Breathe Again

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It's a little past two am, I should be sleeping since I have a flight out at seven am. I'm sitting beside Chris' pool with my feet in while I take in the beautiful view of LA. The view, I was told earlier, is Laurel Canyon. Still it is something spectacular, smog and all. I take a sip of my wine and splash some water.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" I hear Chris behind me. I turn and give him a weak smile. He comes beside me dipping his own feet in the pool. "What's bothering you? And don't lie to me." He nudges me with his elbow. I sigh and look out to the city lights. "I'm nervous. I mean I trust you Chris, I do but I've been burned before. And I know I do come with baggage, because I feel like I'm always comparing you and Derek. He was all I knew Chris, He was my first everything and I feel like I'm not being fair to you." He takes my hand in his and kisses it gently.

"Maggie, I will never cheat on you. I've been cheated on too. I never feel like you're comparing me to anything. Maggie, I love you. That's not gonna change. You're more than fair to me. I WILL call you everyday and I WILL come back to you. You're everything to me, Maggie and I'd never let that go." By now my tears are falling down my cheeks so fast I can barely wipe them away. "Thank you. After Derek I never thought I'd find someone else. Let alone you. But I'm glad it was." I lean into him and kiss him deeply,

"Can we go to bed now?" He asks against my lips. "Yeah, I should get some sleep." He stands and helps me up. "Who said anything about sleep? I'm wide awake now babe." He smirks as he slaps my ass before walking back inside. Once inside I see he's making coffee, "Thought we were going to bed?" I ask him. "Well if you want to, we can. Just figured I'd get it started for when I take you to the airport." As he puts the timer on the coffee maker. 

"Lets go to bed. Even if all we do is stay up and talk until I have go." Chris walks over to me and cups my face, "That sounds perfect." He kisses my forehead before taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom.

It's now four am and I have my head rested on his stomach as he rests his hand on my bare abdomen. We've talked about everything from the first time we met to future trips with the twins. I enjoy talking to him, he listens to me.

"Maggie, I need you to know I won't cheat on you. I mean I need you to know it in your soul that won't. I'm not Derek, I know you and I will never have what you and he did and that's ok. I just..." I sit up and look into his beautiful ocean blue eyes. "Chris, I trust you. I know you won't and you're right we won't have what I did with Derek because it's already better." He smiles that boyish grin I love so much before pulling me down into him. "God, I'm so happy with you. I'm totally in love with you." I can feel his breath hitch as he says this.

"Sorry." He says quickly. "Why? We say I love you, it's obvious we're both in love. Sometimes I feel it's too soon for me but then you look at me and open your mouth and say the best things." I straddle him in the bed and check the time. Still two hours to spare, I know what could fill one of those hours.

Chris and I climb out of the shower wrapping ourselves up in towels. "Need me to help you pack?" He asks me. "No, but thank you." He looks at me through the mirror with a cute little smirk, "I'm gonna miss falling asleep to your cute little snore." I whip around, "I do not snore!" He laughs and through said laughter tells me yes, I do.

"Maggie, in all seriousness I really am going to miss you." I look at him and he looks so depressed already. "Chris, I'm going to miss you too. Three months will pass in no time. We can do this." I hug him and he hugs me tighter. I can feel it in his embrace that he loves me unconditionally. I never thought I'd have that again.

He quickly releases me and goes to get dressed. I do the same and it's quiet as we do so. Both of us not wanting to leave the other.

At the airport he walks me to the security gates and sets my bag beside me before engulfing me in a hug. I hold him as tight as I can. "Is B going to make it to see you off?" He asks, since she had spoke about it at dinner. "No, she had something come up." He nods and shoves his hands into his pockets. I've learned this is something he does when he is nervous and anxious. "Spill it, what's bothering you besides me leaving?" I ask him wrapping my arms around his waist. "I'm worried about the movie, and I'm worried about you."