All Of Me

Chapter Twenty (Nicholas Garnett's chapter)

*This chapter is going to be from Nicholas Garnett's point of view. 

Gabriella opens the door to her parents' house. It's small, but who am I to compare with. When I step inside, it's full of people. Children running everywhere, adults standing and talking to each other, it's crowded. This place is really too crowded, it is at least more than 30 people in here. I take Gabriella's hand. Please don't run away from me. The last thing I want is to lose myself among all Gabriella's relatives. It would be a nightmare. Gabriella smiles, I can't help to smile back. God, I love this woman. I keep looking at her. Her smile makes me weak in my knees, if she only knew. If she only knew what she is doing to me. We go into her parents' living room and here is the people. Shit, now I have to really speak Swedish, I hate to speak it. It doesn't feel like me, it was something I been forced to do when I was little. Fuck. But I don't want to be rude so I have no choice. I'm really glad that me and Gabriella speak English with each other, it feels natural and we understand each other much better that way, or do we? Gabriella's mother comes forward to us.

- "Yes! You are here! "She says and gives first Gabriella a hug, and then me. 

- "We were looking for a parking lot, it took awhile"  Gabriella replies and put a strand of hair behind her ear and giggles a little bit. God, she is so beautiful. I put an arm around her, I hope I don't make her feel too uncomfortable. I, I need her, I need to make her know that, oh, my Gabriella. 

- "Oh, what lovely roses, god, I put them in a vase," says Gabriella's mother and takes them and goes to the kitchen. Their decor is fantastic, it's white with beige and brown details, it feels fresh. Swedes knows how to do it, and that IKEA is not the only alternative. Okay, now I'm judgemental. Gabriella takes my hand and smiles. If this woman only knew what she is doing to me.

- "Are you nervous?" she asks. God, this woman read me outright. How can she do that? I can not help but to smile a little. 

- "A little" I say and put my arms around her and kisses her on the forehead. Someone comes up to me and Gabriella. What now? 

- "Congratulations Gabriella! We are so proud of you! "Says an elderly lady and hugging Gabriella hard. Gabriella laughs and smiles. 

- "Thank you Grandma! Let me present, this is Nicholas "she says and I'll just take the old lady's hand but I get a big hug instead. Then she looks at me and take my hand. 

- "Ann-Malin, I'm Gabriella's grandmother," she says, smiling. 

- "Nicholas" I just say, smiling. God, her family really likes her, I can tell that. They are all just happy for her. Ah, I can't blame them.

- "Wow, what a nice boyfriend you have, quite a catch their, Gabby !!" says Ann-Malin and blinking with one eye, Gabriella is dying inside but I can't help but laugh. I look at Gabriella, she is little red in her face and looks like she would sink into the ground. Some cousins ​​of Gabriella comes up and talks to her, yes they talk about everything. They start to touch her hair, the dress. I guess they're talking about her incredibly beautiful dress she has but there is no discussion that I should be in. I let it go over to the cousins​​. I wonder how many relative she really has. I have to take some air so I go out to the garden, there are some other relatives where I also greet. But I go a bit away so I can take a deep breath. Oh, my. If someone asked me 5 years ago where I would be picture myself, I wouldn't say this. I'm not that guy with girlfriends or the guy who wants a girlfriend. But, Gabriella is something else. I like her family. My family is not at all like this, open. First of all, it's only brits, I have some relatives from Sweden but we don't socialize with them. I don't consider them as my relatives. I'm a brit, not a swede. My mother hates when I say that but, that's the case. I can feel someone touching me on the back and bother me in the middle of all the thinking. It is Gabriella's mother.

- "Many people, huh?" She says and gives me a glass that looks like it's water, I drink out of it.

- "I'm not really used to it." I reply, smiling. She may of course not think I'm scared of all this so I have to try to talk about something, okay Nic bring it on. "You must be proud of your daughter" I continue.

- "I really am. Gabriella has had it rough, poor girl, but today she got the revenge she wanted for so long, it's simply her day today." she says and I notice that it hurts even to her to talk about it. Her mother's eyes simply becomes vulnerable. I know Gabriella have been had it thought but how bad was it? Maybe my thoughts about Gabriella had felt pain, pain like me, it hurts inside of me. 

"Yes, Gabriella told me about the bullying" I say, taking a sip from my glass. What should I say? Gabriella has not said much more than that it was a hard and painful. Should I ask her mother about it? Or, would it be wrong. I need to know.

- "Yes, yes, it was extremely difficult for her. Her final year at high school, she skipped classes for the most part, the teachers lowered her grades. They didn't notice that she was feeling bad. Gabriella was in depression, no one understood it properly not even me as Gabriella's mother. But she lost more than 22 lbs, you will not understand how much there is on her little body back then. No, Gabriella has not had it easy with all adversity. She has this demons that tries to tell her how bad she really is, and that she doesn't deserve things that happens in her life. But today, she has made her revenge, I hope she feel it too. I'm so proud of her "says Anitha and smiles when she says those last words. I begin to understand. Me and Gabriella has many things in common. We are our own worst enemies. It was like Sam said. We should not let our past get in the way. I pull my hand to my face, I don't even think of the idea of ​​a depressed Gabriella. It makes me think of these past few weeks, she has lost a lot of weight, but please don't let her be depressed. I turn around to look at Gabriella. Her cousins ​​watching her, on her dress, her hair, yes they look at whole her and she jokes with them. Oh, she really lives. Her smile says it all. God, I love her.

- "I am also proud of her," I reply, and her mom shines up like the sun. She wipes her  tears away from her eyes  and gives me a pat on the shoulder.

- "Oh, I hope Gabriella understand how proud we are of her," says her mom, and looks back at Gabriella who come out to us, her mother smiles at us and then goes into the house. I put my arm around Gabriella and kisses her on the forehead.

- "What was that about?" She says and looks at me.

- "How proud we are of you," I reply, and holding her tight. She puts her head on my chest and we just enjoying this moment, even how beautiful it is and how much I love this we still need to talk, not for my sake, but for ours. I know that everything isn't good, it is far from good. We need to give each other time and respect or whatever before our past catch us. Gabriella is the one I want to have a relationship with, she is my future. Where we can be open and honest, something that I could not imagine few years ago. I have never experienced love like this. Sure, I've had girls but none have interested me more than sexual. There is no one who has given the chance to let me stop and just live. But, Gabriella maybe is not as broken as I am, or what do I know? We both perhaps are broken, but we can't let our past get ahead of ourselves. I'll make sure it doesn't. We need to talk, and that's not tomorrow, next week, it's now. But, I want to see Gabriella happy. I want to enjoy this moment, seize it. I don't know if after our conversation if I will be able to get hold of her like this, I know that she is mine. I'm here with an angel, I'll take care of her, make her happy, because I love her. I really do.