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Even though Ryder and I basically lived together for a month, moving into together in New York was different. Ryder helped me move out of my apartment into his, or our's now. It was a brand new exciting experience for both us.

We were beginning to learn the little things about both of us. For instance, I never closed the toothpaste but Ryder always did, Ryder loved to cook but hated cleaning the dishes, and we learned how nice to was to go to sleep and wake up to someone.

Ryder slept on the right side because it was closer to the door. He claimed that side because he wanted to protect me in case anyone broke in. But I didn't mind, as long as he was there.

But even though a month flew by of Cathleen not being here, Ryder was still adjusting. Sometimes I'd wake up at three in the morning to see him just sitting up and panting. He was having constant bad dreams, it took a while to get him to calm down but we were learning.

I got him to see a therapist to talk out everything he was feeling. It was working, the bad dreams began to dwindle down, he was walking a little taller, smiling, he was almost Ryder again.

To make my life better, I was cleared from wearing a boot a day before my twentieth birthday. I still had to go to physical therapy, but I finally felt free again. I couldn't wait to start working again.

In fact, I booked a job with Victoria's Secret on the day of my birthday. It was so early that I didn't wanna wake Ryder up, but instead, I woke up to homemade acai bowls.

"Ryder." I smiled as I walked into the kitchen

He had balloons, peonies, and even little gifts.

"Happy birthday, Holland." Ryder said as he popped a confetti popper, "The only person I'd be up at five in the morning for."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "You're the best and also no longer dating a teenager."

Ryder look me in the eyes, "Only 365 more days until you can legally drink!"

I grinned, "Legally."

Ryder gave me a kiss and then we ate breakfast.

He sent me off to my photoshoot and then he probably went back to sleep.

I loved being back on set with my Victoria's Secret family instead of lounging around on the couch all day. I felt so loved and appreciated. I even got sent home with a goodie bag full of Victoria's Secret stuff.

My social media, texts, and calls were flooded with happy birthday messages. Twenty was off to a great start.


After my photo shoot, Ry and I went to lunch with Avery, Diego. Brielle, Maddie, Ben, and Joey - the same people from last year. Except for this year, we decided just to go to a low-key restaurant in New York City.

It was nice to catch up with our friends after being away for so long.

I loved seeing Ryder happy again and laughing with our friends.

But then there was the awkward sitting while everyone sang Happy Birthday to me. I didn't know what to do except just to sit there awkwardly. There was this comforting feeling about being surrounded by people who loved and appreciated you. Even if I couldn't be with my blood family today, this was the next best thing. These people basically became my second family.

We decided we would definitely go on a vacation together again and I couldn't wait.

Ryder and I took a taxi back to our place, changed into some comfier clothes, and sprawled out on the couch.

"Do you wanna do anything else today?" Ryder asked me, "I'm gonna cook you dinner later on."

"No, I'm completely fine with spending the rest of today watching TV shows and movies with you." I answered him as I rested my head on him

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