Living Dolls

27Ernest

"Heide? HEIDE! Where are you going!?"

I was annoyed enough that she went outside to try seeing Julien when she had to rest, and now her ignoring me and continuing her quick rush to the storage room was getting me mad. I decided to wait, but when I heard her knocking things over in the storage room, I groaned, getting up to my feet.

"OKAY!" I huffed, hurrying to the storage room by the staircase. Leaning at the door frame, my frown only deepened when I saw her trying to drag one of the many boxes out from the corner of the room, "Heide, what are you doing?"

She ignored me, swinging the box closer to the door before starting to drag out another.

Okay, Heide did a lot of annoying things, but now she was starting to ignore me.

Stepping over the box, I went over and tried to pull her up by her arm, but she still didn't look at me. Scowling, I asked, "What are you looking for? I can help you look for it if you just ask."

"I'm not..." She tried to pull away from me, "I'm not looking for something."

"Then what are you doing?"

She pulled herself away from my grasp and went back to pulling out the second box.

"Okay." I grabbed her arm even tighter, pulling even harder. She let go out of the box, and still sitting on the floor, let me drag her towards the door.

"Ernest..." She made a whining noise, "I need to clean this room!"

"Dragging the boxes out isn't cleaning the room, Heide! Plus, it's already all cleaned, we reorganized just last month!"

"Okay, not cleaned!" She was finally trying to get up to her feet, and already out of the small room, I let her, though I was sure to still be holding her by the arm. "I need to take everything out!"

"... What? Why?"

She didn't answer, she just tried to pull away again and looked back at the storage room, and I wondered whether or not asking her about it some more would get me an answer, whether this was a futile battle or not.

Hesitating for a moment, I decided to let go of her arm, and she scampered back into the storage room to resume pulling boxes out of their place, kneeling down with her back facing me. Sighing, I went to the doorframe again, leaning against it, "So, you're still not gonna tell me why, huh?"

She actually halted, hands still on the second box. "I... Don't know." She hung her head. "I don't... I can't tell you!"

My eyes narrowed, "Excuse me?"

"Wha - no! Not like that! I can't tell you, I can't tell anyone, I can't even tell myself!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

She was quiet again. Sighing, I walked in, kneeling down beside her, "Is Julien telling you to do this?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Then why'd you hurry in to do this as soon as he left?"

"Ernest, I said...!" She hunched over, grabbing a fistful of her short hair, "I... I can't...!"

I let myself stay silent for a minute, and the whole time, she didn't move either. Maybe that's all I had to do, just sit here with her and she'd rest? But I knew I couldn't stick with that. "... Okay... So... Where are we gonna put everything then?"

"Huh?" She turned her head to look back at me, an eyebrow raised.

"You can't just throw everything out in the hall, Heide." I glanced back at the box she already moved halfway out the door. "We put a bunch of things here for a reason, they don't fit anywhere else, and we need to keep everything clear in the living room for Kyle to get around."

She's looking around the room, thinking.

My knees hurting, I decided to sit down. "So, you want everything out of here and-"

"Not everything."

"Hm?"

"I said not everything." She kept looking around. "Like, the... The drawers." She nodded to the two drawers that we had filled with tools and crafts. "That can stay. But, we have to take all the stuff out..."

This only confused me more. So this wasn't some random, manic project. She had some sort of semblance of a plan. "... Okay. Then where do we put everything else?" I looked at all the labeled boxes. "This is our only spare room." Originally, the only bedrooms were the four upstairs, the two on the main floor were primarily used for storage. When Kyle came along, we had to squeeze all of it in the much smaller room here by the staircase to give him a more accessible bedroom. "Well? Where are we gonna put everything?"

"Ernest, we more rooms farther down over there!" We did, but they were, big shock, much too big a scale for us, a more basic dollhouse he probably made with his own hands in school with shoddy materials. Jules had to have had them there primarily for decoration.

"We're gonna go down there whenever we need something?" I asked, and she was back to whining and grumbling, hiding her face. I sighed, "Okay, okay, okay. We could put it right out back, next to the sink. You're gonna have to help me stack everything up nicely because it's not... Gonna look nice."

She was alert again. Without a word to me, she grabbed the box again.

"BUT!" I reached for her shoulder, "You have to sleep first."

"I slept all night!" I had to doubt that, she always stayed up. She wasn't even sleeping just a while ago as Irene told her to, she was just lying there, never closed her eyes once.

"For an hour and a half. Sleep - and I mean sleep-" I added with clenched teeth, "For an hour and a half, and then we can take everything out! If you still want to, that is." And by God, I hoped she was out of it when she woke up, because I was not looking forward to redecorating for no real reason.

She looked like she was considering, pouting and looking at the box she was holding onto. "... Can I sleep in the living room with you guys?"

I scowl, "Then you won't sleep, you'd be too busy looking at us and listening to us!"

Shaking her head, she straightened herself up, looking at me, "No, I'll sleep. I mean... I'll try."

... You know what? I'll take it. "Come on, then." I stood up, offering my hand to help her up, and she took it. As I turned to head out the door, I tried to let go, but she was still holding on but refusing to move. Confused, I look back at her, and found her staring at my hand, specifically at my mostly covered wrist.

Seeing where she was trying to look, I frowned, "Heide, I told you-"

"I remembered something else." Her eyes were soft, and though she was looking at the sliver of my exposed wrist, she still looked like she was looking far away. With her other hand, she pressed down at my wrist, "He had something on his wrist."

My mouth went dry.

"It doesn't look like any of yours, though." She actually smiled, "It was just one, and it looked way different and kind of funny." She looked up at me with that smile, as if expecting me to say something, maybe congratulate her for remembering such a thing.

But, I couldn't.

After a long silence, I wet my lips with a gulp, and I wondered if she felt my hand shaking. "... Come on." I turned towards the door, pulling her along. "You need to rest."

I led her back to the living room, and she quickly let go and jumped right at the couch she was on earlier, wrapping the blankets around her and lying down, head buried. And I found myself stepping backward, more and more until I hit a wall. I closed my eyes, my breathing getting tense.

Did she know she was doing that? I talked about it with Irene last night, after what happened a few hours before. She was talking about grandparents, and how she didn't have any on her dad's side. He has no parents she speculated, okay, that's fine. But no, she said 'like Ernest'.

For the longest time, I knew. I talked to her about this just last month, so she knew, too. That didn't make any of this any easier, though, and hearing things like that only reminded me more of what was going to happen should we get out of here.

I was scared with all of them. Carmen's family, Kyle's family, and by God, Irene's family. It terrified me to no end, even though I knew by now I should have nothing to envy, nothing to be scared of, nothing to be intimidated by.

But with Heide's family, her real dad in particular...

There was really something I feared.

Maybe even more than I feared Julien.

When I opened my eyes, I found Kyle and Irene, looking over at me, like I was crazy. I was startled right out of my skin, and when I saw Kyle begin to form words, my already lingering fear shot up.

"Huh." I took the first distraction I could find. Pointing to the clock, I nodded at Kyle. "Past noon."

Distracted, he looked at it, and instantly deflated with a scowl.

Taking a glance at Heide, making sure she was still trying to sleep, I quietly stepped back towards the stairs, "Got it."

Normally, I wouldn't be one to try to get her out of whatever bad, depressive mood she finds herself in the morning. Kyle was better at that, and quite suddenly, I might add. But I wasn't exactly looking forward to getting him up there. Irene already tried this morning, Heide might have done more harm than good.

So, I went upstairs, and the second I was in front of her door I suddenly lost all my confidence, the very few I was left with at the moment.

... Well, shit.

Guess I was just gonna feel like shit for the entire day, huh? Definitely wasn't gonna get better when Julien gets back.

With a tremor in my knees, I hesitantly knocked at her door.

She didn't answer. Of course. What was I expecting?

One more knock. "... Okay. I'm coming in." Still hesitating a bit, I opened up the door. She never ever had the light on, and it was even darker in here, in the entire house in fact, because Julien's had the door mostly shut since Ewald took him somewhere.

So, I thought it was a trick of the dark. Upon squinting more and more, I found that, nope, she really wasn't in bed.

"What." I took a step in, narrow-eyed. "The hell."

A groan came from the other side of her bed, between it and the wall.

Oh, there she was.

I walked over closer, leaning over her bed to find her curled up on the floor. She was completely wrapped in a blanket of course, but that didn't exactly help. Frowning, I stepped back and crossed my arms over my chest, "I don't think you were on the floor when Irene came in, she would have mentioned that."

The blankets tightened around her, a groan coming from the bundle, "I fell and couldn't get up."

"You moved enough to wrap yourself like that. I thought that look was, um... What'd you call it? Kyle aesthetic?"

"Stoppp!" Just like that, she sat right up. Confused, I tilted my head, and she just ripped the blanket off her head and covered her eyes. "Don't use my words like that! It's so weird!"

"Pretty weird that you're on the floor." Completely ignoring my brief meltdown on the floor three hours ago. "So, all that about being sick was a lie? You might get sick if you stay there."

She lowered her hands and turned to look at me, eyes that were still ridden with sleep narrowed, and nose scrunched up. "... Yeah, well." Rolling her eyes, she got up to her feet, plopping right onto her bed right after, "I'd take being sick if it meant I could stay in here forever." That was... concerning. She just recently started coming along, and I didn't want it to go back, but still, I had nothing to say. "What happened? I heard Julien earlier, but I covered my ears with my pillow and screamed so I wouldn't have to hear him."

"... It wasn't just Jules." I sighed, and she furrowed a brow up at me. I took a seat on her bed, and she sat back up. "He came back with Heide around three hours ago, and Ewald came in right after, but he didn't see us. Just this... Damn dollhouse." I grimaced, and she made the same face. "Jules left with him, and he just came back to... Say something really quick to Heide I guess, and he's gone again."

"Gone where?"

"I don't... I don't know. Ewald mentioned going to the office, but Julien was just here and left again. It's probably... Something big. Maybe we can ask Heide later, but I'm making her take a long nap right now and then after she wants to do something really dumb."

"So... Anything she's ever wanted to do ever?"

I snickered, "Well, yeah, but no. She wants to empty the storage room. I have no idea why, but... If she still wants to when she wakes up, gotta do it."

"You could have fun with that. I didn't sign up for that."

"You at least gonna come with us downstairs then?" That didn't please her. Groaning, she lied back again and rolled over to face away from me. My chest started to ache, and I realized I didn't know what to say or do. Not really, anyway. Experience told me I couldn't grab her like I do Heide, but talking to her wasn't the easiest, so... "Irene knows you're not sick - you should know by now that you can't fool her. And Kyle wanted you downstairs with everyone by noon, and it's past noon, so..."

Silence.

... Maybe her nickname would help? "Carmel, if... If you're worried about Jules, Carmel, don't be. I think... He's gonna be gone a while and..."

I had nothing else. Jules is gone now, yeah, but what happens when he comes back? Apart from my general fear of him targeting me after being with his real dad all day, that was nothing compared to Carmen. Jules wouldn't be "normal" with her, she actually knifed him, and I couldn't imagine he'd leave it be. He might leave it be when he comes, even days after, but I know him, I know damn well he'll be waiting to use it as a reason for something.

"... God." I groaned, hunching over. Now I was just as upset. "Why did you do that...?"

She seemed to instantly know what I was referring to, even after a pause, "... He was holding me, he was pissing me off. So, I-"

"And then what? And then what was your plan? You can't run away with that, he'd catch you the second you start running! What if he clenched his hand on you completely? What if his ankle didn't break your fall? And what if - what if his phone didn't ring? What were you gonna do then?" I was trying and succeeding at being calm at this point, but each question got louder as my chest built up more and more. "You know how he is! Were you trying to get yourself killed? You have to think of the consequences before-!"

"Oh." She actually spurted a little laugh, "That is gold coming from you."

Sitting up, I narrowed my eyes at her, "Shu-!" I had to bite my tongue, clenching my teeth and struggling to shut the hell up. Cheeks puffed and red, I sat with my hands grabbing on right to the sheets under me, before I took the slowest, heaviest breath out. Carmen was quiet the entire time, turned the other side. "... I just..." I deflated, hunching over again, "Need you to be more careful."

We both were silent for a good minute.

"... Well, you're right about that." She turned over again, lying on her back, looking up at the ceiling blankly. "Because I wasn't even thinking about Julien."

"Huh?"

"Not sleeping last night, not getting up for breakfast... That had nothing to do with Jules, but it should have been. It really should have been..."

If this was her way of explaining things, it was bad, because it just gave me more questions. "What the - what?" I turned over to her, and she closed her eyes with a smirk. "Then what the hell was all this for!?"

"Nothing." She sat up, looking for her slippers under her bed. "It's nothing."

"Carmen!" I hissed, and she just smiled more. "If you don't tell me... Then I'm telling Kyle and Irene that you're hiding something!"

She wasn't dumb. "Because you don't know what to do?"

"... Y-Yes...?"

She sighed, and I turned away again, ashamed. "... I mean, that makes the both of us... I was just..." She was quiet again, slippers on, but she remained seated, kicking her feet back and forth and dragging them along the floor in thought. "Homesick. That's it."

I nodded, slowly, but I didn't get it at all. I mean, I did. Of course I did. It's just that she didn't talk much about going back, just about us going back, but I haven't heard her talk about it in regards to her very much.

"That's all it was. Just - having my head pounding from yesterday didn't help, and I was trying to catch up on sleep, but I got enough sleep now. I'll be down in a minute."

I hesitated, before getting up and heading out of the room. On the way out, though, just about to close the door, I stopped in my tracks.

"... What?"

I almost grimaced, trying to find the words. "I just... You know, if you ever w-want to, um, talk-"

"Get out."

I got out.

She was right. I didn't know what to do. But I knew she didn't know what to do, either, and it was so stupid of me to keep expecting one of us to try first. It wasn't going to be as easy as it was with Heide.

Still.

I got out.

When I got downstairs, Irene and Kyle, in the middle of what looked like double solitaire on the coffee table, looked up at me and suddenly seemed none too pleased at seeing the absence of Carmen. "She'll be down in a minute." I whispered to them, none too pleased myself. Walking in the living room, I kept my head tilted to try seeing Heide, and was surprised to see her sleeping. Well, she looked like she was sleeping, the blanket was covering her face. Drawing nearer, I reached over to check closer, but Irene quickly hissed for me to stop, so I took that as confirmation that she was sleeping.

Still, we were gonna have to be quiet to keep her asleep for over an hour, I realized as I sat down next to Irene. Shit. Maybe I should have made her sleep in her room. But then, I knew, she wouldn't be able to sleep because she's "lonely", so there was just no winning with her.

Carmen soon came downstairs, the three of us looking over to her, but I had to instantly signal for her to be quiet. She glared at me, but she slowed her steps, looking over to the other couch as she walked in. Rolling her eyes at the sleeping girl, she took the empty spot next to me.

With her head leaned back, she quietly asked, "She needs to wake up, so I can ask if she knows when Julien is coming back."

"He's not here right now," Irene whispered to her, still in the middle of a game with Kyle. "That's enough right now."

Kyle's nervous eyes kept flicking back at the windows. "Still. It's pretty scary when he always barges in, so at least we'd be more prepared if we knew..."

With a heavy weight settling over my shoulders and right into my chest, I stared off at the windows that only showed the dark closet door.

"And if we knew where and what he was doing, then we'd be better at preparing for whatever mood he's in... Especially since he's probably with Ewald, it can't be good..."

His dad, too.

It kept getting heavier and heavier, and so, I closed my eyes, wanting so much to sleep just as Heide was.

Because the thought of Julien's dad scared me just as much.