Stargirl

The Show Goes On

I'd learn so much in such a short amount of time. 

My support system was crazy good and I knew no matter what I had everything that I needed waiting for me at home.

I was accomplishing everything I set for myself and more. I was modeling successfully, growing my brands to new heights, and most of all being a good Mom.

There was nothing that brought me more happiness than being a mother. Hendrix was growing so quickly. It was like one day he was starting to walk and then I blinked and it was his first day of Pre-K 3. 

Hendrix taught me to stop and smell the roses, to never stop learning, and to stop worrying about tomorrow. I think Ryder would agree with me. 

Ryder found such great joy in being a Father and it made me so happy.

We would always stand in the doorway of Hendrix's room just staring at him. I would think about the post from all of those mommy groups that I was in that talked about one day you're going to put your child down and never pick them up again or how you only had eighteen summers. 

"I think we're doing a pretty good job at this shindig." Ryder rubbed my stomach

I put my hands on top of his, "We'll see how it is when his little brother gets in the world."

Ryder kissed my cheek, "I think he will be fine. He is a gentle little boy and cares about everyone. We're raising him well."

I closed his door gently, "You know, I think it's time that I finally take a step back from modeling. Being a Mom is the most important thing to me and I don't want to constantly worry about my body."

"Well, I think that would be good for you. You have the workout business and the children's clothing business. Plus you've been modeling for almost ten years." Ryder said as we got into bed, "I think I'm ready to take a step back too."

"You've been doing this for twenty-three years so I believe you deserve it." I grinned, "Damn that is more than half of your life."

Ryder let out a small laugh, "I love you and I need to be there for our boys."

On February 19th, we welcomed Sullivan Augustus James. He was already a feisty one. Sully came out two days late, weighed nine pounds and five ounces, and he had dark hair like his Dad.

And Ryder was right, Hendrix was completely smitten with his little brother. He always wanted to help take care of Sullivan, help me or his Dad, he even wanted to play with him but I told him he had to wait until Sully was a little older. 

Every night I would pray that my boys would grow up to be close. Something like Grier and I - close in age but not too close. Just how I liked it, or so I thought.

Thirteen months later we welcomed Alexander Cade James, our surprise baby.

Life was already challenging with a five-year-old and one year old then we went and threw a newborn into the mix. 

But we welcomed it with open arms. 

Ryder and I kept up with the same traditions we always had since we moved in together. Nearly every Friday we ate out a restaurant, sometimes postmates, Saturdays we would try to get out of the house and do something fun, and Sundays were for the family and homecooked meals.

We tried our absolute best to keep our children away from the media and the whole world of fame but sometimes paparazzi would follow us and I would hate it.

Hendrix would always ask questions about it, Sullivan would stop and pose, and usually, Alexander was a mix of the two depending on his mood. 

The year things got really fun is when Alexander turned three. The boys all had some level of independence and could finally play together. Sometimes why the would play outside I would just stare at them and think 'Wow these are the little gremlins I brought into this world'. 

"Hendrix is your child through and through." I said to Ryder as I watched Hendrix be a leader over his younger brothers. He was so much like Ryder. They had the same eyes, their sneezes would sound the same, and their personalities were nearly identical

Ryder looked up from the grill, "I love my boys."

Hendrix ran over and looked at the grill, "Do I have to go to school tomorrow? I don't think it will affect me at all since it is the last day before summer and I don't want to watch dumb movies."

"Ask your Mom." Ryder winked, "She gets the final say."

Hendrix looked at me with those big blue eyes, "Mama, you know, I love you so much."

I let out a laugh as he sat on my lap and gave me a hug.

"You don't want to go to your last day of second grade?" I asked him, "Don't even wanna say goodbye to your friends?"

He shrugged, "Won't I just see them in September? I could invite my friends over anytime over the summer."

"Then if I skip school I can help Dad at the studio tomorrow!" Hendrix's eyes lit up. The kid loved music. Ryder taught him how to play the guitar and piano and he was pretty good at it. His voice was beautiful as well plus he got my good looks.

I brushed his blonde hair out of his face, "Alright, why not, you're on honor roll anyway."

"He got that from me." Ryder grinned

"I think I got it from Mom, Nonny says Mom was smart like me." he shrugged, "I dunno though."

Hendrix ran back to the trampoline with his brothers and I looked up at Ryder.

"I think that kid would make a great lawyer, he could talk you into anything." Ryder sat down next to me

"I was pre-law before I dropped out." I reminded him, "I wanna talk to you about something."

"Alright, shoot." he gave me his full attention

I looked him the eyes, "I want one more baby."

"Then let's make a baby." he said before giving me a gentle kiss, "When the boys go to sleep of course. 

When I found out I was pregnant again, I prayed that God would give me a healthy baby who hopefully had XX chromosomes. 

And He gave me two.

On March 9th Ryder, our three sons, and I welcomed Cadence Cathleen James and Chloe Grace James who we affectionately called Cece and Coco. 

Maybe I was never going to have my Victoria's Secret Model body back but my heart was full. I had everything I could ever need or want.