Without You

Chapter 15

It's been a few days and Lena hasn't heard from Kara since their talk, she's worried. After what happened last time Lena assumes the worst. She's left Kara messages, probably too many, but each one unanswered only makes her worry more. There's a voice in the back of her mind, which she tries to drown out, that says Kara's avoiding her because of their last conversation. Because she knows how Lena really feels about her.
———-
Kara's been stuck in the DEO for the past two days. After an incident with a rouge alien left her slightly injured, Alex and J'onn insisted she stayed until she was recovered. Neither Kara nor Kenna were happy about that, as they tend to get board easily.
When they're finally allowed to leave and Kara gets her phone back she finds it full of messages. Seven texts and two voice mails, all from Lena. "No, no, no. She's probably so worried!" Kara mumbles as she immediately dials her best friend. There's no answer, so Kara decides to just stop by LCorp after she drops Kenna off at daycare. Kenna is more than happy to be going, anything but the DEO is beyond exciting to her right now.
———-
At LCorp Lena is in her office doing paperwork when suddenly the door bursts open. Lena looks up startled, and sees Kara standing there with a guilty looking smile. "Lena! I had a bit of an emergency, sorry I couldn't get back to you!" Kara says quickly, nearly out of breath.
"That's alright," Lena stands, "as long as you're okay?" She says with concern. 
"Yeah it's no big deal. Just a small injury, then I had to lay low for a few days." Kara explains as Lena makes her way across the room. Lena pulls her into a hug as she reaches her.
"What about Kenna?" She asks gently.
"Oh she stays with someone at the DEO when these things happen."
"Oh good, if you ever need her to stay with me again I'd be happy to help." Lena offers genuinely.
"Thanks Lena I appreciate that, she does tend to get board of the DEO."
"I'm glad you're okay," Lena says softly.
They're both quiet for a minute, just taking each other in.
"So, are you too busy to have lunch?" Kara finally breaks the silence.
"No, not at all," Lena lies, "I just have to make a quick call then I'll meet you in the lobby?"
Kara nods and walks out the door. Lena picks up the phone and calls Jess, "I'm going to need you to push back my next meeting by half an hour, something's come up. Thank you Jess." Lena feels a little guilty as she leaves her office, but it's not like she's completely missing the meeting, and besides, Kara just came back from a dangerous situation.
———-
"So Kenna's been begging me to have you over so we can make cookies." Kara says at lunch as they're waiting to order.
"That sounds like fun, I'd love to!"
"Great! How about Saturday night?" Lena agrees just as the waiter comes by.
"What have you been up to these past few days?" Kara asks once he leaves.
"Oh not much..." 'just worrying about you.' She can't say it out loud, "works been nuts as always, though I did manage to join a soul cycle class," she says instead.
"Oh, I've always wanted to try that!" Kara says excitedly.
"Really? It's actually kind of fun, you should come with me next time," Lena suggests.
They leave lunch with plans to bake cookies on Saturday and to go to Lena's class on Wednesday, as well as a promise to do lunch more often.
————
Kara calls Lena Saturday night just before she's supposed to come over.
"Hey Lena could you bring some flour with you when you come?"
"Kara that's like the main ingredient!" Lena laughs.
"Yeah I know, I thought I still had stuff!" Kara says in protest. "Oh and eggs too please!"
"Now you're just using me for ingredients!" Lena says dramatically.
"Yes that's my one and only intention. Also you have to do most of the baking, me and Kenna aren't very good at it yet," Kara says not even trying to be serious this time. Now they're both laughing.
"I'll see you soon," Lena hangs up with a smile.
————
Later, Kara opens the door to the most casual version of Lena she's ever seen. Lena's wearing a hoodie and her hair is half falling out of a messy bun. Kara can't help but think she looks perfect like this. Kenna comes running from the other room yelling "Lena! Lena! Time for cookies!" At this Kara and Lena seem to realize that they've just been starring at each other in silence.
"Hi! Lena!" Kara manages to spit out. "Come on in." She says stepping back from the doorway. They make their way to the kitchen. Kenna hops up onto a step stool so she can reach the counter. Kara gets out the recipe as Lena washes her hands.
Kara, to Lena's surprise, immediately takes charge of things. "Okay Lena you crack these eggs, and Kenna can you fill these up with chocolate chips?" Kara says handing Kenna two measuring cups. The process goes surprisingly well, Kara ends up being the messiest, getting flour on her face and in her hair. Lena can't help but laugh as she wipes some of it off her cheek. Lena's hand lingers, and for a moment their both frozen in the moment. Kenna accidentally knocks a cup off the counter, it lands with a clatter that startles Kara and Lena appart.
———
As Kenna's watching the oven waiting for the cookies to be done, Kara and Lena are cleaning up the dishes.
"I thought you weren't good at baking?" Lena says teasingly.
"Well if I have a recipe I can do it, but usually I forget to set a timer so I burn things." Kara says sheepishly.
"Well you did a great job tonight,"
"It helps when you have someone to impress," Kara blushes, she hadn't meant to say that out loud. Lena ducks her head and smiles as she turns back to the soapy water. The timer goes off and Kenna can barely hold her excitement. She puts on a pout when Kara tells her that they have to wait until the cookies are cool to eat them. They manage to distract her for a bit by putting the next batch in the oven.

"Kenna do you want to watch a movie tonight?" Kara asks as they're eating the finally cooled cookies.
"Yes please! Can we watch Up?!"
"Of course we can! Lena have you ever seen it?"
"I've never even heard of it."
"You'll love Doug! He's a cute puppy that says funny things." Kenna tells her.
"A talking dog huh?" Lena looks at Kara giving her the look that adults do when kids say something ridiculous, but Kara is nearly as excited as Kenna.
Kenna insists on sitting on the floor with the cat and a huge pile of blankets. "I wish you could talk like Doug," She says to the cat as they settle into the blanket mound. Kara and Lena are sitting comfortably on the couch, Lena is still skeptical of the movie, cartoons aren't really her thing, so she stays quiet. Kenna falls asleep a few minutes in.
Within a few more minutes Lena's crying quietly and trying, unsuccessfully, to hide it. Kara, who's also crying, notices and pulls Lena into a side hug.
"How is this a kids movie?" Lena asks wiping the tears from her eyes. Kara just laughs through tears of her own.
They stay cuddled together and turn back to the movie but they're both a little distracted. They both keep stealing glances when the other isn't looking. Eventually they forget about the movie and start talking softly.
"This is nice, I've been so stressed and busy lately," Lena admits.
"You work too much," Kara says gently.
"I'm actually looking for a CFO right now to help lighten the load a little bit."
"Good for you, I hope that works out."
"Me too." Lena says with a small smile.  "Sometimes I wish I had someone to help me out with Supergirl things." Lena looks at her encouragingly. "I just worry sometimes about being a mom and Supergirl," she admits "because if anything happened to me..."
"It won't," Lena says firmly. 
"look at what just happened the other day. And what about the time before that?" Kara hasn't expressed these fears to anyone, not even Alex. "I don't want to leave Kenna like that. What will happen to her?"
"You've got a great family that will look after her." Lena says, putting her hand over Kara's.
"I'm torn, I want to quit, I should quit. I have to put Kenna first.. but the city needs me." Kara says a note of desperation in her voice.
"I mean this in the nicest way," Lena starts, "but the city got along fine before you, it will be okay without you."
"You do have a point..." Kara agrees. "If something ever does happen to me... promise you'll make sure she's looked after?"
"I promise." Lena says hugging her tighter. They fall back into silence for a few minutes and turn back to the Movie.
Kara aims for lighter conversation as she says, "I think Alex and Maggie are going to get engaged soon,"
"Really? That's great!" Lena says excitedly. "How long have they been together?"
"Not even a year, but they seem so happy."
"I'm really happy for them, let me know if anything happens."
"What about you? Do you have your eye on any girls?" Kara knows it's the wrong thing to say, for so many reasons, before she even finishes speaking.
"Kind of, but I don't think she's into me like that..." a look of sadness crosses her face.
"I know how that feels." Kara says with an expression that's all too similar. They turn back to the movie still cuddled together in a half side hug.

They've been quite for a while now, the movie is almost over. Kara finally works up the courage to really talk to Lena. "Hey Lena?" Kara says shifting towards her. "There's something-" Kara stops as she notices that Lena's eyes are closed. She looks so peaceful in sleep that Kara can't disturb her. 'It's probably for the best,' Kara tries to convince herself, 'we're just friends. And she likes someone else.' Kara tries to focus on the rest of the movie, but before long she's falling asleep too.