All Of Me

Chapter Thirty-two

Now everything is packed for the move. Two large suitcases with clothes and the things I want to bring to London. I close the door to my room. I see the letter lying on my bed, I wonder what it could be.. I sit on my bed and take the envelope. It says "Gabriella" in ink on the front. I turn the envelope and takes out a letter, there are also pictures in it. I put the letter aside, looking at the photos. The first picture is of me and Nicholas during my graduation party at the home of my parents, I remember that everyone took pictures, but not that Nicholas did. The next photo is of me when I read a book in Nicholas apartment, huh, when did he take this photo? Huh? The last photo was taken during dinner with Nicholas's parents, I know that Sam would take a photo, but that was the meaning of all of us, but it is zoomed in on me and Nicholas. I can't help but to cry. I love this man so much, we have not known each other for a long time but oh, god I miss him already. I regret everything I've said, me and Nicholas we are perfect for each other, the pictures says more than a thousand words. We look so happy in the pictures, you can see the love between us. It can be seen in the pictures, stuff you only see in movies, the way Nicholas looks at me, I find no words for it. I wipe away my tears and put the pictures aside, I take up the letter. It is handwritten.

Gabriella

I don't know how many times I've tried to writing this letter, over and over again. When you said "yes" to move to London, I can't describe it with words  how I felt. I never thought that kind of things would happen to me.

If you only knew the effect you have on me, how much you really mean to me. I can't help to admire you for your courage. You are one of the few people who would do something like this. At the short time we have known each other, you have given me a lot. Before we met, I was one of England's most sought-after bachelor, not my words, it's actually the media who said it, trust me. There is no one I can trust, everyone wants me, everyone wants to know who I am, but not in the way you wanted. Before all this, I did everything in my way, it's the money and career that was my way but when I looked you in the eye the day you lay in my arms, completely helpless and looked at me with your big blue innocent eyes, I knew that you didn't look at me as the others. You made me see the world from a new perspective, I want everything, I want everything with you, I want all of you, Gabriella.

You and I are not so different. Aside from that you were born in Sweden, I was born in Northern Ireland. You grew up with your own family, I grew up without my family. You were growing up from a working class family, I was growing up in one of England's most affluent families. It does not matter, because you and I are equal. We have spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid to say something wrong. We both know how horrible life can be, but somehow I admire you again for your strength. Your way to live your life. I'm fucked up, but you learn me how to live a life, a happy life with a lot of love. You make me see it as not a obstacle anymore. You have no idea what you do to me. Without even realizing it, you taught me a lot of things in so little time. Not only about life, but how it's okay to feel something extraordinary about someone, that's you.

If I could give you one thing in this life, I would give you the probability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me.

Words can't describe my love for you. If you only knew.

I adore you, I love you

See you soon baby

You've got all of me

Nicholas

I can't stop crying. He knew how difficult this move would be for me, and his not even here during this time would makes things even harder. But this letter, I feel more strong about this. Knowing that he stands by my side. I don't understand why I have doubted him and the move, why? This man loves me, I love him. Despite our differences, it is as he says, we are more alike than different. We deserve it, we really do. I look at the clock standing on my bedside table, the clock is already 2:00 AM. Damn, I've been awake for so long. Nicholas said he would fly at this time because he had a breakfast meeting at 08:30 AM. I decide to send a text message to him anyway.