So how's 2019 going so far Pyrite?

Trust

top tip guys, just dont.

dont trust.

relationships are built on trust. well thats how people cheat

friendships are built on trust. then theyll stab you in the back

family is built on trust. i dont trust anyone in my family properly but my dad.

i trust that mum loves me and i love her, but whenever i vent she tries to 'fix' my life. 

she isnt homophobic (no thats my 6 yo brother) but she thinks that i shouldnt be so in your face about it. she seems disapointed everytime i do anything in relation to the lgbt community.

oh, and her response when i trusted her enough to talk about brandon was "are you sure, your friend group seems to have lots of issues and those arent that common..."

dads good though.

my siblings, i trust Abby every now and then, in return she will barge in my room, find loopholes in my rules when im helping her, and generally seep between all cracks like some kind of slime goo. shes a little bitch in general. then she'll suck up. then she'll fight. then she'll get everyone including my friends sometimes on her side. see? slime goo

dan is a little annoying jerk who will attempt to manipulate anything his way. also somewhat homophobic, i lost the recording but i decided to ask him what he thought of gay people and he basically said the whole its not natural and thats just wrong. the only difference is he didnt bring the bible into it. he would make a good politician; breaks promises, manipulative, lying, cheating-is-wrong-unless-i-do-it, kinda guy.

dads good though. he listens. he understands. he helps when i need it. he distracts me when i have my moments. Thank you dad. 

:')

basically the story behind me actually posting this instead of it sitting in my drafts is i went to Plestop's birthday party. i was met with my other family,  ANIME CLUB. I ran off with my family and chaos insued, plestop's sister took video so im having that sent to me. i might go over it to tell yall what happened. 

we screamed a lot and im surprised the police werent called. Toltes kept almost jumping over the neighbors fence. i may or may not of been cheering her on. 

parryslap was at her time of the month but everyone there was pure chaotic energy. well except Dandaman but thats unimportant considering she asked me to stand on her chest underwater to see how long she could stay under. im pretty sure thats called drowning though... parryslap was pushed into a small dinghy in the pool and everyone just splashed her purposely until we all gave up and Gem gave her a swim shirt, then everyone just screamed a whole lot.

the entire 4 hours were basically:

- screaming

- swimming

- gay jokes

- screaming memes

- aggressively headbanging as someone attacks a piano

- gay jokes

- steven universe 

- pizza

- some sort of weird concoction gem made

- i named my child vodka (ill probably explain it comments if anyone cares)

- Toltes trying to snort lemon lime and bitters for god knows what reason

- saying "haha T H A T S    G A Y" to literally everything

- we all watched change your mind on Dailymotion (except Toltes who just swore at all ads)and i had to threaten to break someone's bones when they wouldn't shut up while rainbow quarts showed up

- the straights in our group not acting very straight (i mean seriously plestop)

- i stole Gems shoe (she wouldn't give me food)

all in all, it was beautiful and i loved it.

then my mum with Abby and dan in tow showed up. dad had a meet with his friends so she had no choice but to bring them.

except they caused chaos everywhere and brought my mood down with an absolute crash.

full blown i hid in Plestop's couch table by covering myself in pillows.

once i was found, i had to try to keep siblings busy and out of the way while keeping my cool after a really quick rise in my anger.

i decided to give Abby my semi-dry towel deciding she should at least make herself useful or pull her own weight considering I didn't have enough arms to take care of everything.

she and Dan decided they couldn't even POSSIBLY hold a goddamn towel and one of them decided to leave it on the bench.

I only found this out as we were at the car. and MUM FUCKING BLAMED ME!?!? I CAN'T EVEN TRUST THE COMBINATION OF THE TWO OF THEM WITH A TOWEL. BUT NO ITS MY FAULT?!?!

looking over it, that was a huge blow up over something tiny, but the last time my anger issues were a problem was grade 4.

I ended up hissing at both of them, being quite accusing, and screaming at them, calling Abby a little bitch.

so basically everything I've been thinking for 2 or 3 years straight was finally said out loud.

over a goddamn towel

now when I get this angry I become sad. and defensive, very defensive.

I also have no filter if I have full blown anger blow out issue thingo.

so I was passive aggressive- wait not even that just full blown sniping at my mum for taking their side.

everyone in the car was in various stages of sad, to angry in tears.

the next day mum took the two of them to see HTTYD3.

the movie I've been excited about since the sequel.

she wouldn't allow me to come.

when I asked why she gave that one stare. the one that fills me with sadness no matter how happy I was. always.

apparently, she wasn't rewarding them, she was 'comforting' them because I said mean things that made them feel unimportant to me.

well wheRE WAS THAT EVERY SINGLE TIME THAT BROUGHT ME TO THIS SITUATION?

THAT AND I WANTED TO SEE THAT MOVIE DAMN YOU

Moral of the story, trust is a backstabber but will always come back and make you happy

(then stuff you all over again)

(repeat)