Baby Boy Blues ☁️R A N D Y☁️

F O U R T Y-S E V E N

Ugh I'm sooooooo sorry for the slow updates. I've been going through a lot. But um, enjoy?

Enjoy some character development on Rye

Lets pretend that I haven't made them kiss yet okay? Okay.

⚠️ mentions self harm and depression and everything else like that, if you're easily triggered by DETAILED information of that stuff do not read the italic stuff, though that is most of the chapter ⚠️

•andy fowler•
As rye and I were walking down the park, just strolling along enjoying the sunrise and each other's company.

He stopped at the pond, the water fountain spraying into the pond and rye nuzzled Into me but also urged me to sit down on the grass with him.

Once we were seated Rye put his knees up to his chest and putting his head between them.

"You alright baby?" I asked softly, tracing small shapes on his back.

He nodded but I had a feeling he was about to open up.

"Yeah, just going to the park with Someone I love often causes me to be relaxed and open up and just relieve shit," Rye replied.

I put my hand on the back of his neck gently and rubbed my thumb across it softly.

"You can open up to me anytime, I'm always here," I said.

Rye looked at me with a soft smile.

•rye beaumont•
After Andy said I could always open up to him it made me feel happy but I wasn't ready to tell him about my past, not yet. We've only been dating for a few months and I wanna make sure this will last for more then a year before I even remotely tell him about what happened.

"Why are you being so difficult Ryan?" My mhm asked as she put her head in her hands.

"I'm not, I've just lost interest In it," I replied, feeling guilty.

"You were just saying a few weeks ago how much you love it and that you want to do it but then now you're coming to me saying that you don't?" She asked, quite pissed off.

This was only the beginning of my problems.

Later on I found myself thinking about things that no one should really be thinking about and then when anything happened I often turned to hurting myself and that's when my addiction began.

I got a way with it for awhile, often wearing long sleeves and hoodies and hiding my arms and wrist but it was when I was showering and my mum walked in while I was getting dressed and saw my arms and I really had no choice but to go to therapy but it never really helped and I always went back to self-harm and that's also when I was diagnosed with depression and I knew this was just the beginning.

As I was growing older, 16-18 i thought I could curve my habit of self-harm but that's didn't work, i was happy for a time but I also found myself harming just because I craved and needed it, it helped me and yeah so many people tried to help curve it, I just couldn't let it go, I was my life line at this point.

When I was 19 I met this guy who kinda helped me realize I wasn't exactly straight and I wasn't exactly bisexual either so that's when the whole coming out thing happened.

Of course I have a family who support it and friends who support it but then there were friends who didn't and some of those friends were my closest friends.

When I was dating Adam I thought he was a genuine guy and a caring person but as weeks turned into months and months turned into a year he slowly became abusive, mentally, physically, and sexually and that all took a toll on my mindset and how I viewed myself.