All Of Me

Chapter Twenty-one

Me and my brain is out.  I never been so tired in my head. What a day. There are still lots of people at my parents house. This day has been amazing in every way, but right now I need to be alone, to myself and just try to get some mind of everything, just let the thoughts rush. I decide to go up to my room. I really need to move away from home thought. I walk up the stairs and then up to my room. It's small, very small. But considering that the only thing I've been doing these past few years in my room is sleeping, eating and studying. I think consider to the size of the room, it's okay. I sit on the bed and put my elbows on my knees and take a deep sigh. I hear someone opening my door.

- "So, it's here you hiding" says a familiar voice, I look up. Oh, there he is, my British sex god. I can't help but to smile. He goes in and sits down next to me. "Are you okay?" He asks and puts his arm around me.

- "I'm overwhelmed, I don't know what to think or do" I respond and look at him. He takes his hand and caresses my cheek.

- "Don't think then. It's your day, keep those thoughts until later. Please, not now. "he says and kisses me on my forehead. I lean my head against his shoulder. "Gabriella?" He says with a deep and concern voice. I move my head and immediately looks into his eyes, what now?

- "Yes?" I reply and my eyes must light up with fear, because I don't know what he is going to tell me. This man can be or say anything. My eyes are big as globes, I feel. God, what now? Have something bad happens? It sounded like that.

- "Follow me home, please. We can talk there "he says and takes my hand.

- "Nicholas, I don't know if it's such a good idea," I say and my look goes down to the floor. He takes his hands and pulls my face to his.

- "I beg you, please." He says, and he does not take his eyes off me. I can feel how my anxiety creeps slowly forward, fuck. Oh, no. Pull yourself together. I don't know if this is a good idea, maybe we should wait, but I want to be with him, I really do.

- "I don't know, Nicholas" I answer and I look down on the floor again. I want to be with him, but what should I do. Dare I, can I do it? What happens if me and Nicholas starting fighting again. Should I just leave him all over again. No.  "Okay" I reply, and he kisses me on the forehead. I take a light sigh, and I feel some relief. Fuck. Maybe this is a good idea, then we can talk but if we start fighting I can always go back to Felicia or something. 

- "Pack your bag," he says and gets up and pulls his shirt arms.

- "Huh? Why? "I reply and I look up at him.

- "Why don't you stay with me for a couple of days, if you want to of course." he says, looking slightly embarrassed. Eh, why does he want it? We need to sort this out that is between us. Before then, I will not spend a few days with him. He walks closer to me and takes my hand. "Gabriella, I can always bring you back home if you want. But I need you now, please give me a chance. "He says. Oh, this man has a huge need for control. It is sick. Should I do this? Do I dare? I just can't say no to him. I nod and he smiles at me. I turn around and go to my closet to take out a bag. What will happen now? I'm going back to Stockholm with Nicholas and we are going to have this big talk, and if it goes bad he brings me back home. But if all is going in the right way, what are going to happen then? Oh, Gabriella. What are you doing?

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Both me and Nicholas said goodbye to everyone, they were still partying even if I left. But I'm glad they do. I think everyone understood that I would go off to Stockholm with Nicholas. My mom had anticipated it, quite sweet thought. She even told him to bring a cake from the party back home, my mom always buys to much. She had bought too much cake. Nicholas couldn't say no. What if I get to a "compulsive eating"  while during the ride to Stockholm? Or I need sugar. Maybe we really need that cake. Or our talk is going to get bad and I need to cry and eat that fucking cake. We sit inside his sports car. I run out of breath as soon as we go into this car, this car is worth more than my life is. Nicholas looks at me and puts his hand on my thigh. He looks so calm, especially now when he is driving. I smile a little. I know it's good now, but we still need to talk.

- "Are you hungry?" Nicholas asks and looks at me but have to quickly look back on the road.

- "If I eat something more I will burst" I answer and I hear how he laughs a little and I start to laugh too. 

- "Same here. Just the thought that we have a whole cake for ourselves makes me feel bad" he says, smiling. Oh, he seems so alive and I can't stop giggling. He takes his hand tighter around my thighs, oh, I think he missed me or?

- "We could always throw away the cake? I don't think my mother would be bother." I say, trying to dry my tears from all the laughter. 

- "Throw away? We can't throw the cake. We got it, we'll eat it, but not today" he answers, and it was a long time ago, I really saw him like this. Why does it get so fucking intense for small things, things thats not even worth discussing about. I roll my eyes and I try to stay calm. 

- "We can always give it to Sam." I reply. Those words is just coming out of my mouth, I don't even get to think before I say it. How can I start talking about him now? 

- "Why?" He says and suddenly he becomes stiff. Oh, no.. But really? Why? It's just his brother.  He can't be jealous of his own brother? It's quiet for a while. We do not say a word to each other for several minutes. I don't know how to express myself. What's wrong with him? Or did I say something wrong? 

- "You know that Sam called me while we weren't seeing each other. He stood up for you, Nicholas. I don't really want to discuss this now but it's if you see red just hearing his name, I may as well still continue. He called me and begged me to take you back. He made ​​me understand, he made ​​me understand how you are. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be sitting in this car right now "I say, but someone yells at me, I'm jumping from my seat, or almost.  

- "Gabriella" Nicholas is screaming and he is furious and stops the car. I get scared. I have not seen him like this since I left the apartment. He takes his hands around my face and looks at me. I look into his furious blue beautiful eyes, but I try to be calm. It does not help that I shout at him. "Don't say it like that. I will be forever be grateful to my brother and my family. Gabriella, don't think like that about me. You have no idea how grateful I am to them and you "he says and looking with those beautiful eyes at me. Oh. Damn. I don't understand Nicholas. One minute he seems like the world's nicest guy, others second he is the most emotionally coldest person on this earth. I can't read him, I don't understand him, what should I do, what should I do? I'm already beginning to question myself. Why should I be with him?   "Gabriella, stop over thinking. The last thing I want to discuss is about a cake and my brother. Right now I just want to go home with you. Just leave it." Nicholas says and grabs my hand. He's right. Maybe I just over analyze everything? Or just really tired and it's late. Or he is a fucking maniac. I don't know what's really the problem but I should just calm down and try to let it go. I lean my head back and I feel how my eyelids goes slowly down. I'm knocked out. Gabriella Johnson is out.