My self image

Chapter 9

"Fake friends" "fake friends" "Riley lies to you" "you are dumb to think she likes you" "for real?! You became even uglier today" "stupid" "ugly" "fat" "you deserve NOTHING" "please leave" "why don't you just d- 'STOP!!' A voice calls, I'm relieved, I must be awake now but no, I'm not. That can't be, who's that voice?? I want to scream and cry but I can't, which makes me even more scared. 'Don't worry, don't be afraid, I'm here for you. The voice sounds like the voice that's been putting those negative thoughts in my head but somehow I wasn't afraid or angry, I felt comfortable with the voice. 'I'm here to help you, I'm going to make sure you'll be the best of yourself.' The voice says. That didn't sound too bad in my ears. 'But you don't know me, how do you know what I need?' I ask. 'I know you better than you know yourself, think of me as your best friend if you'd like.' The voice tells me. 'Well can I know your name than? If you're really my best friend.' I ask the voice. 'I'm not sure if I have a real name but most people call me Ana.' The voice answers. 'Ana? Okay, I'll call you Ana than.' I say. 'I'll be the voice in your head, your advice, your teacher but on top of all I'll be your bff.' Ana says. That actually sounded perfect. 'Will this end all my misery?' I ask Ana. 'It sure will, if you just do everything I say, you'll be the perfect girl.' Ana says.

My alarm goes, I get up and turn it off. I'm yet again covered in sweat and my hands feel cold but I feel fine, since I know about Ana, who'll help how to be perfect. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door, I look in the mirror and I see the ugly, white ghost that I saw yesterday and the day before. "You look like a ghost" I hear in my head, that must be Ana. 'Ana?' I whisper. "Don't worry it's me." Ana says. 'Phew' I'm relieved, this wasn't a just a dream, this was a dream that was gonna be reality soon. The breakfast table was filled with food which is logical since we have large family. My dad comes near me with a pan which has two baked eggs in it, he puts the eggs on my plate and fills my glass with orange juice. 'Enjoy!' He says and goes back to the kitchen to bake more eggs. Just as I want to cut my eggs and take a bite Ana disturbs. "You know those eggs are filled with calories and that makes you fat, don't eat it if you want to be perfect." I know Ana said I needed to do exactly what she said. 'But what can I eat? I'm pretty hungry.' I whisper. "Throw this junk in the trash and take an apple on your way to school, you know the less you eat the better." Ana says. I don't know how but it made sense, so I walked up to dad and told him I wasn't hungry and he'd better give it to someone else. 'Okay.' He said. 'But at least eat something, just something small.' He says. 'Sure, I'll take an apple for on our way to school.' I answer. "That's how you do that." Ana says. "If you keep this up we'll work our way to the perfect  girl." I feel happy, if this will work I never have to be insecure again.