The Truth About Emma Swan - COMPLETED BUT UNDER EDITING

Part 1- Understand Me:

My life, sometimes, used to be too much for me too handle.

It used to be one odd problem, and now, now it's numerous.

Get help you say?

That's what they all say.

That's all who I know says to me.

Who can see through my cracked skin, they'll just some say "talk to Archie, book an appointment" but, can I really do that?

The thing is, is that sometimes I don't know what to do, or what I expect in life, and I don't know what will happen if I keep living this way, trapped in this town, surrounded by people I continuosly lie too, I don't what'll happen if I do.

I can't even start to imagine it.

I can't even start to imagine how bad it'll eventually get, how bad and how much I'll hurt everybody if I start talking and taking it out on them.

Just because I simply have no control over everything.

Over all my emotions which will ricochet at them if I dare open my mouth and start saying them.

I don't really understand why everyone thinks I'm just "the savior" "the product of true love." No one sees me for what I could be, and the fact that I'm just not what everyone assumes and sees, I'm completely different, I'm better.

I'm so much better than they think that I am, then what they see. They see me catching criminals, saving the town, the whole town, and in her own time, just sips her hot cocoa and does nothing, nothing at all.

No one ever realizes how much more I could be, how much I could do. I don't want to be just known for my powers. My powers of lie detection, all the crazy things I can do with my hands and my healing powers.

I want to be known for something more.

Anything, something, something that could change someone's life, change everyone's life, change just what they think about me, change it all for the better.

I can heal anyone and anything but when it comes to myself, I can't heal myself.

I can't heal my problems, I can't run away. Everyone Relies on me, to save Storybrooke. My home.

I have a family in Storybrooke who love me but don't understand. There's always something which no one understands. Something which no one can feel, no one can actually help me with.

I can't keep lying to them to hide my feelings because it's all killing me inside to even think about those thoughts which I keep concealed, for the overfearment of breaking them if I dare to speak of them, dare to talk about my problems, dare to take that step.

I can't hurt them and tell them all that's hurting me inside, because it would simply kill them.

My parents wouldn't understand, they have great life's and I bet they never feel even a nano second in comparison to what I'm thinking and feeling.

So, I can't break them.

I can't make them feel like that, just to make me feel better.

So, I need to ignore everything, pretend it's all okay as I usually do.

Pretending is better than telling everyone your feelings that will kill them if they ever find out, or ever get to know.

Even half of my feelings would in fact kill them, so I can never say.

I can never tell them.

They can never, and I mean never know.

At all.

Not one bit.

Not even Killian.

And, I've been feeling different, worse recently, so maybe it's time to do what I've been thinking about...