In the Loving Arms of Servitude

23. Mordancy

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"Do you even know what happened???"

"I don't give a damn!!!... You should have called me!"

"...Then damn you!!! Arggghhh!!! You are so selfish and unreasonable!!!... Sometimes, I regret why I even married you!"

"...Why wouldn't you!!! Huh???... When you have all those whores chasing after you! If you want to cheat on me, just go right ahead!!! ...And stop looking for petty excuses!"

"You are insane, Amara!!! Now I know!!... You are damn crazy!!!"

"You think you have seen crazy?... I will show you crazy today!!!"

"You know what... I'm sick of you!! Get the hell out of my way!!"

"You are not going anywhere, Femi! #Sniffs... Until you kill me with your bare hands... you are going nowhere!!! #SNIFFS... You have already started, so you'd better finish it. #Sniffs... You'd better finish it, Femi!!"

"Aaarrrghhh!!! Damn it!... Damn you! Damn it all!!! What have I done to deserve this??? Huh???... All I ever did was love you! #SNIFFS... And time and time again, Amara... you made me regret that decision! #SNIFFS... No more! Now get the hell out of my way! Or I swear..."

"No!!!... Noooo!... #gasps #sniffs... You think you are the only one capable of love?... Huh???... Do you have ANY idea the kind of pain I go through every single day!!! Femi, do you think this is easy for me????... #SNIFFS... Do you think I don't hate myself for hurting you... #SNIFFS... every time?..."

"...Then let me go!!! Amara, just... just let me go. I don't care whatever it is that makes you act so cold. I just... I want out... #SNIFFS... I... I'm tired."

It is about 1:30am in the morning. And Uju is still wide awake on her bed, listening to their screams. She is utterly devastated. And she can not even begin to imagine the horrors that would follow, if Femi and Amara were to break up. 'My goodness!' Tobi would be crushed.
'Dear Lord!... Even if only for Tobi's sake, please let this family pull through.' she prays fervently within her mind.

Obiageli and uncle Obinna never had such terrible fights. They had their petty quarrels now and then, but they were birds of a feather; partners in crime; always united, both in good and in evil. Those two are soul mates. And they would rather die than be separated from each other. "Well, such is life. No one can ever have it all. It is a pity that such a kind couple as uncle Femi and aunty Amara is on the verge of a marital catastrophe, whereas Obiageli and uncle Obinna are living happily ever after." whispers Uju, almost subconsciously.
Back then, she had heard rumours within the family that uncle Obinna cheated on Obiageli once, and that in retaliation, she marched to the house of his mistress and emptied a container of hydrochloric acid on her face. They said that Obiageli was even arrested and charged to court for attempted murder, but was able to bribe her way out of the case.
'Hmm! That woman!' Uju exclaims. According to the story, no one else has seen or heard from the burned mistress ever since. Some say that she took her own life out of frustration. Others say that Obiageli finished her off using her occult powers. Some say that she went mad, started wandering the streets and never came back. Who knows?
Truth be told, some members of the Amaechi family still believe Obiageli practises witchcraft. They say she bewitched uncle Obinna into becoming her slave, such that he agrees with every decision she makes, and that she tries to steal the destinies of other children of the Amaechi family, with the aim of ensuring that no one else surpasses her own.
However, Uju's mother was said to be the only one who ever stood up to Obiageli; the only one who was never intimidated by her witchcraft. Uju's mother was also Nne's favourite child, and the first one to have a successful career at an oil company in Warri. Apparently, that was where she met Uju's father, whose identity no one knows till today. And allegedly, Obiageli loathed Uju's mother's success and wit so much, that she took part in the conjuring of the ghastly motor accident which claimed her life on 1st August, 2009.
That was the day Uju's life truly began, at age seven. She was moved to Imo state a month after, to live with her grandmother in the village.

All of a sudden, Uju realizes that all the yelling has stopped. She can no longer hear either of their voices. 'Could they have already settled?' she wonders. That would be a relief. '... Or did uncle Femi finally leave for good?... What on earth happened???'
Uju wants to go out and check so badly, but then decides that it is best to remain in her room, at least, until morning.
After a while of twisting and turning on her mattress, she eventually begins to fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning, both Mr and Mrs. Balogun are summoned by Father Paul, to the Parish office. Amara must have called him the night before, to seek his intervention in their dispute. The last thing she wants is for her marriage to crumble. If that happens, then it would mean that all her enemies have won; that they have finally succeeded in ruining her marriage; in ruining her life. Hence, with every ounce of might, she intends to salvage it at all costs.
My my! If Femi were to leave her, she would simply die of shame. All her jealous friends and family members would laugh her to scorn, like they did back when she could not bear a child. Oh, how they would mock her! How they would sneer and scoff at her failure! She would be the talk of the town; the talk of the church; the talk of her workplace. Amara and Femi always portrayed 'the perfect couple'. And right now, she can only imagine how much it would please a lot of people to find out that they are not so perfect after all. 'Dear God!' she exclaims within herself. Finally, people would see her cry. Finally, they would see her suffer. She would never be able to hold her head up high again. Some have always detested the fact that she acts so fulfilled and content with her life. How happy they would be now, to finally see her shamed. 'God forbid!' she exclaims again, within the innermost chambers of her consciousness.
And what about Tobi, her son? What would become of him, if she and Femi were to separate? It would simply destroy him. He is just a child. He does not deserve to be caught up in the middle of all this drama.

'What sort of mess have I created?' Amara reprimands herself within.

Things were not always like this. There was a time when they were all happy; when she loved Femi more than anything. But now, it almost feels as though her love for him just disappeared. No, it didn't disappear. It just grew weary, for some reason. She no longer feels any magnetic force pulling her towards him emotionally or sexually. She always believed that she simply became more prudish after child birth. But she has recently observed that for some reason, she can no longer even stand his touch. And it is not just for the sake of piety, like many would assume. There is something serious going on with her and she does not understand it. But it is much easier to blame it all on piety, stress and whatnot. She would rather be seen as a hypocrite, than shatter Femi's heart by telling him that she doesn't want him anymore, or that she isn't even sure she ever did.
Instead, she would rather try to change. She has to change. In fact, she is going to change. Amara immediately makes a resolution that from now on, she will do whatever it takes to make Femi happy; or at least, make him remember the good old times. Then finally, they both stop in the middle of the dimly lit hallway and she knocks on Fr. Paul's office door, with Femi standing by her side looking stauncher than ever. It is quite a miracle that he even came. He must have simply done it out of respect for Father Paul. 'Oh Lord... Please touch his heart.' Amara prays within herself, as she gently pushes the door open.

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