Living Dolls

15Carmen

Was I still stressed beyond belief? Absolutely.

Irene got me to help to relocate Ernest's shoulder, and honestly? I had never been so scared and disgusted all at the same time. I didn't even do much but help her reposition him, and she felt the need to actually teach me what she was doing. It frightened me since he was still down under, and I was afraid his wound would reopen, or that he'd wake up. He kept groaning and wincing, but never opened his eyes.

So far, this was the plan we had come up with, but it can definitely change once Ernest wakes up and assesses the situation. We need everyone's input.

We should need two pieces of rope left, the safest estimated fall. Though, we couldn't ask too much, Kyle had already voiced that Julien was seemingly getting a little paranoid. Heide and I will go down. It was a scary thought, having to climb down over fifty feet on tied pieces of rope, but I quite literally had no other choice. Kyle was disabled, Ernest was injured, and Irene was pregnant. Yeah, Heide could have gone alone, but not only did we not trust her with such a huge responsibility, but someone had to keep her safe as well.

This, of course, was by the chances that Julien didn't completely destroy us.

Strangely, it seemed that Heide and I were generally the ones most safe to tread out of the dollhouse. Heide, who before today, was the one covered in the most bruises, and me, who would be dangled in my worst nightmare.

Ernest, despite getting spared, was most definitely on Julien's bad side. Same went for Irene, she was belong lucky to have been partially spared from his tormenting rage, and we didn't want to risk him heading back to her. Kyle was not only basically incapable of heading out without help thanks to his broken wheelchair, but he was clearly fearful of the kid now. Heide and I were very much spared from his rage earlier this morning.

The pain was definitely setting into Kyle, wincing with every move he made. And especially since he was never quite used to the bruises that were usually inflicted upon the others, and he was already pretty fragile.

Irene was still trying to tend to both him and Ernest. She had given Kyle a painkiller and lots of water, and kept checking on Ernest. He was still there, beginning to wince and groan and shift whenever he was touched or spoken to, but he didn't respond. Honestly, I thought the longer he stayed out, the better. That shoulder and wound would hurt like a bitch once he woke up. Irene even said she expected him to have more injuries that she hadn't yet noticed, which was pretty concerning. She'd have to replace his bandages every once in awhile.

In between all that, the three of us kept trying to discuss what we thought about this rough draft of a plan we've come up with. Heide and I go down, roam around the house, find someone, get them to help, and we're saved.

A big problem was what we were gonna be before that. It was something we really didn't want to talk, hell, think about. I thought I was scared of this Julien, but whenever the mere ghost of a mention of him was hanged up, they'd stiffen, and I'd see the fear enter their eyes.

I understood, though. I mean, Irene was gonna soon deliver a quarter inch baby (if we hadn't reverted back to our original sizes by then) under this fucking dollhouse. I tried not to focus on it, because, like Irene was, I didn't really wanna believe it.

So, we hadn't come up with what to do from there. Again, the three adults weren't really down to even exit the dollhouse in fear of him returning. But, he had to come sooner or later, right? Just how the hell were we gonna deal with him?

Just a couple of minutes earlier, Heide had walked off, and when called out, softly said she was gonna get some air. It was taking awhile though, so it became a little difficult for me to stay in the hushed conversation of different factors. Finally, I stood myself up, and when they looked at me confusedly, I said, "I'm gonna go check on Heide." They seemed to understand instantly, as they set their jaws and nodded.

I spotted Heide right when I stepped outside, thanks to where she was, and my blood ran cold. She was sitting right at the edge of the table, her legs dangling, looking down at the surely looming and dangerous drop.

"Nononono! Heide!" I almost screeched out as I repeatedly tripped my way down the stairs in a rush, and I swore I saw the girl flinch. I just hated how chill she was with dangerous heights, it would always give me near heart attacks. "Get away from there, come over here!"

I wanted to go pull her back myself, but I stopped short near the edge, just enough so I wouldn't catch a single glimpse of the fall. Not yet, I can't be there yet.

Heide was still sitting the same, but turned her head to face me, "What?"

"Christ, Heide!" I cried, "Just come over here, it's dangerous over there!"

"But-"

"Heide! We don't have a rope!"

With a heavy sigh, she pulls back and jumps right to her feet, and I cringe, biting back a scream. Tiredly, she strolls back over towards me, and just stops, eyes closed. Eventually, she opens an eye and looks me up and down. "What?"

I frown, "What?"

"What'd you come out here for?"

I shrugged, flushing, "I don't know. To check up on you." I shifted my weight, "You've been out for awhile now, and... Are... Hm... Are you okay?"

Her voice was getting emptier and emptier the more she spoke. It's been that way since Ernest passed out, and it unnerved me. "I told you guys. I was scared."

"I-I know, but are you okay right now?"

She turned her head back out towards the rest of Julien's room, and I flushed more at her snide attempt of dodging the question. "It's getting late. Julien's still not back."

"Yeah, and that's why we need you inside, we're still trying to come up with ideas on what to do when he does come back." I snort, but she keeps her eyes on the bedroom, particularly over at the closed door. "He should be back soon, he has to sleep sometime. So, come on-"

She shook her head, "Not too sure. He ran away once."

I flinched, "What?"

"He was gone an entire weekend, until Alan found him down in the city with his old friend, five years ago. He told me just last month that he'd like to do it again." She sighed, "I don't know."

Honestly, for a second, I hoped that would be the case, but then I remembered that we needed him to get another wheelchair for Kyle. Shit. "Maybe, maybe not. But, Heide, it's still not safe out here. Come on back inside with us, everyone's worried."

I grabbed ahold of her hand, turning around to pull her along, but she was glued tight to her spot. I turned to her, and she was looking down at her feet. I felt her hand tremble against mine.

"... Heide, what's wrong?"

"I-I... I was s-scared..."

"How about now?"

"I was scared."

Her trembling was rubbing off on me. "Heide, it's okay. We were all scared, dammit. That's why we have to go back inside." I tried pulling her again, and she followed, but slowly. "Things'll..." I gulped, "Things'll be okay. You and me, we're gonna get down and help the others, and then you can go back to your fami-"

"No." She ripped her hand away from mine, and I flinched, looking back at her. She was shaking her head, narrowed but blank eyes at the floor. "No, no no no no..."

I was going pale, "Heide-"

"No." She cringed, grabbing fistfuls of her hair, "No-"

I took a heavy breath, before stepping over to her again, "Heide," I tried to sound annoyed but the shakiness was getting to my voice, "We can't play around, not now."

She was still shaking her head, "Play around-?"

"Playing pretend!" I almost shouted at her, and I had to stop myself from going off. The girl stopped in her shaking, eyes still narrow. "That's exactly what Irene and Ernest were doing, and that's why everyone's so upset! Didn't you hear what we were saying? We have to be honest with each other now." She finally looked up at me, and I took my chance to grab and pull down at her hand again, forcing her along towards the porch. "We need you to grow up."

Surprisingly, when my grip on her loosened, she pulled away, not to stop and turn back, but to go up the steps herself. I moved away, narrowed eyes up at her back.

There was silence for a long time, and Heide's breathing was soft. Finally, she spoke, her head tilting over but I still couldn't see her face with her hair.

"You don't think I've been trying?"

I felt my blood go cold at her cold words. Still, I remained still, frowning. She started moving forward again, before entering the dollhouse.

After a long, suffering silence, I released a heavy sigh and strolled down the other side of the table. I was back to shaking, and the weight that was already in my chest and on my shoulders just kept growing and growing. I kept pacing back and forth in the center of the table, running my hands over my face.

Five months.

I was still friends with Julien back then.

Four months. We have four months to do this.

There was a large single tremble, bigger than the rest, that ran up my body. In the midst of that, I felt some more shaking that wasn't just on my body, and the itch in my ear of a faint noise. I mistook it for just being me and my own wigged out senses, but it kept going. In fact, it got bigger. Confused, I lowered my hands, and just as I was beginning to look back at the dollhouse, I realized where it was coming from.

Outside the bedroom door.

My heart skipped a solid beat, where, in just a second, the noise got louder and the door slammed right open, letting the voices come through much louder.

The voice farther down was clear now that the door was open, but I couldn't focus on it, because I saw Julien storming right over towards me from the side of his door.

Julien was still in the same clothes but hair a bit messier. Face of a flushed red like earlier, and even if his glaring fogged up eyes weren't directly moving towards me, I still felt in danger. My heart hammered up against my chest, and wildly, I kept stepping away in fear, gasping and shaking my head.

Hurriedly, with the voice still following him, he grabbed ahold of the closet door, and I fell right back in my scramble to move away. I squeezed my eyes shut and tensed myself up in fear, and my body jolted as he pushed the closet door into a partial close, but, like usual, there was still a crack, big enough for us to look through.

Still cringing and shivering, I cracked open an eye, and then the voice that followed into the room finally processed itself into my mind.

"... Just told us, Julien!" It was a familiar man's voice, and stunned, I sit up. His footsteps were getting heavy as they followed after his son, though I noticed there was another two pairs of shoes following behind him, one clearly heels. "Are you truly this irresponsible? Because if you are, I don't know why I ever bothered." Narrowing my eyes and nervously getting up to my feet, I trod over to the edge of the table so I could get some sort of visual. "You haven't grown up a bit, have you? It's shameful, Julien. Shameful."

Julien was just starting to turn around to face his Father, and before he did, I saw the nervous look of desperation, a familiar one whenever dealing with his family, much different than his frustrated look when he stormed inside mere seconds ago. Ewald was standing close by, just having stopped coming closer with that earlier look of frustration now on his face. I could only make the other two out in the middle of Julien turning himself around. Alan's hands behind his back, Miruna hands laced over in front of her, both walking in and looking rather nervous.

I flinched when Julien cried out. Again, I was expecting his earlier sadistic and angry tone when he was throwing Kyle and Ernest around, but this was much different. Upset, but not angry, and he sounded more desperate than he looked, "I don't know how to control people like that! And I - I didn't even know this would happen!"

Ewald sounded more exasperated, "What did you expect, Julien?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little fatherly guidance? Like, just tell me. Hey, son," Now he was starting to sound more annoyed, "people are hard to control."

"You're apart of this family, aren't you? Why is it hard?"

Julien sputtered incoherently for a couple of seconds, before going back in his distress, "It's hard because they're people! How am I supposed to know what people want, and how to play with that, and how to get what I want out of them?" He spoke hastily before groaning and crying out, "I just need to talk to you guys, I need you to know what's going on, so you can understand, and help me!" Ewald was looking more infuriated with his reddening face by the minutes, and I'm sure Julien noticed, because he spoke faster, "Dad, I need you, I have something to say! I mean, none of this would have happened if-!"

Ewald spat, "If you were a real Anzo."

Julien froze right then and there, and from the side of his face, I could see his paling skin, his falling expression, his wide eyes. He wasn't even breathing.

"Ewald!" Both Alan and Miruna said, finally moving from their earlier statute like positions. Alan said his higher up's name in a concerned call, and Miruna said her husband's name in an enraged cry.

The man ignored the both of them, shaking his head disdainfully at the still stunned Julien. "I'm tired of acting like you are, when you're not. Not yet, dammit." He growled, "I can't believe I still have to shape you up. I'm not gonna carry you on my back, I'm tired of having to take care of you all the time."

Miruna spoke again, hissing, "Ewald!"

"If you don't want to shape up and become an Anzo, then remember, it's all gone, and you'll be nothing."

"Ewald!" It was Alan now, harsher than before as he took a step forward.

The man's eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance, and he took a glance back at the two. One final look at his son before he sighed, turning over as he followed the others out into the hall, "Just take care of it, Julien. Time to learn."

When the door closed, there was a tense silence, and as I stood by the edge, waiting, sweat beaded down my face.

Julien spoke in a whisper after long suffering moments of the silence.

"A... A real Anzo, huh?"

I flinched out of my own shock filled state, when Julien turned himself around, his fingers taking hold of the edge of the door quickly and roughly. The door pushed over to my right in its open, and gasping, I backed up wildly like before.

Once it was fully opened, arm still outstretched as it held onto the door, I was fearful for just a second to find those blank eyes right on me, and I found myself freezing right on the spot, in the middle of my backing up. His right hand planted right at the table, but he didn't hunch over closer.

And, stupidly, I just found myself staring right back at him. His eyes were completely drained, but I saw the glistening of tears growing ever so faintly. Jaw clenched, a tense frown was painted over his face, and his eyebrows were starting to furrow in upset. His breathing was tense and heavy, and I wondered how long he was gonna try keeping up this tough face.

It was painful to see. Really. It was painful to see this kid I've known for so long as... This. It was painful knowing that I never saw it before, that I was never able to help him and the others. He was falling, hard, and I've never seen him fall before.

Disappointment, resentment, worry. I wasn't even sure how I felt anymore.

There were tears building in my eyes. I just couldn't help it, especially as he kept deepening his frown. And, without being prompted to, I spoke.

"I wonder," I said, softly but just loud enough for him to hear, as I shook my head, "If I'll ever recognize you anymore."

And just like that, he crumbled, softening and shoulders and head lowering with a deep sigh, as the tears easily slipped down his face. Groaning softly, he rose his hand to wipe at them with his sleeve, and when he spoke, I didn't flinch. "What are you doing out here, by yourself?"

I replied, "They're inside the dollhouse, resting up."

He sniffed, continuing to wipe at his eyes, "Are they okay?" He asked, and I rose an eyebrow.

"Um..."

"Irene."

"She's real shaken up."

"Kyle."

"He's real bruised up and upset. He can't get around, you broke his wheelchair."

"Er... Ernest."

"He's down under, but he's breathing. He's bruised all over, got a dislocated shoulder, and Irene had to stitch up the wound at his side."

"Heide."

"She's pretty upset, I can tell. She's not really talking."

"Carmen."

"Upset. Very upset."

"The... The baby."

"Fine. And hopefully, they stay that way."

Thumb still rubbing under his eye, he looked over to the dollhouse, mulling something over. Finally, he closed his eyes, "Heide." He said, and I tilted my head, "Bring out Heide."

And, again, my heart stopped, before speeding up. "What the hell?" I spat, narrowing my eyes up at him, "You don't need Heide. We're all inside trying to take care of Ernest, and it's getting late, you two have to sleep and-"

"Bring out Heide."

"No!" I cried, and my knees started shaking. Like hell I'd let him hurt someone else.

I was expecting him to go red in anger, but he remained the same, trying to look drained as he kept sniffing and pushing his hair back, "Carmen," That was enough to make me flinch. "Please, just bring Heide."

"You-!"

"I always listened when you called me to bring Tiffany out to talk to you, even if I knew she really didn't want to." At that, I held my breath. "So, please, help bring my little miss out here."

Shaking wildly in fear, I was just beginning to come up with something else to say before I heard the front door of the dollhouse slam itself open. Narrowing my eyes, I looked over, to find Heide already stepping her way calmly down the stairs and over to me.

"H-Heide..." I hissed under my breath, desperate as she walked over, eyes downcast. "G-Go back inside and-"

She spoke, soft, just enough for me to hear, "Go back inside, Carmen."

"W-What-?"

"Just go back inside. Trust me. It'll be fine."

I was stunned and angry, but when I looked back and forth between the two younger teens, eerily calm, I found my chest loosening. I bit my lip, and when I felt Heide grab my hand, I pulled away and hurried over to the dollhouse.

Before entering, I heard Julien speak, tone back to teasing, but there was still a held in sadness taking over most of it.

"Miss me?"