All Of Me

Chapter Twenty-two

I wake up from a noice I hear, something is rustling as if something opens up a door or a huge door. I open my eyes and see that we are at a garage. I stretch a little and I look at Nicholas. He looks quickly at me and smiles. 

- "Did you sleep well?" He asks. I smile and nod. Oh, I really needed this power nap. Nicholas parks the car. But as soon as I woke up, I start to get nervous, why? I have been here before. Oh, I get so annoyed with myself. Why can't I just be calm whole the time instead?  We go out of the car. I take my bag and Nicholas takes the cake and we are heading towards the elevator. Oh, I packed a lot in my bag because it's heavy, really heavy. Nicholas is looking at me and he smiles. I wonder if he is nervous, or I just wonder what he is thinking right now. The elevator makes this sound that tell us that we are on the right floor. We walk out and we are standing in front of Nicholas door. He is taking up the keys from his pocket and and he opens the door. I don't know if it's nervousness or anxiety that is taking over me now, but this isn't good. I put down my bag and Nicholas goes directly to the kitchen. I walk slowly to the kitchen, but I take a quick look at everything. Nothing has changed. Everything looks as usual, looks like a multi-millionaire owns the place. I sit on the barstool. Nicholas turns around to looks at me. 

- "Would you like to have wine?" He asks. I nod. He opens the fridge again and take out a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. He walks towards me and pours a glass of white wine to me, I'll take a glass and I immediately take a sip. I don't know what is wrong with me. But this does not feel good. Nicholas walks around the kitchen island and sits on the bar stool next to me."How is it?" He asks.

- "Nicholas, this is not right." I reply and it does not feel right. Why am I even doing this? Is it because he is drop dead gorgeous? Or is it because I'm really liking this man? I keep on thinking of the last time I was here. His hands was full of blood, I can still hear that awful women's voice and I can still feel what I felt back then. This between us is something that I never going to be able to control. I can't control his feeling or his past, neither can he do with me. 

- "Don't say that" he says. I can't look him in the eyes. I can't do this. Entire I is filled with anxiety, I can't stop thinking. The words "what if" is printed over whole my head. I'm going to freak out, Calm down Gabriella.

- "Nicholas, we must face the facts, we can't do this. You and I don't belong together, we, there is no longer us" I say, trying not to look at him. Oh, this will not work. He has his past and I have my own. Although I really like him or I'm in love with him in a way I never thought I could, but I can't. He grabs my hand. 

- "Never say that" he says. I pull back my arm and I get up from the chair. Why didn't I realize this from the beginning? I start walking towards the door. I have to get out from this apartment and that's now. I hear someone walking behind me. Right as it is I'm pushed up against the wall. Nicholas staring straight into my eyes. His gaze makes me breathe rapidly. What is he doing with me? Why does he make me feel like this? He presses me against the wall and keep my hands on the wall.  "Never say that. I never want to hear those words again. I intend to do everything for you to understand that we belong together. If it means I have to roll me on a bed of nails or go through fire, or lose everything I own, I do it. You must give us a chance. We are not perfect but we are perfect for each other, fuck,  just understand it." He says, and his eyes are fiery, I almost lose my breath. Nicholas release my arms and starts kissing me on the neck, between the kisses on my neck he says;  "What shall I do to make you understand?" I don't know what he does with me. Right now, I'm under his control. In a way, it's scary how he effect me, but in a way it's amazing. I don't have anxiety, worry simply nothing because I know somewhere in the end he would not hurt me. He would never hurt me. He meets my eyes and kisses me. I look at him. Oh, how I've missed him. I put my arms around him and he lifts me up, I wrap my legs around him. "Gabriella, what shall I do to make you understand?" he says and continues kissing me along my cheekbone.

"Fuck me", I say, and his eyes have never been so fiery. I need him. I want him. I need all of him and he needs all of me. We're moving us to the bedroom. He lays me gently in his bed. I do not have time to look around, I don't have time to inspect if some other women has been here. I must have him and it is now. Now or never. He throws off his jacket then he starts slowly walk forward towards me. I bite my lip. He is mine, I'm his. He grabs my feet and pulls me to the edge of the bed. I sit there and I look up at him. His eyes are screaming of passion if not more. 

- "Undress me" he says. I can't help but to smile, I get up from the bed and put my hands on his shoulders. I finally get to touch him. I have not touched him for weeks. I touch his strong beautiful arms, he is really strong. But right as it is he throws me down on the bed again. 

- "I need you." he says and grabs his shirt and just tear it up. I die. My British sex god. He is strong, he must train a lot, Oh my, he is just everything, he is simply a dream. I can't help myself from biting my lip. He looks down at the floor, but he looks back to me. His blue eyes are full of the intensity, his blue eyes are fiery, hot and that look could undress any women. I feel how he grabs my feet and I'm on the edge of the bed. He  kisses me at the neck while he lifts me up, so I stand on my feet. Oh, how I've missed him. He grabs the zipper on my dress and pulls it down. My dress falls to the floor as well with my lace underwear.

- "Gabriella, you're so beautiful" he says and pulls me towards him. He grabs my breasts and starts kissing me. Without that I have time to even think Nicholas taking off my bra, he throws it away somewhere in the bedroom, it is too dark to see where. Nicholas kissing my breasts. I missed him so much, for so long. But amidst all the thinking he takes me in his arms, he put me on the bed. There I lie in his bed, naked and completely charmed by this man. This man gets my world to spin, he makes me alive. Nicholas unbuttoning his suit pants, pulling them off, and his boxer shorts. Oh, my God. I had not forgotten about that particular, but, yes he probably also missed me, much as I can see. He sits on his knees on the bed and pulls me up so I sit astride on him. 

- "Tonight, I'm fucking you" says Nicholas and before I have time to take in the words, he is inside of me. I can't help myself, I throw my arms around him. Pushing my body against his. I hear his moans, I know he needs me just as much as I need him. He grabs my hips, hard. This is not at all like the first time we had sex with each other, it feels more, what to say, genuine, something is different. Nicholas lay me down on my back and he is above me, he bumps into me hard. I can't help but to moan, I can feel how close I'm to an orgasm. For such a short while, but I need all of him and he needs all of me. For the first time in a long time I finally understand that. We need each other, not only sexually but emotionally. "I missed you so much, you are mine, you hear me, never leave me," says Nicholas, and when he says it, he bumps into me deeper. I moan even louder and I grab the pillow behind me, this is hard, but me and Nicholas have never had sex like this, we have not had sex like this before, never, it's new. He needs me, for real, in a way, I don't know. But I need him as well. It's like our bodies cries out for each other. It's like we need each others touch to be able to breath. But my thoughts are interrupted when Nicholas bumps into me, hard, and the next bump makes me come. I moan loudly and it's like a weight off my shoulders have been provided. Nicholas is not far behind.  "Gabriella, Oh, fuck," he says, and he also comes. He lies down on his elbows and kisses me. We are both quite sweaty, we are just laying down there in his bed to catch our breath.  "You are mine, only mine," says Nicholas, and so we begin again. Gabriella, how do you cope this?  I need him in a way I just have been denying for myself, he has done it as well. But can I do all this, being with him thought his past? I don't really know, but I know I need him, every centimeter of him.