Out Loud ||Dan Howell x Reader||

Chapter 3

I woke up fairly early the next morning. At least, early enough that neither Dan nor Phil were awake. So, as a way to apologise to Dan for being rude and thank Phil for letting me stay with them, I decided I would make them breakfast. Making sure I didn't walk into the glass door and wake the two up, I made my way into the kitchen and started opening cupboards, grabbing everything I needed to make some good 'ol pancakes. I began to mix all of the ingredients together before placing the first dip of batter into the greased pan. After a few pancakes, the smell became very prominent in the apartment. A bang on the glass door brought my attention away from breakfast. Glancing over, Phil cautiously opened the door while rubbing his nose, Dan following close behind as he laughed.

"Stupid glassdoor!" Phil grumbled before looking at the array of pancakes on the plates I had set out for the two. "You made breakfast?!" He gasped. I nodded, picking up the two plates.

"I decided to make you guys breakfast as an apology for being rude yesterday," I handed Dan his plate, "and as a thank you for letting me stay for a few nights." Grabbing the plate from my hand, Phil gave me an odd look.

"What do you mean, a few nights?" He asked.

"Well, I don't want to overstay my visit. I'm already looking at apartments nearby-"

"Overstay your visit?!" Both Dan and Phil said, practically yelling.

"What are you talking about? I don't want you going out there alone," Phil continued, placing his plate down on the counter.

"(y/n), you can stay as long as you want. We aren't bothered by it. You don't need to go and find an apartment," Dan added. I looked at the two closely. Their eyes told me that they were truthful and sincere. Especially Dan. I let out a sigh before responding.

"Fine," I mumbled. "Now go eat your pancakes, they're getting cold!" I pushed Phil lightly before turning back to the pan to make a few pancakes for myself. Phil grabbed his plate and left to the lounge. I glanced up once more, only to find Dan giving me a soft smile. I smiled back lightly before shooing him away as well.

--yippie kay-yay motherfuckers--

"Hey, (y/n), could you come down here for a moment?" Dan called from the bottom of the stairs. I opened the door and glanced down, a confused look covering my face. "Please?" He added. I rolled my eyes and gave him a nod before making my way down the stairs, following Dan into the lounge where Phil was sat at the table. There were three mugs on the coffee table, all filled with hot chocolate. I glanced up at the two, giving them a suspicious look.

"Is this an intervention?" I questioned, taking a seat next to Phil at the table and grabbed one of the mugs. It was still warm.

"No, we just wanted to talk about what happened," Phil replied. I stiffened slightly, looking down at my lap.

"Why?" I mumbled.

"You haven't told us much about what happened between the two of you. And you've been a little distance from everyone," Phil said, placing his hand on my shoulder in hopes to add any comfort to the situation at hand.

"We're just worried about you, (y/n)," Dan added, taking a seat at my right. He put his arm around my shoulders, but I quickly shrugged it off. I got a strange feeling when he touched me.

"I don't see why you guys are worried. I'm fine, seriously," I denied. I know it's not true, and I know I'm not really fine, but I wish they would leave it where it's at. Of course, they wouldn't though.

"(y/n), please-"

"Dan, Phil... I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay? There is still a lot on my mind and I just... I need some time to think about everything that's happened," I cut my brother off and stood up, taking the hot chocolate in my hands. "Can we just watch an anime or something?" They glanced at each other before Phil let out a sigh, giving me a nod. They grabbed their own mugs as I sat down on the sofa in the farthest corner. They made themselves comfortable as Phil started up an episode of Food Wars.

I didn't pay much attention as the scenes rolled through. My mind kept roaming, specifically to Dan. I still don't completely understand why I don't trust him. And what was that feeling I got when he put his arm around me? My stomach knotted up; it felt odd but familiar. I looked up from my hands after staring at them for much too long. Phil was still watching the screen with deep concentration, but glancing at Dan, it was obvious that Dan wasn't concentrating on the show at all. He was staring at me. I felt my face heat up slightly as I looked away. What is wrong with me? I thought as I took a sip of my hot chocolate that was still sitting in front of me. If there was any visible colour on my cheeks, I could pass it off as the steam from the hot chocolate, even though there was barely any coming off.

You don't trust him.

You can't trust him.

Why are you having these feelings?

Get away from him.

He'll hurt you.

He'll terrorise you...

My mind wouldn't leave me alone. Somewhere I in my heart and my mind I knew that I could trust Dan, but the rest of my say that I can't. I need all of these emotions to stop and go away. I won't accept them. I can't accept them. I never can.

I can never accept the feelings I have towards my brother's flatmate.