When I'm Gone

Chapter 7

My lips froze against his, his lips were rough, to begin with, but then they became soft. Almost too gentle. He was acting as though he could easily break me. Finally, my lips moved against his. He murmured "I have missed you, baby. Say you missed me, Lil."

I nodded my head, my lips still against his. Martell's left hand moved down to my waist and his right hand down to my knee pulling me into his lap. His manhood hard against my throbbing hear. My hands wrapped loosely around his neck. I pulled away from him "take me to bed Mathers. Show me how much you missed me."

He spread butterfly kisses all over my face and down my neck to my chest. She stood from the couch carrying me to my bed. He laid down being so loving and caring. He spends the majority of the night being loving and caring. As we laid in bed cuddled in each other's arms I couldn't help but reflect on the last two years.

Martell was fast asleep and he had been for quite a while. Quiet snores filled the room. I could help admire his gorgeous face. His long eyelashes against his cheek. His blonde hair pushes in every direction. His skin much tanner than it used to be unlike before it was now scattered in tattoos of all kinds.

As I went to get out of the bed to go to the bathroom his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me into his chest. I placed my palm against his warm chest trying to get up but he wouldn't let me go. I gently shook him awake "Martell, I need to get up."

He mumbled incoherently "mms, stay in bed."

I tried to push harder "I need to toilet, after Hallie my body hasn't been the same."

He reluctantly let me leave moving over to where I just laid. When I got to the bathroom I did my business I then washed my hands. As I glanced in the mirror I could help but notice all the love bites that now marked my skin. I ran my fingers over the coloured skin. I still love him, after all this time I still feel the same.

I turned off the light joining him back in the bedroom. He was laying on my pillow with his hands behind his head. I smiled at him shyly. No one had seen my body post Hallie. He smiled at me lovingly "come back to bed, baby."

I slowly nodded "sorry I woke you."

As I got in beside him, he was quick to pull me into his chest "after all this time you kept, the necklace."

I nodded "I meant what I said when you first returned, I love you regardless of you being out of site. I guess I was still stuck in the past and what we had."

Martell toyed with a stray hair that laid over my breasts "me too. I didn't stop loving you ever or even thinking about you. So many times I just wanted to get on a plane and see you and Amity but I would leave the important work I was doing. I had a contract and music to write. I never once stopped to think that you were raising our family alone. I'm sorry. I don't care that you lied I care that I never once came to check on you.."

I placed my lips on his to keep him quiet "I wanted it that way, we saw you. Live when you came around here on tour. Amity and I watched you perform. You were amazing and I am so proud of what you have achieved. I always wanted you to achieve huge things in life. Show kids that they could get out of shit situations."

I laid on Martells' chest as he spoke "but I also wanted to be a dad. When I found out you were pregnant I was over the moon. I swore that I would never be like my mother or dead beat father. But then I wasn't a dad. Sorry, we keep going back to this but I need to talk about it. This is all driving me crazy. You still drive me crazy after all of this time."

I giggled "you still make me feel like a teenaged girl."

He brushed his nose against my cheek "we are twenty, it's meant to be different. We are meant to be wild but I have a contract in place preventing that and we have kids, responsibilities."

I nodded "yeah we do need to be responsible and think about the bigger picture."

Martell nodded "yeah, I would like to talk more about that with you. Your future, our future."

I nodded "yeah, there are a lot of decisions to make regarding the girls."

Martell continued to play with my hair, wrapping it around his fingers and then releasing it. He cleared his throat nervously "I want you to keep studying but quit your job. I know Mark, he won't mind. I want you to focus on your course and you. I also want to be there for our girls. I mean living together in one of the houses I have found. I don't mean we have to share a bedroom or whatever but I want to be there for them every day. I have missed so much, I don't want to miss another moment."

I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't going to drop the subject "let's come to an agreement. The girls and I will move in with you but I keep my job at the restaurant but cut my hours. A few nights a week. Although I do need to get some studying done tomorrow."

He nodded "surely you will need a live model or something."

I nodded "no, I already know enough about the male anatomy. You can keep me company as long as you are quiet and keep your hands to yourself. You're distractive enough. You look amazing, all that time in the sun has done you well."

He kissed my chin "being a mum has been great for you. Nothing is hotter than you being a mum to my child. Maybe one day Hallie and Amity will have more little Mathers running around."