A Cut Above

1.3 - Shameful

[Beatrice Prior]

My mother sits next to me, admiring the roses Eric left. Caleb supposedly left with Tobias. My father sleeps in the chair next to us, sleeping peacefully.

" It was nice of Eric to leave these for you. " She says.

I sigh, crossing my arms.

It's the least he could do. I've only been in the hospital for the last month.

" Yeah, it was. " I say.

I can't tell her the truth about everything that I've gone through with Eric. A little over two years ago, when Tobias and I ended things, I started dating Eric. At first, he really loved me. Then everything went downhill from there. He was abusive. He tried to rape me and tried to kill me. I went to work and my classes with black and blue skin. Purple eyes. It was awful. Yet, I was in such a bad state of mind, that I thought it was because he loved me. Then, one day, we were at a cafe, drinking coffee and talking. I was good at faking. I could make anyone think that we were really happy. Everyone except for him. He was there. And he saw me. And I realized then that Eric didn't love me. He was using me. Tobias never used me. We were happy. That day, that evening actually, I wrote down all of the emotions into a small stanza that I wished I could tell him. I told him of how I saw him and the memories came flooding into my mind and how they flooded my mind and spilled out of my eyes. I wrote of how I was writing in the crawl space of Eric's apartment. I wrote of the memories of sitting together in my crawlspace lat at night, just holding hands and kissing, and talking. I wrote of how I was drowning in my emotions. I wrote of how I realized then that I didn't need water to drown. All I needed was him. And no matter how hard I wished I could be with Tobias again, I knew it wouldn't happen. But now... Now that we've both realized what we want from each other. What we need to be whole again. Maybe, just maybe I can finally leave Eric.

" Where is Caleb? You told me that he left with Tobias, but it seems like he should be back by now. " I say.

My mother nods.

" He called and said he wouldn't be back until Tobias came back later tonight. " She says.

I nod.

" I miss him. " I whisper.

She smiles.

" It's sweet that you miss your brother. " She says.

I shake my head.

" Not him. I mean, yes I do miss Caleb. But I was referring to Tobias. I miss Tobias. " I say.

She smiles.

" Me too. He's been my most favorite man you've ever met. He's so proper and polite. Not to mention Handsome. Especially in the uniform of his. " She says.

My cheeks feel warm. My mother just called my ex-boyfriend Hot. In front of me.

" Mom! " I exclaim.

She chuckles, sighing.

" I'm glad you're back, Bea. " She says, kissing my hand.

I sigh. I am too, but I'm also scared. The whole time I was in that coma, I was safe from Eric. Now that I'm awake, Eric can do whatever he wants. He can do anything he wants. As soon as I'm out of this hospital, it's back to black and blue skin. Back to violet-tinted eyes. Split lips and tear-stained pillowcases. Navy Blue notebooks labeled "Work Demographics" that are really filled with love letters to another man. A journal tucked under the mattress that is filled with confessions and suicide contemplations. Then realizations of how stupid that would be. I fought with myself mentally of if I just ran away and staged my death what Eric would do. But all the outcomes were the same;

Find me and make me pay.

Hours pass by, and my family leaves to go to the Hotel. And it's just me and Tobias again.

" Why did you say that? Why would you say that? " He asks.

I remember what I told him. How I asked him to kill me. How I made him feel obligated to do so even though I knew he wouldn't do it. Especially after Benjamin.

" I told you; You don't, he will. " I say.

He shakes his head.

" Then I'll make sure he goes away for a long time. " He says.

I shake my head.

" It won't work. You know that. " I say.

He nods. A nurse walks in, sighing.

" Sorry, officer. I've gotta let the lady sleep. " She says.

He nods.

" I'll be out in a minute. " He says.

She nods in return, leaving.

" You should probably leave. You wouldn't want to get in trouble. " I say.

He shakes his head.

" I don't care about that. " He says.

He brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear, kissing my temple softly. The stubble on his chin grazes against my skin causing shivers to travel up and down my back.

" I'll see you later, Tris. " He says.

I nod.

" Bye, Tobias. Sleep well. " I say.

He smiles.

" You too. " He says.

He leaves, and I'm all by myself. The door opens, and I assume it's the nurse. The curtain opens and it's Eric.

"Why was he here?"

[Tobias Eaton]

Kissing Tris, even on the forehead, brings back good memories. Memories I thought I'd never think of again. I walk down to the lobby, walking past the check-in desk, waving goodbye.

" See you tomorrow. " I say.

They nod back in return.

" Not too soon, I'd hope. " One says.

I chuckle. I leave the hospital, walking to my car. It's almost 11. It's crazy how fast time flies when I'm around Tris.

Code Silver. I repeat; We have a code Silver.

I turn around, looking back at the hospital.

'A Code Silver has just been reported at the Chicago Hospital. Gun threat in Progress.'

I told you this would happen.
I blame myself.
Don't.
Why not?
Because I'm the one who got involved in this. It's not your fault.
But it is.