Down But Not Out

Chapter 13

Josh's POV

I watched her go inside and smiled at the fact that she'd waved at me before she closed the door behind her. I was planning on leaving as soon as I'd watched her walk inside but I was still parked here thinking about everything that had happened between us today.

Lizzie had told me about the fact that she was a virgin, and I respected that fact. She'd also opened my eyes when she'd told me how she felt about people who happily climb into bed with anyone. I have to admit that she'd changed my perspective about it and I hoped that she would find the guy for her. The only problem with that was that I wished I could be that guy.

Over the last few days I'd realised that Oli had been right, and that I do in fact like Lizzie. She's just the most interesting person and definitely the most beautiful woman I know and even though there is an age gap of nearly four years between us, to me she feels older than that, because I can have such a mature conversation with her. But I also love how childish she can be at times, because it makes me want to be childish with her.

The only problem was that now, I liked her even more since she'd told me what had happened with her sister. I'd watched her cry and couldn't take it anymore, so I'd held her hands just to show her that I was there and that I was someone she could count on. She didn't seem to mind because she turned her hands over so that we could hold hands better and even though she was obviously in pain telling me the story, I couldn't help but love the feel of her cold hands in mine. I'd admired her bravery though, because I'd told her she didn't have to tell me. Of course she was stubborn and had carried on, and even though I'd watched the pain flicker across her face and swim in her eyes, I found myself loving the fact that she was tough and had felt like she needed to finish since she'd already started telling me anyway. It was strange though, because when she was talking it was like I could feel her pain and I couldn't help but to cry with her because it hurt seeing her so vulnerable when she was usually so full of life. I'd tried as hard as I could to understand her more and now I did, but I just hoped she didn't hate me for probing too much into her personal life.

I sighed and hit my head against the steering wheel as my stomach rolled while I thought of Lizzie, and about how much she'd gone through at sixteen years old. I'd felt much closer to her after that and had felt as though I should tell her something about me, so I chose to tell her about my Grandpa whom I'd been really close to. Thinking about it now I was happy that I had because it felt like we'd bonded over something, but I also have a feeling that it may have been a stupid idea.

Still, something good had come out of today. I now knew my co-worker, who was such a pleasure to have around, and even though she'd made me uncomfortable about asking why I kept my face covered, I found that she didn't think I could possibly be ugly. That had made me smile and I also felt a little smug that she didn't think I was ugly. Maybe things could work out between us, although of course I knew they couldn't, not whilst she had no clue who I was. I may have revealed parts of my life, but I'd been pretty vague to so that she wouldn't hopefully guess who I really was. I'm surprised that she didn't figure me out as soon as I'd told her that I wrote songs, but I was happy that she hadn't.

Although I found out about her favourite things, and found them really interesting, I was slightly curious as to why she was so uncomfortable about revealing her work to people that she knew. Hopefully that would change, because I'd like to read what she has written as well as watch her dance, because she was a curvy girl and I wondered what she would look like when she danced. The thought made me smile before I realised that I was still parked in the parking lot of the apartment complex where she lived.

Sighing I shifted gears and pulled out of my parking space before heading back to my apartment. I needed sleep, it had been a long day, and an even longer night the night before, although I was grateful to Lizzie for cleaning up my lip this morning.