The Truth About Emma Swan - COMPLETED BUT UNDER EDITING

Part 74 - Hiding Away

I'm not worth anything. I'm not doing anything for Emma which her parents can't do, so she'll be fine without them, I'm sure she will, she has to be.

She is strong, Emma is so so strong and she doesn't need a pirate to tell her that and hold her hand, she can have the couple of true love do that for her instead, that's better for her, it will be better for her.

I headed out of the hospital and walked past everyone, avoiding eye contact with every person who passed me, walking as quick as I could, down main street past everyone and all the looks and stares, not saying a word. I have nothing to say to them. "Hey Killian, slow down you'll hurt yourself." I slowly lifted my head to see Belle stood in front of me, attempting to piece everything together.

"Not now Belle." I gritted my teeth to stop me from spilling out all my emotions at once, the ones which had been bottling and bottling up for ages, the ones which needed to come out. "Killian what happened?" She stopped to think and saw the fiery tears building in my eyes. "Did something happen to Emma?" She hesitated on her words, scared and shocked to ask.

"No Emma's fine." I tucked my hand deep into my pocket. "Look Belle," I ran a hand though my hair agitated with a mix of other emotions, "I really need to go, please." I watched as she smiled, confused but aiding my wishes. "Don't worry about it, just be careful yeah?" She smiled a large smile at me, "just let me know how Emma is okay?"

Just let me know how Emma is. Just let me know. If only it was that simple. That is all which anyone asks of me in this town and it's not that simple. I can't just "give them updates" it's not what I should be doing. I should be finding a way to get her back, and to be the best and do the best for her, just like I'm doing now.

"Okay, will do." I continued walking down main street, right past all the memorable places and kept my head down. The last thing I needed was memories like this. I sighed as I passed every place in Storybrooke, every array of memories, becoming blurry as my eyes clouded with the tears which took over me.

Memories. Memories are just stories, and right about now, I don't want to see them, I don't want to see the memories. I want to be making them. Is that too much to ask? Me and Emma have fought so hard, we're fighting life until this moment, we were together, but now I've left her.

It should be different.

This shouldn't be happening. Me and Emma should be fighting together, not seperatly, but I did it for her. I left for her, it doesn't seem like it, but it's for her, everything's for her. Everything I did, and do now, is for her.

I took a deep breath as I walked over to the shore and stepped onto the Jolly Roger, making my way to the deck with the steering wheel, leaving my head on it, looking into the sea.

One ripple can make a huge difference even though it seems small.

That's what Liam taught me before he died. That's the thing I carry with me. His most important words, which grow even more important every day which I live.

I sighed a long heavy sigh before my box vibrated and I pulled it out my pocket. Unsurprisingly it was David, ringing for the fifth time since I left, trying to get me back.

I thumbed my fingers around the box before deciding to tap answer in an attempt to get him to leave me alone. "Killian! Thank god!" I heard his sighed tone full of relief cast across his voice. "Mm. Yeah." I leant against the rail, in a attempt to stop myself from walking around back and forth.

"Kill! You need to come back, think about it!" I took a deep breath before I answered. "What do you think I've been thinking about since I left?" I placed my hook on my hip. "I'm sorry, but I'm not coming back, I can't! I'm just making it worse for her." I kept my mouth clenched tight to attempt to stop the tears in which were building up inside of me. "Killian, this isn't for the best, she needs you!"

"And I need her, but she has to let me go." I took a deep breath and looked around, only just noticing the stars in which were forming in the night sky above me. "Look, it's late, go to sleep, goodnight." I sighed before taking one last breath as David tried to talk again, but I cut him off, my tears consuming me.

"Why is nothing ever simple?" I sighed and headed below the deck, placing the box by the side of me and hiding my head inside my duvet, a block from the world as much as I could.
~
"Eugh." I awoke to a banging in my head as I looked around the room. It was still dark in the room but I got out the bed and hoped it was morning as the curtain blocked out all the sunlight when I used them previously.

"Come on be morning already." I rubbed my eyes and pulled the curtain rail across with my hook and peered outside. "And no. Typical." I mumbled my words as I leant my whole head out the window as the cool air hit it. "What time is it?" I looked around outside then back inside twice before my head cycled back to the box on the side as I clicked the home button.

"Bloody hell." I peered at the time which brightened the whole of the box's screen. "5am." I mumbled before sitting down on the edge of the bed and scrolling through the 20 missed calls from Snow, David and a couple from Henry. I sighed and sat back on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall as I wrapped my arms around my knees.

A day of missed calls is all I have to look forward too.

Day after day, until it turns into a week is all I have to look forward too.