Silenced

Chapter 54

"Come in." Silas said stepping back and holding the door open for me.

My stomach knotted even tighter as I walked through the door to his office. My plan to just get it over with no longer seemed like such a good idea.

"Are you ok?" He asked shutting the door. He moved to lean against the side of his desk with his arms crossed as he watched me. 

'Matthew told me to come and ask what your plan is with wolfsbane territory.' I signed. I had decided to sit in one of the chairs at his desk. It was meant to help with my shaking legs but it made it seem like Silas was towering over me.

"Why do you want to know?" Silas sat in his chair and leaned forward placing his elbows on his desk.

'Because I am worried about all of the innocent wolves.' I signed

~Traitor~ My mind whispered.

"You are not a traitor. The information you gave us will help us ensure the safety of the future of all the wolves in our nation, including those in wolfsbane."

'What about the innocents that are there now?' I signed.

"If they have anything to do with this facility then they are not innocent. I fully intend to deal with the ones that had a hand in hurting you myself. With that said when we go we will go for the facility not wolfsbane itself. This will not come to a war. I intend to dispatch several wolves to scout ahead weeks in advance and ensure that when we go any men, women, and children that are not involved are clear of the area. Furthermore, we do not intend to use deadly force if it can be avoided. We will accept surrenders from most. We want due process not a slaughter house. Jackson and his beta will have to be dealt with as a separate issue." Silas said.

I was shocked at how thorough his answer was. He knew exactly what to do and he spoke like a competent leader. I knew he was a good Alpha to his pack but I didn't know he was capable of leading multiple packs at once.

"I know how hard this is for you Rylan but please remember we are going in well aware of the necessary precautions to save lives not end them." He added.

I nodded slowly.

"Was there anything else you wished to discuss?" Silas asked when the silence had stretched on for several minutes.

'Matthew wants me to tell you something else.' I signed and paused. The advice had been substantially easier to hear than to follow. Silas leaned back in his chair patiently waiting for me to continue.

'I'm not ready to meet my mate.' I signed. I realized immediately that I had chosen a poor start to this conversation. Silas brow furrowed and he nodded.

"I know that." His warm and relaxed tone only made my next words seem even more difficult.

'I'm just afraid he won't want me because of everything...because I'm a mess... and I'm even more afraid that he will because I won't be enough for him and-'

I broke off mid-sentence when a knock sounded at the door. It made me jump out of my seat. I stood and watched Silas walk over to the door. I couldn't hear the person on the other side of the door but I could hear Silas response.

"It will have to wait I'm in an important meeting." Silas said.

The other person spoke.

Silas nodded once and closed the door. He walked back toward the desk but instead of heading to his chair he walked to me. I was confused on what he was doing when his arm went around my waist and his hand slid into my hair. Without a word his mouth brushed across mine. It was teasing and testing. I'd almost forgotten how much I liked the strange sensation his lips caused. He paused for moment allowing me an opportunity to pull away. I didn't. 

The second time wasn't a soft brush. He crushed his mouth over mine and wasted no time in slipping his tongue into my mouth. I was quickly lost in the way his mouth moved against mine. Silas pulled back and lifted me so that I was seated on the edge of his desk. I briefly wondered when we had moved closer to his desk but the thought was lost as soon as his mouth returned to mine. The new position allowed for our bodies to press against each other in all new ways. The heat radiating off of him only pushed me further into a haze of need. I could feel the edges of fear and pain mixed with my lust. As much as I loved the feeling of Silas against me I couldn't fight off the whispers of my nightmares as they began to invade my thoughts. I pulled back slightly from the kiss. Silas pulled back as well. He kissed my forehead and took a deep breath.

"I don't want you to ever think for a second that your mate doesn't want you. There is nothing that you could ever do to make that true." He said. His voice was guttural and low. It rumbled through my chest as if I had growled it myself.

~I just don't want to hurt you.~ I placed my hand on his chest and his hand came up to cover mine. I'd hoped that feeling his calm breaths would help me reign in mine but his breathing wasn't as calm as I'd expected. Knowing that he was a little out of breath from the kiss as well seemed to help me relax in a different way.

"Hmm." He smiled. "While I think I understand why you would be under that impression, you will have to trust me when I say it is not relevant."

I bit my lip as I considered his words. I couldn't tell if he truly knew what I was referring to or if he really believed it didn't matter. If he thought it didn't matter I wondered if that was because he thought we wouldn't be a thing for very long or if he thought that I wouldn't find my soul mate. Maybe finding your mate wasn't as common as Cassy had made it seem. I knew a lot of people in Willow Pack that didn't have a mate yet.

"You're over thinking Leannan. I can see the color fading from your cheeks." Silas said reminding me that I had been quiet for several minutes now.

'I don't know where we go from here.' I signed carefully.

Silas tilted his head a little as he thought about it.

"Maybe we start out as dating. Would you like to go on a date with me?" He asked after a moment.

'You're an alpha. Do alphas even date?' I signed.

~I don't want to complicate your life.~ My thoughts added. I needed to get a handle on this mind link thing.

"You aren't a complication Rylan. And yes, even alphas can date." He said.

The thought of Silas dating made me uncomfortable. I hated the pictures that flashed through my mind of Silas and Amanda. My stomach grew queasy and I wondered if he had kissed her in his office like this. Maybe that was why he thought the mate problem wasn't really relevant, he could always date someone else after me. I blinked back the familiar burn that threatened tears.

"Ry?" He asked. I wanted to cringe. Rylan wasn't even my name. What was I doing right now? Considering dating an alpha was probably one of my worst ideas yet.

'Maybe it's not such a good idea.' I signed.

Silas shook his head.

"But what if it is?" He asked.

My brow furrowed and I looked up at him for an explanation.

"The worst that could happen on a date with me would be what, it's as terrible as your dates with Thomas and you decide not to go again?" He asked.

My eyes widened and I shook my head. It hadn't even considered that I might not enjoy a date with Silas. Silas smiled a little and my chest suddenly felt warm. I offered a small smile back.

"Best case scenario would be that you have fun. We get to spend time together, maybe kiss some more, and most importantly we get to know each other a little better." He shrugged.

My smile faded. Silas getting to know me was exactly what I was afraid of. I didn't want to risk him finding out anymore of my past than necessary.

"So that's it then...?" He asked. "You are afraid of us getting to know each other because of what happened?"

I nodded slightly as I avoided his eyes. There was no point in hiding that fact.

"I can propose a rule." He offered turning my face back so that I was looking at him. "On our date I won't ask anything about what happened and we won't talk about the past unless you want to."

I nodded again and Silas smiled. I'd just agreed to go on a date with Alpha Silas Brogan.