Down But Not Out

Chapter 41

I heard something outside which made me bolt upright out of my uncomfortable sleep. Sighing I wiped my arm across my face and licked my lips before looking at Josh, who was getting paler everyday.

He'd been in the hospital for just over a week now and he wasn't making any progress, in fact there were times when the doctors believed that Josh was getting worse as he was no longer unconscious but they believed he was in a coma. The doctors had said it was a way for Josh to try and heal himself, but because there was no brain activity from him when they did tests, there was no way of knowing how well he was doing.

Elissa and I hardly left, except to go back to the hotel room to shower and take the occasional hour nap, but both of us agreed that we couldn't sleep when we were away from him. Then again I couldn't sleep even when I was with him, my mind never seemed to shut off long enough for me to sleep and while my eyes were closed I could still hear every little bit of activity around me. Elissa seemed to sleep at least when we were in the same room as Josh. I knew she always felt guilty whenever she woke up and saw me awake watching him. I think everyone knew I wasn't sleeping very well but I couldn't because if I happened to be able to fall asleep I was always taken back to the night that the gang jumped us, and I couldn't forget the way Josh had cried out in pain, how he'd told me he loved me only to tell Max to look after me 'just in case'. It haunted my dreams, and sometimes even my waking moments when my friends were sleeping next to me.

Josh received a lot of visitors. Most of whom were his family, his friends and myself as the guys made sure at least one of them visited everyday. He'd also had some visits from people he knows from other bands as well as some employees from Down But Not Out. I'd met Oli Sykes- who was wonderful and had stayed with me while Elissa went to get drinks and stuff for us- as well as some people from bands like Paramore, All Time Low, Blink-182, Kids In Glass Houses, The Blackout- Sean Smith had actually made me laugh, which made Elissa gasp since she hadn't heard me laugh before- as well as others who I actually couldn't remember off the top of my head.

The band had released statements on their website as well as their official Twitter page saying that Josh was in hospital after a stabbing. Words of encouragement and hopes that he would get better started flooding in within about five seconds of the statements being posted and some of the fans had even sent balloons- which Dan had blown up. It had been funny since he didn't have Josh's lungs- as well as cards and random presents. Now a week later the room was choc full of stuff and somehow people had managed to find out that I was Josh's girlfriend- so much for keeping that a secret- and I'd also had words of encouragement over Twitter, saying not to give up. Yeah like I would give up on the guy who had my heart.

Summer and Dan had put the apartment up for sale two days ago and Aaliya- bless her heart- had happily volunteered to show interested buyers our place, outside of her work hours. Marie phoned up everyday to see how I was doing since I told her I was with Josh, who was in the hospital- thank fuck she had no clue that Josh was my boyfriend as she didn't have Twitter and hadn't saw the fan's Tweets, nor did she check it but she knew what had happened of course, she just hadn't put two and two together yet. To be honest if it wasn't for my friends both here and back home, I don't know how I would've been able to be so strong when all I wanted to do was cry all of the time, but it wouldn't help Josh if I was constantly crying, and I couldn't do that to his family. Kate was taking it hard and whenever she was here- which was during the day mostly- I could see how puffy and red her eyes were from crying. Richard also showed signs of his distress because he seemed to have aged five years in just over a week. I knew it was hard for him, because he was being strong for his wife and daughter so me crying wouldn't help them out. I just did it when I showered or when I was on my own- which was rarely as Summer, Dan and Matt were usually with me.