Thief 2 (m.e.)

Chapter 18

Matt's POV

The sound of a huge boom sounds, waking both Kole and I up, only Kole shoots up. She breaths heavily, she struggles to get out of the tangled covers and my grip around her waist. Eventually I let go, and she quickly scampers to her bag.

“Kole, what's wrong?" I ask sleepily.

She ignores me, violently searching through her bag.

By now I'm sitting up, trying to understand what she is doing.

“Kole?"

She starts to sob while pulling out something small, a pill bottle.

“What is that?" I ask, concerned.

She pours a couple into her hand and runs to the bathroom.

I go after her, but by the time I make it, the door is shut and locked.

“Kole please, don't do this, not this morning." I beg her, through the closed door.

The sobs echo through the bathroom.

  I walk back to her bag, and look at the knocked over bottle with a few pills spilled out of it.

After reading the label I sigh as I walk back to the bathroom door and wait. The door quietly opens. Dry tears are on her face.

“This is what you were hiding from me? Anxiety?" I scoff. “So what, you're scared of a little thunder-"

“No Matthew! I wasn't hiding my anxiety!" She declares. She begins to sob again. “I was hiding my anxiety, the fact that I'm bipolar, I'm schizophrenic, I was suicidal!" She sniffs. “I told you Matthew, I'm tired of hurting people, and myself!" She cries. “Who wants to be with someone who sees things that aren't there? Who wants to be with someone who, if they don't take their medicine, they'll cling in to them when ever the smallest thing happens. Who wants to be with a person who's mood swings are absolutely are bazaar? Who wants to be with that person?" She demands. “I try so hard, to see things clearly. even when I take my meds I focus on it. So I try my hardest not to let people get in the way. I have loved you Matt, and I do." She sniffs again. “I can understand why you would no longer love me-"

“You are so fucking selfish!" I shake my head at her. “How could you make me, fight so hard, and so long, to make you love me, when I already had accomplished… I told you I loved you, and I fucking ment it! And some stupid mental disorders doesn't change that! Why can't you believe that?"

She sobs trying to wipe her tears, but they continue to stream down her face. “I don't know… I guess I do now."

“Well how am I supposed to believe that? Hmm?"

She takes a couple staggered breaths.

“When I was a kid, my dad would beat my mom, constantly, he had a lot of anger issues, and other disorders himself, that's where I got mine." She sniffles. “When I turned eleven my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My dad would still beat my mom, but not as much, he stared to take a little of his anger out on my sister too… I was so scared that he might start to hurt me too, Matt… When I turned thirteen, I got my first boyfriend, his name was Stevean, by now, my mom was hairless, and was in a wheelchair. Three months later, my mom died."

I can see all the pain in her eyes as recalls the memories.

“My dad started to take his anger out on my sister even more.… One time he went to hit her in the back with a belt, it hit me in the face. He told me sorry repetitivly, and blamed her, only causing him to beat her again. I have never met any of my family members, not my aunts, uncles, grandparents, or even cousins, so all I had was my older sister and boyfriend." She takes in a deep staggered breath, letting her tears fall to the ground. “When I turned fourteen, my sister left. I don't know where she went, or even where she is now. My dad then started to beat me. When I turned fifteen, Steve broke up with me, and I had no one… That's when I realized, that the people you love, either leave or hurt you… So when I turned sixteen, I got emancipated and moved out. Even with everything my father did to me, I missed him, and got lonely, so I got a bunch of pills, alcohol, and anything else I could find illegal. I sat on my porch, took pill by pill… I guess one of the neighbors called an ambulance as soon as she noticed what I was doing."