Addicted

part twenty three

mature content.

last chapter.

play this song (if you want):
F U Till I F U feat Cass by Call Me Karizma

selena's pov.
unedited.

let's just say.. thing have gotten bad again. with grayson.

i really thought we were working everything out, that he changed. i guess people just don't change.

it's been two months.

and it's been the worst two months of my life.

grayson makes me feel lower than him. like he's better than me. in every way.

whenever i bring something up that's bothering me, he shuts it down as if it's stupid.

i feel like.. i hate him. all over again.

so now we're sitting in my room, all over again. me debating on if i should breakup with him, or try try again.

but i know i have to. there's no reason not to.

except, when we're happy.

we're really fucking happy.

my lamp flew off my dresser, grayson pushed it off just because he's angry.

i just broke the news to him.

he stormed out of my room, and as far as i could hear out of my house.

as soon as i knew he left i let myself cry.

as toxic as my relationship was with grayson, i loved him. even when i wasn't in love with him, i loved him. before we started dating we were bestfriends.

we're never gonna have that again.

i woke up with my arm shaking, i assumed it was my mom and just turned the other way, pulling the blanket over my shoulder.

"sel it's me i wanna talk." ethan said, his hand back on my arm. i felt the mattress sink a little, meaning he sat down next to me.

i turned back around and wrapped my arms around his torso.

"don't get snot on my shirt." he said, rubbing my back. i laughed and sat up to talk since that was the reason he came over.

"what's up?"

"grayson came home angry, you guys broke up."

i laughed, not because it was funny but because ethan was the one who told me not to go back to him. "it took us breaking up for you to acknowledge my existence huh?"

"sel-"

"it's okay. i'm an idiot. he just knows how to get under my skin. i'm sorry."

"it's okay."

"is that all you wanted to talk about?"

he looks like he's contemplating something when he placed his hand against my cheek and played with my hair, "just wanted to make sure you were okay."

i smiled and went to hug him again but he had a different idea when his hand wrapped around my thigh and pulled me to sit on his lap.

"that was smooth." i compliment, feeling his hand move from the back of my thigh to my butt.

"ethan?"

he look deadly concentrated on my eyes, his hand moving up against my back and under my tank top, picking at my bra.

"what're you doing?"

my bra was unclipped in a matter of seconds. i started to get uncomfortable at the eye contact, because no matter what his hands were doing, his eyes were just on mine.

and not anywhere else on my face.

"ethan are you okay?"

his hand moved to the front of my shirt and pulled at the collar, bringing me forward to him, i thought he was going to kiss me when he redirected my head so that it was in the crook of his neck, when he whispered something into my ear. "just say stop if you want me to stop."

his hands roam down to the waistband of my sweatpants, pulling them down my legs.

i didn't want it to stop.

one of his hands started to rub me through my underwear, his other hand pulling my head by my hair, my mouth hung open as his fingers press against my clit. we just stare at each other.

"ethan."

he pushed my head forward and kissed me, the way he was taking control turned me on, it was like something weird came over him.

his lips move against mine, his middle finger moving my underwear to the side, his thumb keeping it to the side as he pushed his middle finger against my entrance, my mouth opening wide against his. his tongue pushing inside of my mouth and sucking against mine.

the intimate moments just made me more turned on, my hands moving down to unbutton his jeans, pulling down the zipper as he focuses on kissing me.

then a million thoughts came rushing to my head, i like ethan.

i've always had an interest in him, but my feelings for grayson overpowered them.

ethans the only one who's been there for me, always.

i don't like ethan.

i love him.

"ethan stop."

he stops as soon as i said to, "what's wrong?"

"i need you."

"i thought that's what we were doing."

"ethan."

his right eyebrow raised, "what do you mean?"

"i love you." i tell him. my hands moving away from his pants and to myself.

he looks flustered.

i didn't expect him to feel the same, but i couldn't just fuck him and be sad about it later.

"selena-"

"i know." i throw my head into my hands, his hands wrapping around my wrists as he pulls them away from me and onto the sides of his face.

he kisses me but i don't kiss him back, he pulls away confused, "i've loved you since we were kids."

my lips part, "what?"

he flips me onto my back, pulling off my sweats from my ankles, and pulling his pants down, "ethan-"

his hands wrap around my waist, leaning down to kiss me again, and i kissed him back, looking at his lust filled eyes.

"i'll show you how much i love you, if you let me."

i nod, kissing him again.

i felt him slide into me, his mouth hung wide open against my cheek.

the end.