Erwin x OC | The Girl From Outside

Chapter 35 - Stay Alive

"Dead?" Levi asked, an unusual hint of shock and anguish in his voice. I didn't grace him with a reply.

"Erwin" Levi started. "There's something you're not telling me"

I stood up from my desk. "Leave me"

"Erwi-"

"I said leave me!" I snapped, unwilling to discuss or even think about Charlotte any more in Levi's presence.

Levi scowled, and I became aware that he knew me well enough by now to tell when I was lying.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, I felt a single tear run down the side of my face.

I didn't understand, shock and confusion was still all I could manage to feel.

How could she lie to me?

I walked over to my window and looked out onto the courtyard, gazing down at the training that was taking place below me.

A couple training with wooden knives caught my eye, one was skilled but the other...not so much.

My eyes widened slightly when I saw that the couple were Gunther and Eren.

Eren was bashful and clumsy, he was obviously trying his hardest by the determined look on his face, but he had much to learn. When he made a mistake I saw him visibly rubbing the back of his neck nervously and apologising to Gunther.

I remembered the day that we saved Eren from the grasps of the military police in court, and in turn we lost Charlotte.

I felt a pang of pain from deep within me.

Eren and Charlotte were nothing compared to what I thought Titan shifters would be like. They were as human as anyone else, or at least they seemed that way.

Before I could think about anything else, someone abruptly burst through the door behind me without knocking or requesting entry.

I swivelled around, slightly agitated that I'd been disturbed, to see a grief stricken Hanji.

She looked worse for wear, like she hadn't slept or showered in days.

"Dead?!" Hanji yelled at me.

"Hanji, calm-"

"Levi told me what you said. But why are you lying to us Erwin?" Hanji barked.

"Excuse me?" I felt heat rising in my face.

"She's not dead. You wouldn't be acting this way if she was"

Hanji was right. I knew Charlotte was out there somewhere so instead of feeling grief and sadness I felt anguish and betrayal, and I was showing it. I was never much of an actor.

"I saw lightning in the forest" Hanji continued. "I put it down to the female titan shifting out of her Titan form at the time, but then when I thought about it, there was no lighting when Eren shifted out of his, or the colossal, or the armoured Titan"

"What are you getting at Hanji?" My brow furrowed in anger and nervousness.

"What happened with Charlotte?" She demanded.

"I think you already have a fair idea of what happened by the sounds of it"

Hanji's eyes widened. "So it's true then?"

"None of this goes out of this room" I said coldly.

"She's a Titan shifter?"

I nodded.

"And you left her behind?!" Hanji shouted.

"What?" I said quietly, taken aback by Hanji's anger.

"Why did you leave her out there?! We have one Titan shifter on camp already so what's the damage in having another?!"

"Hanji..." I started. "She lied to me, this entire time she could have told me, but she didn't. As soon as Eren was aware of his Titan ability he shared everything he knew with us. Charlotte could never be trusted"

"Hold on..." Hanji had a look on her face as if she'd had an idea. "The military police wanted to dissect Eren did they not? They wanted to experiment on him?"

"Yes, but we got custody over Eren that day"

"But we also lost Charlotte"

My eyes widened. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what Hanji was about to say.

"What are you saying?"

Hanji leaned forward. "I'm saying what if the military police took Charlotte and experimented on her instead? She was unique to them considering she was born outside of the walls. What if they implanted or injected her with something?"

"That's impossible" I felt tears prick the sides of my eyes, all the emotions I used to feel for Charlotte flooding back into my system.

"It would explain why Mike couldn't find her in any of the prisons, and it would explain the state she came out in."

All of a sudden I knew I'd made a huge mistake.

My gut instinct had served me well throughout my entire career with the survey corps, but I let my own selfish feelings get in the way and I left Charlotte behind to be eaten by those monsters.

It wasn't her that had betrayed me, I had betrayed her.

"Go and fetch Levi" I said. "I need to speak to you both together"

Hanji nodded and exited my office and I buried my face in my hands.

Charlotte had survived alone outside the walls for nineteen years before we found her, she was strong and agile, the strongest person I'd ever met.

But now she was used to life inside the walls, how well would she fair being left alone in the wilderness?

How could I be sure she was even still alive?

Please, stay alive.