Lost • Taekook •

31

37 days adrift

my eyes fly open with a start as i jolt awake from a vivid nightmare.

"ugh," i groan in discomfort. my neck is sore from falling asleep in such an awkward position, leaning against the steering wheel. but i don't have the strength to shift into a more comfortable position, i can't move even a finger.

i squint up at the clouds rolling across the sky. a gust of wind blows across my face. waves gently lap against the side of the boat, almost as if they want to rock me back to sleep.

i sigh. for a moment everything seems so peaceful. i can almost forget that i'm in a life or death situation.

"jungkook," i hear taehyung whisper. i stay sitting in my position, not turning to look at him.

"jungkook," he repeats. "get up."

i stare at the vast expanse of ocean surrounding me. my bottom lip trembles. another breeze brushes past my ears, rustling my long, unkempt hair.

i take a shaky breath. "taehyung."

"i'm going to let you go now."

with a grunt, i grab onto the steering wheel for support, pushing myself into an upright position. i squeeze my eyes shut as the world starts spinning around me. 

"oh," i breathe out. i re-open my eyes, my vision now blurred with tears.

i turn my stiff neck to look at taehyung's bed, so unbearably empty with nothing but his crumpled sweater sitting on top of it.

a torrent of memories starts attacking my brain.

our first dance.

"god, i love you."

our first kiss.

"i love you too, kookie."

the way you played guitar.

"then we'll die together."

all the times we'd watch the sunset.

"i wish we could stay like this forever."

your proposal.

"i want to spend the rest of my life with you."

the night i lost you.

"taehyung!"

i clap a hand over my mouth, feeling sick.

that night...

i had lost you forever.

my head starts to hurt. "oh my god."

"what's it like? sailing out there all alone."

the boat gives a sudden lurch and i nearly fall over.

"miserable. you're either sunburnt, sleep-deprived, or seasick."

i manage to hoist myself onto the ledge, my eyes falling onto taehyung's sweater.

"and after a few days, there's the hallucinations."

i bring the sweater up to my face, breathing in the last of taehyung's scent. a tear escapes my eye as i rub the soft texture against my cheek.

"i wish you were here," i whisper to the air.

but he isn't here. he never was.

"i'll love you forever."