The Earth's Child: A Bucky Barnes fanfiction

You Are Beautiful (*)

Warning: Slight smut towards the end.

"I said no cheating," called out Bucky as Bella stood at the door, her eyes closed.

"Bucky," said Bella, "I am not cheating but I can feel that the room is dark."

After a series of clatters and hums and plates dropping, Bucky finally asked an exasperated and impatient Bella to open her eyes.

Bella was dumbfounded at the scene in front of her.

Their entire apartment was lit by candles and the table had a big candle in the centre with a nice red rose beside it, and two plates placed in front of two chairs.

"Bucky," whispered Bella, scared that her voice might shatter the illusions, "what is all this?"

"A thank you," replied Bucky, "and a confession."

"Did you do this in the last fifteen minutes?"

"No, I have been working on this all day. It was scheduled a few hours earlier, but well, good thing I am good at improvising."

Bella gasped in shock at the realisation.

"So, the thing at the park," interrogated Bella, "was not sudden?"

"Oh, it was sudden, I just didn't know I would have to sing. I thought I would just confess my feelings the moment you walked in through the door at your usual time. Although, I don't regret it, I am glad I sang and you seemed to like it."

"So, you knew from the morning?"

"Knew what?"

"That you love me?"

"I have known that for a quite a while, doll."

Bucky smiled and rolled his eyes but Bella stared at him in shock. And then suddenly, she smacked him straight in his chest pretty hard.

"Ouch," yelled Bucky, "what was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me before?" charged Bella. "I spent an entire day, wallowing in the fact that you didn't care that much. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of confessing my feelings because you looked so confident about not having any for me!"

"I am sorry if that hurt you, doll. I- I didn't know how to."

"How to what?"

"How to tell you. And how to face the rejection. And I didn't want you to love me. I am not worth it. And honestly, when you confessed your feelings this morning, I was too shocked to actually realise what you were saying. I couldn't believe that someone like you could possibly see something loveable in someone like me."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when Juhini was torturing me and you turned up? She called me a mass murdering monster. And that is what I am. How can someone like me possibly be loved by someone like you? I am nothing but a threat to everyone. I have been the Winter Soldier, a ruthless assassin, for a longer time than I was James Buchanan Barnes. I don't even know how to act like a normal person, let alone a normal boyfriend. I have killed so many people, and their ghosts will forever be behind me, and the last thing I wanted was for you to fall in their shadows."

"Bucky, I didn't love James Barnes. I love you. It doesn't matter whether you behave like him or not. I love you for whoever you are today. Please, don't torture yourself like this."

Bucky lowered his head as he looked at the floor. Suddenly, he felt soft hands cupping his face and Bella forced him to look into her eyes.

"I can never be what a girl wants from her boyfriend," whispered Bucky in a broken voice as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "All girls want their partners to be gentle and pure. I am- I am just- I am none of that."