All Of Me

Chapter Sixteen

It's been days, weeks since I saw the crazy but the wonderful man Nicholas. He's been calling me and texting me several times but I can't answer. I dare not. I don't understand him. I am about to break down but I can't, I must focus on my degree, because I take my exam tomorrow.  I'm on the train to Stockholm. My best friend Felicia has moved to Stockholm. Her father is the kindest and the richest one. He bought her an apartment, near the center of Stockholm. Since we both have been busy with mad men, exams and moving I will finally meet her. God, how I missed her. 

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Felicia brings out two cups of tea. 

- "God, I'm so glad you came here" she says, smiling. She gives me a cup and I take a sip of my tea. 

- "Yes, and what a nice apartment you got," I say, smiling. 

- "Seriously, Gabriella. I know we haven't seen each other for a long time but you are exceptionally thin since we last met, your big boobs looks unnatural. Are you trying to lose weight? "says Felicia and looks at me when she leans over the kitchen counter. Oh, my goodness she has her own way of expressing things. I take a sigh.  "Is it the British multimillionaire? You don't see him anymore? Don't you?" She screams, and it makes me jump. 

- "I haven't seen him at least for three weeks" I say, sobbing. No, I can't cry. Not now. I already had cried a lot. 

- "Why didn't you say something, what happened? " she says and she takes a chair and sits down next to me and puts her arm around me, to show her support. Oh, I love her.

- "His ex came by when I was with him. He turned his apartment upside down. I thought they were over but apparently not so I left, " I say. Maybe it was not quite that. But how should I put it, I don't know....I don't think I want to tell her all about his weird sex stuff.

- "What do you mean not over?" she asks.

- "Well, don't you understand? They promised each other not to have sex with others, and so he met me and had sex with me and she's quite angry about that"I say and sigh.

- "You know, never trust a millionaire. They are singles for a reason." said Felicia with a laugh, and it makes me laugh. But amidst all laughing someone is calling my phone, I check who it is. It's a number I don't recognize but I answer.

- "Hello?" I say.

- "Gabriella! Is that you? "I hear a familiar voice say. But I can not place it.

- "Yes," I answer.

- "It's Sam, I know it sounds weird but I have to talk to you. If you near by the hospital, we can talk inside my office, "says Sam. Oh, no, not brother number two.

- "I don't know" I say and look at Felicia.

- "Please, this is good for you. Gabriella, please, "he says.

- "Okay I'll be there in fifteen minutes," I say and hang up. Felicia looks at me.

- "It was Nicholas's brother, I must meet him, it's serious," I say.

- "Please, do what  ever you want to do. I just want to see you happy that's all" she says and gives me a big hug. And then I start crying again.

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I'm standing outside Sam's office. I knock on the door and he opens.

- "Hi Gabriella," he says, and I nod at him and I go into his office. Last time I was here it was with Nicholas, Oh god, I miss my Nicholas.

"So, what was it you wanted?" I ask and sit on the bench. My legs are too wobbly to stand on.

"Okay before you interrupt me, I must say that I see you've lost some weight, it's dangerous, and if Nicholas finds out about this," he says, and just when I interrupt him.

"I don't think he cares actually," I say, and the anger boiling in me.

"Then we have different opinions, Gabriella. " he says and take a deep breath. " I'm not here to defend my brother, but to explain my brother's actions, it might help you understand a little. I've known about this Serena for a few years now. When I was in London, I was going into Nicholas old apartment and I come across them. Not a pretty sight. They have been doing this since he was in his early twenties. What I understand of it is that they have agreements with each other that they will have sex with each other when they want it and need it. . Anyway, my brother has a lot of problems with himself. He is his worst enemy, that's why he became so crazy in the apartment last time. He became so angry with himself and that bitch destroys him too. My brother has had every chance to get away from her fucking agreement but she has tricked him every time. When I saw him in the apartment after you left, I have never seen my adult brother with bloody hands sit and cry in the middle of his living room, he was broken. You make him open his eyes and live his life, that many other young men wants to live. Please believe me, I know I can't make things better, but for your sake and his, please talk about it. My brother has had it tough and he has a hard time to put his feelings in words, but with you, he can do that, please Gabriella, give me my brother a chance. Everyone he knew has already betrayed him, don't do it you too, "says Sam. Oh, my God. That does not make the whole thing better but I understand now. I understand it all better. Why, why my Nicholas.

- "Who has betrayed him?" I ask and try to wipe away my tears. Sam gives me tissue.

- "I would rather let my brother explain this. When Nicholas was a kid, maybe 3-4 years old, the police officers in Belfast, In Northern Ireland found him in the park, just abandoned. They could not find his parents, but then they knock at our door and told us that they had found my cousin, Nicholas. Nicholas's biological father had left him in the city park, I have not been told why, but Nicholas knows. My dad and Nicholas's father is half-brothers. Their common father had a relationship before marriage to my grandmother where he got Nicholas father with a middle-class woman. Very unusual back then. That's the case. " says Sam, and hold my hands. Oh, my God. Is this true. I must hug Nicholas, poor him. No wonder he acts like he does. I feel so stupid, I should've known this.

- "Please don't cry," he says and gives me a hug. He turns around and gives me a letter. "I want you to go home and read this, and you must eat something,  I can cook something for you?" Says Sam. Oh, now I understand what Steve meant by them cared about each other a little extra, because they really do. I shake my head and smile. "My parents still asking for you .. Don't know how many excuses I have told them" Sam says, smiling. I start laughing. 

"What did you say then?" I say and put my head on one side. 

"I had told them that you study, work, travel abroad, meet friends, everything that is possible to do for over three weeks! They really liked you so go home and read the letter, "says Sam, getting up from the chair. I rise from the bench and give him a hug. 

"Bye Gabriella" he says 

"Goodbye Sam" I reply and walk out the door. 

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When I came back to Felicia's apartment Felicia was nowhere to be seen, I knocked on the door for over 10 minutes. Luckily I got the spare key from her before I left. I open the door and throw my bag on the floor and sit down on a chair in the kitchen and read the letter, it is handwritten, oh.

To my Gabriella, 

I've been trying to reach you for days, weeks. Feels like years into my heart. I don't blame you because you left, you probably made ​​the right thing. I know how "fucked up" I really am. I just want to ask you for a chance where I get the opportunity to explain myself. If anyone knows the importance of justice it's you, let's us get that. For our sake, Gabbie. 

I hope I get to see you soon,

  Nicholas Garnett 

I cry, I can't stop crying. Oh, I will be a wreck until my tomorrow. Oh, my God. I am in love with Nicholas Garnett. Fuck, why are this so freaking hard...