No Longer Hidden {A Royal Wolves Story #3}

Author's Note: Part two

Thank you all for every single message you have sent to me in this time as I deal with so much. It helped me get through the worst of it. I may not be all together ready for my return, I'm certainly in a better place now.

In my previous Note, I mentioned a guy friend. Another friend that lives near me had taken upon herself to vent her anger towards him through my Facebook profile. This had angered not just him, but I was completely devastated that she had done so while I was in the worst of my grieving and struggling with everything. I haven't broken off my friendship with her completely, but she sees I'm still very much upset by her actions. She's been understanding and have kept her distance from me knowing she crossed a line.

This newer, more centered Kat (me) had come about due to two things. One, a friend who lives within the adjacent apartment buildings had given me a journal before he and his roommate went off on a short trip together as party of their summer bonding tradition. He told me to write everything that was plaguing my heart and mind. He wanted me to vent in a way that I have always done, through my writing. I have always had a hard time communicating with verbal words, so writing has always been my way to speak what I thinking. As we've talked about this, he wanted me to do just that. He's a guy of few words, but he cares.

So that's what I did the whole time they were gone. I wrote, and wrote as if my life depended on it. Each day gaining pages upon pages of just everything that was hurting me. Each piece of pain being released into those pages.

Slowly over the course of them being gone and with me writing I realized I wasn't just writing about what was wrong, but I was analyzing it and finding a reason why it was happening to me. I was even adding sage advice I didn't realize I was seeing. Positivity was coming back into my being for the first time in months.

What kicked me over the edge of reconnecting with myself again happened two Wednesdays ago. The day before I had a massive shock when I had to rush my assistant general manager to the emergency room and then proceeded to watch her pass out from pain in the waiting room. I was very rattled to the point I needed something. My fingers did the work and contacted the guy friend for a moment of his time the next day. Something that didn't involve any heart to heart.

To my shock, he agreed.

I saw him and then walked away after a little time with him. I say I my car for a moment afterwards and took a huge breath. Little did I know how much I had needed that moment with him. How much that release of sadness after writing about him and everything came when I needed it.

Though when I worked later and the next day, I didn't fully feel the change in me. Not till I slept that Friday for nearly 16 hours and then woke again that Saturday. It was as if the blackest of storms had suddenly vanished leaving me starting at the most beautiful blue sky with a vivid rainbow. I felt the beauty of the world again.

At work, I was genuinely smiling, dancing, and even singing randomly. My boss and everyone was shocked at seeing the playful side back. At break I had to thank my friend. He didn't reply, but then again he rarely did anyways.

That is where I'm at. I'm not one hundred precent, but I'm getting better.  Things are starting to look up. Fingers crossed.

In the darkest times, the ones who care the most are there. I know this to be more than true. All of you have cared and I hope to repay you soon for it. One way, I've been working on editing book one and its cover for publishing. Fingers crossed again.

Blessed be your day and your life!

Kat Coitier