I want to wreck myself
So bad
I want to stay up all damn night
And hate school in the morning
I want to be unapologetically
Pissed off and annoyed all day
I want to be sad
And for no one to notice
But everyone leaves me alone
I want to stop drinking water
And stop eating food
I would rather take a zero
Than finish my homework
Even after I was graced
With an extension
If I do fall asleep tonight
I don't want to wash off my makeup
And I want to cry myself to sleep
So when I look at myself in the mirror
The next morning
I absolutely hate myself
I don't want to shower
Or brush my hair
I don't want to watch movies
Or hang out with my friends
I want to disconnect
I want to isolate myself to my prison cell
And I want to stay there
I'm unmotivated
And unfeeling
I haven't a care in the world
Nothing is important to me right now
And as much as it feels good to give in
To tear myself apart
From the inside
I mostly just wish that this feeling
Of constant dread would just
Go away
YOU ARE READING
We All Grow Up
Poetryi started this collection of thoughts and feelings before i had really grown up. legally i'm supposed to be grown up now, but i'm still writing. i think it's going to be a long time before this collection feels complete, and i feel grown up.
