My Story

When It Just Hurts...

Tell me I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one who feels like this...

There are times that I ache, where my body is so in need of a loving, tender touch.

When it hurts to stand there and do my job, and then come home to no one and nothing.

Where I smile and wave all day long, but can't even work up a grin at my favorite TV show when I get home. Because I gave it my all today. I gave my job 100%, just like I'm supposed to...so what's left of me to give?

I feel depleted, drained, poured out, and dry.

I need someone to pour back into me.

I need that unexpected hug from behind, or the run across the building because you see me from so far away that you can't stand the distance anymore kind of hug.

I need the movie night on the couch with warm blankets and snacks, where I fall asleep listening to your heartbeat, and you simply tuck in the blankets around me, hold me closer, and allow me to rest.

The thing is though, as bad as I may hurt physically or emotionally, there are people who have it worse than I do...

So I choose to stop, .breathe. and choose....

Do I choose to lash out in my hurt at anyone or anything that reminds me of that pain?

Do I choose to hold it in, bottle it up, and let it fester?

-OR-

Do I choose to seek out the Healing Balm of Gilead? The Comforter who was Promised? The Holy Spirit?

It's so easy to choose the first two in the moment ... to hurt someone the way you were hurt, or to try and cover up the fact that you were hurt and pretend like everything is fine.

But God made our bodies perfectly. Even our nerve endings.

We all hurt for a reason: to let our brains know to seek out healing.

So when I'm longing, so longing for a helpmate, a husband, so much so that it .hurts., I know that it's time to wash with the water of the Word, to soak in the presence of Almighty God, to praise Him for all the good things I .do. have, to make my requests known, let Him know every place that it hurts, and to let Him be Jehovah Rapha, The One who Heals, and Jehovah Shalom, the One who brings Peace and Restoration.