There's Nothing Holding Me Back

.19

(im gonna fast forward to a year)

its been a whole year since i've been gone from new york and my friends are starting to worry if im coming back or not. don't get me wrong, i definitely wanna go back but me and mac are in an amazing place right now in our relationship. i wouldn't trade it for the world.

mac and i's 1 year anniversary is today and he planned out a nice dinner and movie. i put on the outfit i picked out and threw my hair into a long ponytail. mac was on his way so i walked downstairs and talked to my parents. "so sweetie, when are you going back to new york?" my mom ask. "i don't know mom, me and mac are in a great place and i don't wanna ruin that. he's my happiness." i say while blushing. my parents nod and look at me. "well we have a surprise for you." they say while walking towards our garage.

they open the garage door and i see my dream car. a 2010 hummer. i shriek and run over to the car. "this is mine?" i ask. "yes keaton, we promised you a car and we will always stick to our promises." my dad says while handing me the keys. i hug them both and hop inside. the interior is all leather and my name is on every seat. this is honestly one of the best nights of my life. the doorbell rings and my dad goes to answer it. a couple seconds later mac walks in.

"hey baby! oh wow nice car. looks good!" he says while giving me a quick kiss. "i know, i love it. and we are driving it tonight to our date." i say while starting the car. mac laughs and walks over to the passenger side. my parents open the garage and we drive off. we get to dinner and its this really nice sushi place. we take our seats and order our food.

after dinner mac and i head over to the movies and watch love, simon. the movie was over and i was in tears. that movie was so amazing. mac and i get to my car and we sit there for a while. he pulls out a red box and opens it to reveal a necklace with his name on it. he puts it around my neck and kisses me. "thank you for making the past year amazing for me. you are my true love and even when we are apart i will always be with you." he says. i kiss him and give him a hug. mac and i made love to each other that night in the back of my car and honestly it was the best sex i've ever had.

i get home and decide to post some pictures of us on instagram since it has this new feature where you can post up to ten pictures now.

@keatonbaby_: to my love, words cannot express how happy you make me. life without you would be so crazy. you make me smile from ear to ear🥰 you are my everything and i couldn't imagine life without you. the first picture is when we first met. you made me feel so comfortable and welcomed. i felt safe with you and then we started talking 💓 the second picture is when you first met my family and you stayed the night at my house. we watched movies and laughed about the stupidest things ever. and last but not least. the last picture, our anniversary. tonight was so amazing and i wouldn't wanna spend it with anyone else. malcolm, thank you for bringing joy and happiness back into my life. im forever grateful. happy first year together baby💍🕺🏾 forever ♾ and always 🤞🏾

@caraaaa: so happy for you keaton, but come home! 😭
@maddybae: keaton, you look beautiful. i miss you boo 💗 pls come home soon
@sammywilkinson: so happy for you keaton💙
@jackgilinsky: 😭😭❤️
@macmiller: forever grateful for you baby. you make life bearable 💙 i love you sweet thang😘💍
@sebastiankydd: miss you k❤️ glad to see you happy!

i look at the comments and see that my friends really do miss me. i definitely have to go back home soon. i continue to scroll through instagram and see mac posted a picture as well.

@macmiller: to my wife, i love you everyday and i will continue to do that till my last breath. life without you will be hard and painful and im glad that you are in mine😍 you are my goddess and will forever be my goddess. happy first year anniversary my love 💍💙

@keatonbaby_: i love you so much baby! 😍 thank you for an amazing year together 😘

mac makes my life so much better and im so happy to be with him. but there's always a voice in the back of my head reminding me about shawn. he was my first true love. he will always have a special place in my heart. i heard hes back in new york now. but i definitely have to go back home. i miss my goons.

okay so i have come to the conclusion that starting next chapter mac won't be in it. i know all of you guys are gonna be upset but remember its a shawn mendes book, so just be patient with me. its gonna be great. anyways, thank you for reading :) 💛