Lost • Taekook •

19

9 days adrift

i'm startled awake by a sudden loud growling noise, causing me to knock my head against the ledge where taehyung is lying.

the growling noise sounds again and i realize it's coming from my stomach.

"kookie," taehyung's voice comes out raspy and weak. "you need to eat."

i look around the boat, my eyes half-lidded, surveying all the empty cans and bottles.

"b-but we don't have any food left."

"then catch something."

my throat goes dry, drier than it already is, and i shake my head violently, making me feel dizzy.

"you know i can't do that," i say desperately. "i'm vegan. i-i can't kill an animal."

taehyung places a hand on my arm. "if you don't, we'll both starve. you have to, jungkook."

i'm breathing heavily, torn between the vow i made when i was twelve years old and my will to live. 

"c'mon, kookie. i know you can do this."

taehyung's words give me strength and i suddenly feel determination coursing through my veins. it's funny how he's the one who is physically unable to do anything, yet here i am relying on him for everything i do.

"o-okay." i stand up shakily and stumble down to the cabin, excavating the handheld spear taehyung always used when he was too impatient to wait for fish to take the bait of a fishing rod. never in my life did i think i would ever hold one of these.

i go back out to the deck, spear in hand, and stand at the edge of the ladder, my heart beating a mile a minute. taehyung gives me a weak thumbs up.

it's ok. i can do this. do it for taehyung. 

taking a deep breath, i jump into the frigid water, searching the area for any fish swimming by. luckily, i see a whole school swimming near the bottom of the yacht. the perfect target.

i grip the spear handle tighter, the thought of what i'm about to do sinking in. oh god, i'm going to kill an animal.

i clench my fist. 

for taehyung. 

i kick towards the fish, blindly stabbing at them, hoping to impale one. 

the fish only scatter. 

i kick back up to the surface, gasping for air.

"did you get one?" i hear taehyung ask.

i wipe the water from my eyes. "no. i'll try again."

i dive back down. luckily the school has re-congregated. i try again.

and again.

and again.

and again.

with every new attempt, i begin to grow more and more agitated.

i try one last time. and fail once again.

frustrated and now in full-blown panic, i scramble back up the ladder and drop the spear with a clatter, my hands shaking. 

"i'm sorry. i can't do it. i just can't. i can't do it. i can't do it. i can't-"

"jungkook, look at me." i follow taehyung's instructions, staring deeply into his soulful brown eyes. "you can do it. i have faith in you. stop panicking and focus."

my bottom lip trembles. but taehyung's words motivate me once more and i push back up onto my feet and grab the spear.

i can do this. i have to do this. the only way we'll survive is if i'm able to kill an animal.

and we have to survive.

i close my eyes and take a deep breath. then i dive back into the water.

i open my eyes, now clear-headed and focused. i hone in on a specific fish and swim as close as i can possibly get.

and i strike.

i slice through the water with as much force as i can muster and feel the spear make contact with something.

i did it.

i caught one.

i hurriedly kick back up to the surface and climb up onto the boat, breathless.

"i-i did it! tae, i caught one!" i stare at the flopping fish impaled by the spearhead in pure shock and ecstasy.

taehyung grins his signature boxy smile, one that i haven't seen in weeks. "i'm proud of you, kookie. i knew you could do it."

i smile. and then i laugh. for the first time in ages, i laugh from pure joy. i quickly obtain a knife and start hacking at the fish, cutting it up into edible pieces. once it's all cut up, my stomach can't take it any more and i wolf down a couple pieces raw. it's the first real food i've had in days.

i groan at the flavors spreading across my tongue. animal or not, raw or cooked, it's definitely some of the best food i've ever tasted.