My self image

Chapter 8

It's really early in the morning, me and Riley are sitting next to each other in the school bus. My dad normally drives me and my some of my siblings to school but today he had an appointment with some guy from his old job, so we had to take the bus. I don't mind taking the bus, it keeps my dad from asking nosy questions. I had the same nightmare last night, I figured out that I keep waking up right before the voice wants to tell me something but I can't figure out what it was yet. 'Look at this!' I get disturbed by Riley showing me a picture of a drawing. 'I made this yesterday when I was sick, do you like it?' She looks at me with excitement. 'Yeah it's really good, have you been practicing?' The drawing was an angel with long dark hair but her face expression was depressed, it looked beautiful anyway. 'Yes I have, I almost had the entire day yesterday to practice haha.' Riley said, I noticed she looked incredibly happy for some reason. 'Well Riley, I saw a picture of you and Maggie yesterday, did she came by?' I felt my heart beat going so fast and I don't even know why. 'Oh right! Yep she did, it was a surprise to me and she only stayed for 30 minutes or so but it was really nice. I heard you were sick too yesterday, are you okay now?' And she put her hand on my shoulder. 'I'm fine, thanks for asking haha.' That moment I actually felt loved again, that "fake friends" thought was actually gone for a moment because we are true friends, why else would we be friends for so long?

In art class we were learning how to draw realistic human body shapes and Riley and I were joking around a bit. My mom and dad are both great artists so I learned how to draw humans years ago and I taught Riley to draw like that too already. As everyone was struggling with shapes we were halfway finished, drawing is the only thing I can do well and actually like. 'Should I draw another angel? Or maybe something else?' Riley asked me. 'Well you've drawn an angel already, how about just drawing a regular person.' I think with drawing you should draw things over and over to improve them but Riley has been drawing angels for two years now and drawing is also about being creative and diverse. 'I guess I could try, it's basically an angel without wings or halo.' Riley said and she starts sketching. 'Ril? Before you start, I have a question and I wasn't sure if I should ask it.' My hands start feeling sweaty and my heartbeat raises. 'Ask please, you can always ask everything. Riley looks worried and surprised at the same time. 'Well, I saw a picture on Maggie's account where Katie, Francis, McKenzie ánd you, while I thought you didn't really hang out with Katie and Francis anymore.' I look at Riley and she looks back at me and we silently stare at each other, it feels like hours have past but in fact only a few seconds have past and than Riley answers. 'Oh that's weird, can I see the picture?' I grab my phone out of bag and look around if the teacher pays attention because you're not allowed to use your phone during the lesson. I open Instagram and search for Maggie's account. 'I believe her username is: Maggie_x_sunshine, I press her account and the picture is on the very top of her page. 'This one, this is the one!' I point at the picture, then I suddenly see Riley grin. 'What's the matter?' I ask her. 'That's a picture from a year ago, look!' She points at herself. 'In there I still have my braces and my hair is a little shorter as well. I swear I don't hang out with them anymore, I only hang out with Maggie and McKenzie sometimes.' I can't help feeling kinda relieved, I don't even know why, I don't have anything against Katie or Francis or those other girls that I saw in the picture. However I'm glad she doesn't hang out with them.