Silenced

Chapter 44.

I locked the bathroom door behind me so no one could follow. I leaned against the floor and slid down to sit. I couldn't fight the tears but at least I'd made it to the bathroom before they'd started. I was a horrible person. These people, my friends and family, were doing everything they could to protect me and all I could think about was myself. I was trying to leave and for what? So that I could spend the rest of my life running and hiding. I wanted to believe I could have a life here but I couldn't. They didn't understand because they don't know the claim He has on me. I touched my shirt just above my shoulder. The awful truth was hidden by just a thin piece of fabric and a couple strands of hair. It would be a fate worse than death to be sent back there.

I don't know how long I sat in the bathroom. Once the tears stopped I tried to think of a solution but I couldn't come up with anything. I decided it might be best to talk to Matthew. He already knew about it and he had offered to discuss it. I couldn't tell him the whole story but maybe if I gave him a few details he'd better understand my situation. Maybe he'd even be able to help.

I splashed some water on my face to wash away any sign of tears. I didn't want everyone to know I was such a mess. The apartment was quiet as I opened the door. Silas was in the kitchen. I figured since he was closest it would be best to face him first. He looked up as I walked forward but stayed where he was leaning against the counter.

'I'm sorry you are getting into trouble because of me.' I signed.

"Is that why you were crying?" He asked surprised. "Don't worry about it. I can handle the council." He shook his head.

'You shouldn't have to.' I signed shaking my head as well.

"You're right. I shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have ever been taken away in the first place and none of this should have happened to you. This isn't your fault." He straitened up and reached out to me. I knew what he was doing. Part of me wanted it but I couldn't bring myself to move. When I didn't pull away he stepped closer, pulling me into a hug. My eyes prickled with tears again. I took a deep breath. The familiar forest scent helped me hold them back.

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Every decision I make is my responsibility including how I handle the council. I'm choosing to do this and I'm choosing to do it this way." He said.

I shook my head and pulled back from the hug so that I could sign.

'Because of Aaron? I don't even know how to be someone's sister. I'm not worth it.' I signed.

"No. I would have done my best to protect you for Aaron, sure, but this is different. I'm doing this for my own reasons. It's more personal than you just being my best friends sister." He said.

'It is?' I asked surprised.

Silas nodded.

'Why?' I asked.

Silas opened his mouth to reply but quickly closed it and shook his head. His reached out, his fingers dipped into the waist band of my jeans and he tugged, pulling me towards him. My stomach flipped. His hand slid around my waist to rest on my lower back and he raised his other hand to tilt my chin up. My chest tightened. I had no doubt that he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes and let it happen. The first brush of his lips across mine almost tickled. It was the barest of touches. There was just barely enough pressure to cause a faint tingling. The tingles on my lips burned slightly and I leaned up to stop their ache. Silas obliged my small gesture and pressed a real kiss against my lips. I sighed softly in relief and felt his chest vibrate as he laughed against my lips.