Down But Not Out

Chapter 42

Note: Okay so I'm probably giving away too much info by saying this, but these next few chapters do jump around a little so that you can get more of the story. I just want to say thank you to all of you who are commenting, I seriously love you all. Now, usually I would dedicate chapters, but there are so many people to dedicate chapters to so I'm just dedicating it to you all of you in general.

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"I know it's been nearly two weeks since we left mum but I can't leave him yet" I sighed down the phone trying to calm down my erratic mother who was worrying herself silly because I wasn't home yet. I don't know why she was worrying, I talked to her everyday, or if I forgot Summer talked to her for me, besides my mum knew that Summer was still here with me.

"Liz it's not right. His family are there, you should have come home once they arrived" she said and I shuck my head at myself.

"I'm not leaving him mum. I'm sorry that you're worrying about me but I'm perfectly fine, Josh on the other hand is not. He gets worse everyday and I'm not leaving him on the chance that he may wake up and he won't see me there because I came home because you told me to. I'm eighteen now, Summer and I are keeping in touch" I said, feeling myself get worked up. I knew my parents were worried but I couldn't understand why they were worrying so much. I was perfectly healthy- except for my sleepless nights- and I was going to stay here until my boyfriend woke up.

"I'm sorry Liz, I know how much he means to you, it's just that I can't help but worry when you're all the way down there in London,"  she sighed and I bit my lip.

"I know mum but I'm fine, you shouldn't worry so much. I'm going to stay here until something happens, until then I don't know when I will be back home" I stated and heard my mum sigh on the other end.

"Okay Liz, I'm sorry about being a pain. Give my love to his family and the guys" she said and I nodded.

"I will" the line went dead on her end and I brushed my hand through my hair in my frustration before turning my phone off and sliding it back into my pocket.

I'd just come outside to do my usual 'check in with mum' phone call and she'd just come out saying I should come back home and let Josh's family deal with him. I'd argued of course and she hadn't liked that but what I couldn't understand was that I knew my mum well enough to know that if it had been the other way away around and Louise hadn't died on impact but had been in a coma in hospital, she wouldn't have left her, not even to shower. I know loving a sister or daughter and loving a boyfriend so strongly you can't leave them are two different things, but my mum should know why I have to do this.

I walked through the door to Josh's room and sat down on the chair next to Summer, while Max looked up at me from his place opposite me. I saw that he'd been crying so I sent him a sad smile, he just nodded at me and covered his face with his hands. I swallowed and Summer gripped my hands, holding until I looked up at her. She smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug, making it awkward since we were hugging over the arms of the chairs.

"I just want him back Sum-" I whispered and she held me tighter, "-I can't lose him, I love him too much and I've lost too much already. Why is it that the people I love are always the ones who get hurt? Am I really such a horrible person?" I asked my best friend and she pulled away from me, gripping my face to make me look at her.

"Now you listen to me Elizabeth Collins, you are not a horrible person because there is not a bad bone in your body. The world is a cruel place and for some reason it's picking on you, but you do not deserve this" she said and I nodded, feeling a little relieved but still incredibly guilty. Perhaps it was something to do with me, maybe all the people I cared about would be better off without me if bad luck follows me wherever I go.

Sighing, I lay my head down on the bed, turning my face away from my friends and instead closing my eyes against the wave of anger and tiredness. I really needed to sleep. The door opened and I looked up to see Dan walk in holding cups and bags for the four of us. Elissa was on her way here from the hotel with her parents, after hopefully getting a good rest. I smiled at Dan as he handed me a cup of coffee and a packet of crisps which I took and eagerly ate and drank.

After I'd finished my drink and snack the Doctor walked into Josh's room, closely followed by Josh's family. I blinked up at them and the Doctor smiled at me.

"I'm glad you're all here, I need to talk to you" he stated and we all looked up at him. He sighed and brushed a hand across his eyes while I sunk my teeth into my lip to keep myself from yelling at him to spit out whatever he was thinking.

"It's been nearly two weeks since he's been in here and all the tests come back the same showing he has no brain activity. Usually by now if a patient is going to wake up they usually show small signs. Josh hasn't and I believe you need to let go of your hope and turn off the life support machine. It's not fair to any of you to drag this out by keeping him alive" the Doctor said and I removed my teeth from my lip while I glared at him. How dare he say that Josh wouldn't wake up! Because I knew he would, I believed in him and there was no way that I was going to give up on him so easily.

"Well you can keep those opinions to yourself Doctor, because Josh will wake up. It may take a while but I know he will wake up" I hissed and the Doctor looked shocked at my harsh tone but he sighed as Elissa walked over to me and stood behind my chair before placing her hands on my shoulders and squeezing.

"I agree with Lizzie. My brother will wake up" Elissa stated the fact from behind me and I smiled to myself. Elissa was definitely the one person I knew I could count on at the moment.

I looked up at Kate and Richard and saw them staring at the doctor, although they didn't look as angry or upset as what I thought they would be when the doctor told them what he has been thinking for the last few days. I saw Kate gulp before she looked at me and nodded slowly.

"Yes Lizzie is right" she said quietly and I frowned before glancing over my shoulder at Elissa who looked as worried as what I felt. If I didn't know better I would say that Kate wasn't so sure about what I'd said, but of course she believed that Josh would wake up? Didn't she? I mean she couldn't give up on her son, could she?

I turned away from Elissa to see the doctor leaving, but I suddenly felt very unsure about what Josh's parents were thinking. If the doctor had said that two days ago, they would've backed me up just as much as what Elissa had. Now all of a sudden they were doubting Josh's ability to fight through this. What happened to change their minds? I looked between Kate and Richard and saw the doubt flickering across their faces before I turned back to watch Josh.

Kate and Richard may be ready to give up, but I knew Elissa and I would fight for him until something happened. There was no way I was letting go of the hope that he would wake up. That hope was the only thing that kept me going every second of every day.