All Of Me

Chapter Twenty-six

I wake up because of the lights glowing me in my eyes, I just rise myself up. I look around me, I'm lying on a examining table, Nicholas sitting next to me and suddenly he looks at me. Huh? What am I doing here? Nicholas throws himself over me.

- "Gabriella!" He says and kisses me on the cheek. I don't get it, am I in heaven now but why are Nicholas here? Did we both die? When I look around once more, I see Sam. What Sam too?

- "Hey, beautiful. You have had a panic attack and you fainted, but you are in the hospital so everything is okay now " says Sam walks up to me. Nicholas stands up and holds my hand. I look at Nicholas, his eyes filled with worry, oh no. I start to cry. Sam sits down next to me on the examining table and puts his hand on my knee, to show his support.

- "Gabriella, it's good now. You are safe now, "says Nicholas and holds my hand harder. Sam put his head on his side, just like Nicholas usually do. I try to wipe away my tears which I can't. I just continue to cry. "Nicholas, I must ask you to go out, I must ask questions to Gabriella, and she may feel that it's too inconvenient to have you here," says Sam and looks at Nicholas. But Nicholas gives him the look that he does when he gets angry. Oh, I would not fussing with him now.

- "Nicholas can stay." I answer and I hear a little light sight comes from Nicholas. 

- "Okay. Well, first, Gabriella, have you got any kind of help for the panic attacks or talked to anyone about this? "Sam asks and he gets up to sit in his chair. Oh, no. I really do not want him or Nicholas to hear how big emotional wreck I really am. I sit up and Nicholas standing still but closer to me. 

- "Yes, I have" I reply, and sobbing a little. 

- "I understand that you had such panic attacks before, after I read your journal  I understand, you have traumatic problems?" Sam says. And I regret that I told Nicholas to stay here. They will now get to know a young woman with huge traumatic problems. I have dealing with these panic attacks for a long time, but as soon as I started the university my problems where gone. Because I was in Stockholm and I had nothing to be afraid of.  

- "Yes, I do" I reply, and I see how Nicholas checks at me with his big eyes. Is he mad because I didn't say anything, or he understands how a mess I really am, he would definitely not want me as a girlfriend, certainly not. 

- "Gabriella, I would recommend that you talk to someone about your traumatic problems because you got a past of thoughts of not wanting to live anymore. I want you to talk to some kind of therapist." Says Sam. I start crying again. 

- "I'm not like that anymore, I felt bad when I saw her. But I want to live, I'm not, what can I say? I want to live I want to live with Nicholas, it's the only thing I want right now."I say, and get up. "What happened today, haven't happened for years. Yes, I got traumatic problems but I can deal with it." I say and I can feel the anger starts to boil inside of me. I'm ruined as a person but I know that I feel a thousand times better now than I did back then. I don't want people to think I'm feeling bad, I don't. I'm with Nicholas now and yes, I feel good. 

- "Gabriella, baby. Please, you have to talk to someone "says Nicholas and pulls me closer to him. "Please, do it," he says and kisses me on the forehead. 

- "Just let me think about it" I say. 

- "You're a stubborn but very strong young woman, Gabriella, let no one take that away from you." Sam says, smiling. Oh, these brothers, what shall I do with them?

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I sit on the sofa in Nicholas living room. Oh, what a day. Nicholas comes in with two cups, one with coffee and one with tea. He gives me a cup of tea and I accept it. Oh, it's way too hot. Nicholas sits down on the sofa and holds his coffee cup.

- "Why didn't you tell me you had traumatic problems?" Nicholas asks. He looks a little sad, oh, no.

- "I don't know" I reply, taking a sip of my tea. 

- "I thought you died in my arms, my heart was shattered into a thousand pieces. I've never seen you like that, Gabriella. I've never felt like that, I thought you would leave me. I was scared, for real. "Nicholas says, and I hear his voice starts to sound weird. I put the cup on the sofa table and see that Nicholas is crying. Oh no. Please. My Nicholas. I sit on his lap, and put my hand on his cheek and kiss away his few tears. I've never seen him like this. "Gabriella, you have no idea how much I love you. Oh, if you only knew. "Says Nicholas and looks at me with his tear-filled eyes. 

- "I love you" I say and kiss Nicholas. 

- "Let me love you, Gabriella," he says. 

- "Yes!" I reply, and Nicholas throws himself over me. He kisses me with that passion that he only can do. He needs me, I need him. We need each other. I can feel his heart beating faster and faster. But still I can't deny that something is wrong with him. Yes, we had have a hard day but it's something up with Nicholas. And his heart is beating fast. Is he worried? Is he nervous?

- "Nicholas?" I ask, and put my hand on his chest. 

- "Yeah, baby" he says and kisses slowly along my neck. 

- "What was the matter with you at your office today, what was the problem?" I ask. 

- "Nothing that you should know," says Nicholas and continue. No, he's lying to me. I know that. 

- "Don't lie to me" I say and he immediately stops kissing me and his eyes are too dark now, oh, no. What have I done now. 

- "Gabriella" he says, putting his hands to my face. 

- "Nicholas, tell me what's going on..." I say, and yes, I'm angry. Nicholas takes a deep breath, oh, he does not let his gaze from me. I start to feeling worried. 

- "I have to move back to London." He says and tears falls down to my cheeks. Does this mean the end for us? Now what? Am I, Gabriella Johnson going to be left here alone? Is this the end?