlett and mason sang along to music with each other. they're so in love, it's kind of gross. but i hope one day that i have a love that great too.

mason promised me that after we took scarlett home we could talk. days started to seem extra long once again and i didn't know where i was heading. it started to worry me a bit.

the night sky was dull, not even the moon coming out to the play. strong wind blew as i stepped out from mason's car, making me shiver. i hugged my coat tighter to my body as i walked through our warm front doors. the house smelled faintly of cinnamon, probably from all the candles my mom has recently been obsessed with burning. i stopped in the kitchen for a little bit to make myself a cup of tea. mason and i agreed that when i was ready, he would wait for me in his room.

the tea kettle whistled, signaling it had finished boiling. i added two teaspoons of sugar and one tablespoon of honey. the perfect way to drink it. the piping hot cup helped warm my cold body up faster. i quickly shuffled up the stairs into my room. i needed to change out of these jeans. i threw on an old pair of fluffy pajama pants and a hoodie.

i knocked before slowly opening mason's door a crack. he was laying on his bed on his phone. now that i knew he wasn't naked, i fully opened the door and shut it gently, careful to not make a loud noise. i hadn't even reached his bed before tears started streaming down my face. i collapsed right in the middle of the floor between his bed and the door. this made mason spring off his bed, immediately running over to me. i felt him place his large hand on my back,

"woah sky, love, what's the matter?" he sounded panicked. i shook my head as my tears continued to hit the wood floor. mason wrapped his fingers around my chin and lifted my head up to meet his. his thumb wiped away a falling tear from my eye, causing me to pull my head back and whimper. confusion immediately washed over his face. i realized my concealer must be washing off.  i sprung up and ran to mason's bathroom quickly shutting the door and locking it.

i heard mason's footsteps approaching his door. he loudly banged on the frame. " sky? is everything alright?" the door handle jingled as mason tried to press on it.

i started to panic myself, he can't see my black eye. he'll freak out on me! worse, he might tell my mom and dad. i wouldn't want to worry him or them. i turned to the mirror above the sink to see that almost all the concealer is gone, revealing my bruised eye.

"sky, i can hear your heavy breathing love. please come out, whatever your hiding, i'll find out eventually. please open the door, i only want to help you." mason pleaded with desperation heavy in his voice.

i let out a shaky sigh before slowly opening the door to reveal my ugly, inflamed eye. his jaw dropped to the floor as his eyes increased ten times in size. he grabbed my hand, leading me to the countertop next to the sink. he basically lifted me up there, almost like i weighed nothing.

"what in the world happened?" he asked softly.  his hands rested on either side of me and he leaned forward a bit. his eyes searched for answers in mine.

"there were these kids at my school and..." i breathed out. he nodded, encouraging me to continue but i can't and i break down into more tears. mason immediately pulled me into a hug. my eye throbbed as warm tears came across it. a singular but nasty cut ran through the swollen mess.