When I'm Gone

Chapter 3

I hung around the house nervously all day. I didn't have work and when I tried to focus on one of my textbooks I was unable to focus. When the time came to pick Amity up from school she was so excited. We did a quick shop and then headed back to the house.

I pulled the blow up mattress out from under my bed and placed it in the lounge room. As I was putting the shopping away Hallie started to cry. As I was trying to sooth her there was a knock on the door. I rocked her in my arms as I answered the door. Martell stood there with a duffle bag in his hand.

I moved to the side to allow him in, I walked behind him to the kitchen. He watched Hallie as she cried into my chest. I still rocked my crying little girl. Your bottle will be done soon, baby. Martell interrupted my thoughts "do you want me to hold her?"

I looked at him for a moment considering it, he added "I'm not going to steal her and runoff. Technically it's not stealing. She's mine."

A tear left my cheek "okay, hold her."

He watched as I walked over to him, I placed her in his arms and walked over to her bottle. The microwave was about to finish. I tipped the cocoa powder in and mixed it together. I handed it over to Martell.

Hallie was quick to take it up to her mouth. "Lay her on her back, she should fall asleep with it. She was due for a nap an hour ago but she refuses to sleep in the car. Which interferes with Amity's school pick up time."

Martell nodded following my instructions, I continued to pack away everything I had bought. My mind repeatedly ran back to what he had told me about yesterday. He wanted to take my world from underneath me. I harshly wiped the tears from under my eyes. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was watching me.

I excused myself to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror at my red eyes. I did manage to find time today to cry some more and look into my legal options. I knew if he were to lawyer up I wouldn't stand a chance against his legal team. My wondering thought was soon interrupted by a knock on the door. I quickly washed my face and then dried it.

When I opened the door Martell stood there "what do you want Mathers?"

He looked down to our daughter who was sleeping in his arms "where's her bed?"

"In my bedroom, follow me."

I led him to my bedroom pulling back her blanket so he could put her down. Once she was placed down I brought the blanket to her chin. I kissed her forehead "mummy and daddy love you, baby."

I closed the door behind me quietly. We both returned to the kitchen. Martell asked as he sat at the table "where's Amity?"

I made us a cup of tea "she's next door, she should be back in ten minutes. She tutors the boy next door for spare cash."

Martell looked shocked "you aren't that bad off are you, I send money for Amity?"

I shook my head "I have never excepted any of that. All that money get split and put into an account which I don't have access to. It's for the girls future. I never took Amity in for the money, Mathers."

Martell shook his head angrily "then why did you do all of this. Take in my sister and raise my daughter without me?"

I dried my eyes "because I love you, I never stopped loving you. I did this all for you. I can't do this, you won't listen to me calmly so none of this matters, the truth doesn't matter to you. What's the point. You are going to hurt me anyway. You are going to take them away from me. I get I'm the bad person in this picture but what about you. You haven't seen Amity in two years."

I was yelling at this point "You and her barely went two weeks without each other than two years. You weren't there when I had to cuddle her each night because she thought you no longer loved her. She would sit by the phone and wait for you to call when you were on tour. Half the time you never called. She would wait by the phone until I told her to go to bed. I promised I would wake her when you finally called."

He sat there stunned as I started to make dinner. He didn't make a sound until Amity came through the door. We both put on our happy faces and acted like everything was fine. I mixed through the spices in my spaghetti. Amity came up behind me wrapping her arms around my waist. "Hi, Lilee."

I turned to face her wrapping my available arm around her shoulders "Hey Honey, did you have a good day?"

She nodded "yeah, Riley and I spent lunch in the library reading about myths and legends. It was so cool."

I kissed her temple "maybe you can reading part of the book later on. Do you want to help me with dinner?"

She nodded "yeah, Mickey, do you want to help?"

I glanced over to her brother to see he was nodding. They worked on the salad while I put the finishing touches on the sauce. I tipped the sauce over the meat and then mixed in the spaghetti. I put in on the plates and then set it in front of them. I quickly made Hallie a plate for when she wakes.

The dinner was very awkward. Amity and Martell did all of the talking I mainly just played with my food, pushing it around the plate. Dinner was soon done and I stacked all of the dishes by the sink. I told Amity to go for a shower as I fed the now awake hungry bear that is my daughter. I cut her food into little pieces and then heated it.

Martell stood in the corner watching me as I fed her. She didn't take long to finished and play with the food instead of eating it. I put it with the rest of the dishes cleaning her off. I placed her in her playpen in the lounge room. I rinsed and washed all the dishes and then checked on Amity. It was nine o'clock now and she was tired. I helped her get into bed pulling the covers over her. "Good night baby."