The Truth About Emma Swan - COMPLETED BUT UNDER EDITING

Part 69- Counting The Nights Pass Me By

Both Snow and David stayed the night over in the hospital in an attempt to keep me reassured and they tried and tried but it didn't work.

It was still dark outside when I woke up, on the floor next to Emma's bed as I had given the sofa to Snow and David and I sat up quickly of the floor, my eyes stinging with the tears and my head pounding faster and faster, quicker and quicker continuously with the sound of my own heartbeat as I sat on the floor.

"Hey, sweetie are you okay?" I heard Snow's voice coming from the sofa as I heard her sit and yawn. I nodded even though it was pitch black and I couldn't see her, and faked my emotions as my voice trembled back. "Y..yeah I'm fine, just go back to sleep." I took a deep breath and sniffed away my fears and sadness.

I heard Snow move of the sofa and David start snoring as she moved her body away from his grip. I sat and wiped away my tears and sat up and took a deep breath, attempting to regain my long lost composure, trying to drag it back to me.

Snow turned on the lamp next to the bed and sat next to me, still yawning occasionally. "You can't lie to me Killian, your just as bad as David is as not snoring at night." She laughed and I fake laughed back, trying to not show her how broken I really am and how I was going to become. "I'm okay Snow, I'm just hanging myself on."

 She pulled me into a hug. "Just another one of those sleepless nights ey?" I nodded and rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm just counting the nights pass me by again." She sighed. "I bet you find yourself doing that often now don't you?" I took a deep breath. "I just want to hold her tight again Snow, I.." I broke down and couldn't complete my sentence, completely broken.

"Hey, hey it's okay Killian I understand." I heard David move of the sofa and I lifted my head of Snow's shoulder and watched him stumble over. He sat on the floor next to Snow and I watched as he took her hand and kissed her cheek. He then patted me on the back and I sat and watched him, sighing a little as the tears dropped of my cheeks landing on my t shirt. 

"It's okay, you need to let it out mate, you need to take a deep breath and stop for a minute before you get trapped on this roller coaster. Take a deep breath and count to ten." I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away. "There you go, try and get some rest and we'll be here in the morning okay?" I nodded and watched them make their way back to the bed as I turned of the lamp and lied down, taking another deep breath and closing my eyes.

I woke up the next morning as I heard David's alarm on his phone ring repetitively in the same annoying tone. I sat up of the floor and stretched, rubbing my eyes before walking over to the bathroom and sitting on the edge of the bath tub, stretching and yawning, trying to wake myself up after a sleepless night once again.

I heard the alarm stop and I heard David and Snow move of the sofa and talk softly amongst themselves. I rubbed my eyes and looked into the mirror examining the bags underneath my eyes and my stubble which was growing out in an odd shape on my face, making me look as almost as unpresentable as I thought I could get to.

I didn't think that I could get this low. I didn't think that it would get to this stage that Emma is now fighting cancer in her stomach and after a year still isn't back with me. I've not seen her beautiful eyes for so long, sometimes I forget what they look like and God, her laugh. It's like heaven on Earth. I just want to hear her laugh God damn it. I just want to hear my Emma's laugh, is that too much to ask?

"Killian?" I heard David's voice as I rubbed my stubble on my face, hoping it just would dissaper. "Yeah, I'm in here." I sighed as I spoke, still yawning. "You okay in there?" I heard Snows sweet voice through the door and it made me feel sad, as through the door it sounded like Emma. Everything seems to remind me of Emma.

I nodded my head after she answered, forgetting she couldn't see me. "Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'll be back in in a minute, I'm just washing myself up." I heard her speak back in a high tone. "Yes okay sweetie, I'll get you a drink." I heard the door shut and I walked out of the bathroom, left in the room alone with Emma.

I stood in the bathroom doorway for a couple of minutes looking out into the room, not knowing whether I should go in and see her or if I did, if it would kill me inside again. I shrugged my shoulders and contemplated in doing so, knowing that I had to go up to her, no matter if it killed me.

"Hey Em..." I walked up to her and rubbed her cheek as I sat down on the edge of the bed. "How are you?" I sighed. "Apart from the cancer of course." I tried to crack another one of my jokes and hoped it would cheer me up but it didn't. I thought maybe I'd smile for the first time in forever.

I rubbed her cheek and squeezed her cold hand. "Oh Emma. I wish you were here." I kissed her neck. "I just need someone to talk to about everything." I took a deep breath as I felt the tears creep down my face. "I just need you to tell me it's all going to be okay." I rubbed my eyes. "I love you so much."

I crouched over the edge of bed and waited a while, hoping that she would finally wake up and talk to me like I had hoped for the past year. One wish, is that too much to ask? The world is not a wish granting factory and I'm learning this the hard way.

One wish, as the world is going by, one wish. It's all I want. It's all everyone wants. For the saviour to come back, for the love of my life to come back to me. The thing is, if it was going to happen, would it have already?