My blue eyed sheriff(A Carl Grimes fan fiction)

Terrible day

Ella's P.O.V.

Everyone's sitting down at a table inside right know.Merle took Michonne today. We have no clue where they are. Carl won't talk to me. Every time he looks at me he looks like he's scared of something. I don't know why.I......I don't exactly get it but he does and I just wish yesterday didn't happen! I'm the one who should be scared not him! I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Judith crying "Ill get her." I say softly and stand up. Rick stands up to "No Ella you should really be resting." Rick says "Just because I nearly got raped doesn't mean I'm fucking weak Rick!I survived, I'm here, I'm strong!" I hiss and walk into his cell. I was pissed! Everyone was treating me like a five year old! Im fine the boy didn't hurt me! I can still walk, breath, talk! Im fine! I pick up Judith and bring her into Daryl's cell since no one goes in there and I could have some peace from everyone! I knew Daryl knew I was in here because sometimes when I'm mad and he isn't in here ill come just to get some peace and quite. He lets me so I do this quite a bit. I smile at Judy "Shh it's okay Judith. Who's a pretty babygirl? You are! Yes you are! You look just like your mama!" I say and tickle Judy's stomach. "Ella?" I hear Carl ask and my smile fades away. Yesterday he really did scare me. I didn't know what got into him! I know the boy hurt me but Carl nearly killed him in front of me and it scared me to death. I knew he wouldn't hurt me but it still scared me. "Y-Yeah." I say and Carl sighs . I know I acted fine about it last night but I just really needed someone and he was the one I needed. I was still scared though just didn't show it. "Never mind! Doesn't even pay anymore! God damn it! I ruined everything!" Carl says as I pull my legs up to my chest not saying a word and messing with my bracelet like i would do when I was scared or nervous. Judith was laying down on my chest sleeping as I played with my bracelet. "Carl I....." was all I was able to say "Save it! I know your scared of me!" Carl yells and I cover Judy's ears so she wouldn't wake up. "Yes Carl I was scared of you!! To be honest I'm scared of everyone but Judy, Maggie,Beth, Hershel,your dad, Daryl and Glenn!Its not my fault I'm such a fragile thing that can't do shit and is scared of this world!Its not my fault my mom got raped, beat then murdered! Its not my fault I nearly got raped twice!" I hiss and Carl shakes his head "So you were only scared of me?" Carl asked and his voice cracked. "You, Merle,The Governor, Martinez, that boy! Carl it's more then just you and the reason I was scared of you is..... I tried to stop you but you wouldn't and seein you beat him just.....scared me." I say and pull Judith closer to my chest. "You think I would do that to you?Didn't you?" Carl asks and I don't answer "Didn't you!?!" Carl yells and the tears start to form in his eyes "Carl your gonna wake up your sister." I say quietly trying to change the subject and trying to hold the tears back "Answer the god damn question!" Carl yells and Rick comes in to the room with Daryl. Carl backs up to the wall and slides his back down the wall. "Whats wrong?" Rick asks but not to loudly cause he realized Judy was asleep. "No Carl i knew you wouldn't do that to me but I just don't know what to tell you Carl! You know I get scared when stuff like that happens! You know how it reminds me of y moms death!You know I even scolded my daddy for what he did to Ed! It's not my fault I'm scared for life because of that bastard they call The Governor!" I say and Hershel walks in. Carl stands up an was about to slam his fist into the wall but Hershel stopped him "Don't hurt your hand agin it's all ready in bad condition." Hershel says and I look at Carl "What did you do to your hand?" I asks and Carl shakes his head "Nothing Ella!" Carl says "Bullshit! Tell me what happened!" I say and Carl sighs "I punched a tree because I was frustrated I couldn't find you the person i cant live without! Okay?!?! Happy?!?" Carl asks loudly and Judith wakes up crying. I groan and shake my head "Great! Get out!If you don't she won't ever fall asleep agin!" I say and grab one of Judith's diapers that I had brought up here. "Ella go get some re-" Rick says but I cut him off "No! We're in danger because of me! Im gonna help!Know get out!" I say and lay Judy down on the bed. She starts to whine as I change her diaper "It's okay. I know we woke you up I'm sorry Judy.Just bare with me here I promise I won't get mad at you. You did nothing wrong." I say and put her little pajama dress on her. "Okay know your all better." I say and pick her up.I kiss her head and She lays her head on my shoulder while everyone stairs at me "What?!? You act as if you never saw me take care of her before!Me and Beth are the ones who pay the most attention to her!" I say and sigh. Everyone just keeps starring at me. "Stop starring at me like I'm a freak show!" I say while the tears that were in my eyes fall down my checks and I storm out of Daryl's cell and into Beth's. I was so pissed they looked at me like I was a monster that was a child and I have no clue what I did! "Stair at me like I'm a freak show! Ill leave without giving a shit with Judith if they do that agin!Im the one who's like her mother! I take care of her with Beth more than any of them do! I really don't care! Because they can't take care of Judith with out me and there's no way Im leaving her here alone with them!" I say as I walk I to Beth's cell furiously. "Whats wrong?" Beth asks "There treating me like a five year old and stare! at me like I'm a monster! Even Carl! He's pissed at me know because I'm scared of him! He beat someone in front of me and when someone does that it reminds me of mama so he had to know I would be at least the tinniest bit scared!" I say and Beth takes Judith from me. "You need to calm down." Beth says and I nod "Go clear your head Ive got Judith. If you have any problems you know to come to me, Maggie, Daddy, Glenn,Carol or Daryl." Beth says and I nod. I sigh and walk out of Beth's cell. I look around and see Carl leaning against a wall. I walk past him and stop dead in my tracks "Its not my fault I'm scared! Its not my fault I'm this little fragile thing that can't protect her self! It's not my fault my past was horrible!" I say to Carl my voice cracking and tears streaming down my face. I sniffle and wipe the tears "It's not my fault." I say and run into me and Carl's cell. I take my bags and big stitch then move it into anther cell. I close the curtain and grab my big stitch. I lay down with it and hug it thinking about all the good memories me and Carl have had then thinking about all the bad ones. I shove my face into the stitch and cry harder. I hear Carl walk in "Why is it my fault I'm scarred for life about what has happened to me? I lost my mom when I was three days old due to her getting raped,beat then murdered, I went to school with you and found out Rick got shot, next day these walkers came and tried eating us,then i lost Amy,after I lost my best friend,next I nearly got raped, my dad got shot,we lost the farm, you started getting depressed,Lori died, Rick started going insane,you got shot, I nearly got raped agin. Carl my life is a disaster! And I'm scared! Im always scared! You think I was just scared of you but that's not the case! To be perfectly honest with you I only trust Maggie, Beth, Judith and Hershel because Hershel's like my dad and Maggie,Beth there like my big sister and Judith shes like my little sister I have to guard with all my life!" I say and Carl sighs "But I.......I thought.... never mind it's stupid." Carl says and tears fall from his eyes "But you thought what?" I ask and Carl shakes his head "I thought I would be the one you would always trust and never be scared of but I guess I was wrong. Im so sorry Ella! I never meant to scare you I was just so furious that he had hurt you and I was scared he hurt you. Ella I couldn't just let him get away with it! I wasn't gonna hurt you!" Carl cries and I push the big stitch off the bed "I never thought you were gonna hurt me! It just scared me what you could do to other people and it reminded me of The Governor so I guess you can say you scared me a little but that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore!" I say and scoot over on the bed. I pat the bed besides me and Carl just sorta started at me. "Please." I whisper and Carl comes sit down besides me. I automatically wrap my arms around his neck. "Im sorry I was scared. Im not anymore I trust you and will always love you.Yesterday when we were walking back to the prison I just wanted you besides me to tell me everything would be okay but I was to scared that you were mad at me for being scared." I say and Carl hugs my waits "I wouldn't be mad at you for being scared. Everyone gets scared and it makes sense why you were scared." Carl says and we lay down. I put my head on his chest "Today was a terrible day so was yesterday." I say and Carl chuckles "Yeah but guess what?" Carl asks "What?" I ask "We found Michonne and Merle.....but he.....he turned cause The Governor." Carl says and I shake my head "I know me and Merle didn't actually get along but he didn't deserve to be killed." I says and shake my head "Poor Daryl." I say and Carl nods. "Please come back." Carl says and I nod "But I don't want to move." I say and Carl smiles "Then don't because I don't want to move ether." Carl says and I smile "Im sorry for acting like a bitch today." I say and Carl shakes his head "You were stressed so it was fine." Carl says and I nod "I love you." I say and kiss Carl's lips "I love you more." Carl says and I smile. "Please stay with me. Don't......don't ever leave me." I say and Carl puts his head in the crook of my neck. "Never will I ever leave you." Carl whispers and I start to play with his hair. He slowly falls asleep on top of me and I sigh. Me and Carl some how always make up so quickly. I love how we can never stay mad at each other for very long and if we do we crave each others touch.I live our relationship and him. I know he thinks of himself as a monster but he isn't. He's just my blue eyed sheriff that would do anything to protect anyone good.