Out Loud ||Dan Howell x Reader||

Chapter 5

--Back to You--

I didn't wake up until 10:30 that morning. Sitting up from the mess of blankets I had managed to curl myself up in, I rubbed my eyes and placed my feet on the ground. It was at that moment when the scent hit my nostrils: breakfast. Jumping up from the pull-out couch, I pulled my hair up an out of my face and began to make my way down the stairs. The smell grew stronger with each step towards the kitchen. Popping my head in the kitchen, I found Phil at the stove while Dan was leaning against the counter. The two were speaking in hushed tones, I couldn't hear a word they were saying.

"Hey guys," I said, fully making my way into the kitchen. They both went silent and turned their attention to me. There was no response. "Is everything okay?" I asked. They gave each other a side glance before nodding in response.

"Are you feeling better this morning?" Phil asked. I gave him a nod and leaned against the counter next to Dan. At this point, the only noise being made in the kitchen was the sizzle of a fresh pancake being made in the pan.

"What were you guys talking about?" I asked. No response. "Phil-" I prodded.

"We were talking about last night," he finally responded. My eyes widened slightly. I glanced quickly at Dan, my eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"I heard a bit of your conversation last night. Something about Phil wanting to kick someone's ass. I didn't hear much," Dan said, refusing to make eye contact with me. I let out a small sigh of relief. They both gave me a strange look, but I shrugged it off.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it," I said. There was once again silence in the small kitchen. "Phil! Do you need any help?" I said, my tone changing completely. I couldn't stand the awkward silence in the room. Phil looked up from the pan and thought for a moment.

"Actually, yeah. Could you hand me another plate? There are so many pancakes, the tower is beginning to lean," he replied. I nodded and turned around, reaching into the cupboard above me and grabbing a plate. I handed it to him and turned toward the door.

"I'm going to go change. I'll be down in a bit!" I escaped the awkward silence and made my way back up the stairs. I changed quickly into some comfortable, readjusting my hair while I was at it. I turned to the door and grabbed the doorknob when a knock sounded.

"Can I come in?" The familiar voice sounded from the other side of the door. I removed my hand from the doorknob.

"Yeah, sure," I hesitated slightly with my response. The door opened the Dan entered the office before closing the door behind him. "What's up?"

"What were you guys talking about last night?" He asked. I turned away slightly.

"It was nothing," I responded. Dan took a step towards me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"(y/n), you know you can talk to me, right?" I looked up at him for a moment. His eyes were blaring concern towards me. I nodded slightly, looking away.

"I know, I know. It's just..." I trailed off slightly. "I don't know," I mumbled.

"It's just what?" Dan prodded as he removed his hand from my shoulder. I hadn't even realized I had tensed up until his touch was gone. And I think Dan noticed before I did. "Did I do something wrong?" His brows furrowed slightly.

"N-No! I..." I couldn't think up a good enough excuse to get out of this situation. My mind had gone blank. There was a tense silence between us until Dan seemed to have found the courage to speak up.

"Was your conversation with Phil last night about your ex?" He questioned. I looked up at him and froze. The concern in his eyes was gone, replaced with a mixture of anger and betrayal. I knew I couldn't keep this secret from him much longer. And, if anything, Phil would tell him before I could. I gave him a nod in response. "So you told Phil everything, but you didn't have the courage to tell me?" I nodded once more. "(y/n), I thought we were friends. You know you can tell me anything-"

"I know I can!" I cut him off, my emotions overflowing. "I just don't want to bring you into this mess."

"You don't have to protect me from whatever this is, (y/n). Why won't you tell me?" Dan was getting irritated, I could tell by the tone of his voice. It was almost scary. But anger was building up inside of me as well. He keeps pressing the topic and I know I can't escape this situation now.

"Because I don't trust you!" I yelled. Silence once again fell upon the tension of the room. Looking at Dan, I could tell he was shocked and wanted an explanation. I gave up, letting out a sigh in hopes to subside my anger. "Isaac fucking ruined me. He lied to me about everything, and when I found out about it... I lost my trust in everyone, including you. Phil is the only person I trust right now..." I trailed off, becoming silent once more. My head fell and I Stared at my feet. I let out a deep breath, trying to keep the tears away from sight. Don't cry, don't cry... I thought to myself. But the next thing I knew, Dan wrapped his arms around me and the struggle to hold my tears grew stronger.

"What did he do to you?" Dan asked, rubbing my back to comfort me. It was a calming feeling.

"You really want the full story?" I asked. He gave me a nod in response. I let out another sigh as he retracted the hug. We both sat down on the makeshift bed. I fiddled with my hands as I told Dan what I had told my brother just hours ago. As hard as I tried, the tears eventually spilled. By the time I had finished, Dan was holding my hands, rubbing small circles on the back with his thumb.

"I agree with Phil, I want to beat the shit out of him, too," Dan said. I let out a small giggle as a smile grew on my face.

"Nice to know Phil's not the only one," I mumbled. Dan let out a sigh but continued to rub the back of my palm with his thumb.

"So, if I'm getting this right, you trusted him so much that when he told you everything was a huge lie, you lost trust in everyone in your life... including me?" He asked. For the first time in a while, I looked up to him and stared into his eyes. I felt guilty all of a sudden. But I Gave him a nod. I couldn't bring my eyes away from his, not until he looked away. Somehow, the chocolate colour in his eyes captured me. Dan looked back to me after a few seconds of silence and leaned forward slightly, placing his forehead on mine. I could practically hear my heart rate increase.

Why is my heart racing? I shouldn't be feeling this-

"You can trust me. And if there's something in you that says you can't, then I'll fight it myself, okay?" I nodded slightly, not daring to move my head more if it meant that his forehead would be removed from mine. It was oddly comforting this way, and for once, there was a calm silence in the room. But it was quickly broken by a knock on the door.

"Hey, guys? Is everything okay in there?" Phil asked through the door. We both jumped slightly and we moved apart. The comfort I felt was no longer there.

"Y-Yeah! We'll be out in a minute," I called out. I quickly got off the pull-out couch and stepped toward the door. I let out a small breath and looked back to Dan, giving him a small smile. "See you down there," I mumbled before opening the door and closing it behind me, leaving Dan in there.